Alcoholism Q&A
16 experts · 236 questions answered
Latest Q&As
It's ok to be angry
A 54-year-old survivor of childhood abuse, in recovery from opiate/benzo addiction, asks whether it's common for adult children of alcoholics to feel anger and panic toward a non-offending parent, and how to resolve it.
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Online Counseling
Hi Susan, Thank you so much for reaching out and connecting with me! I am happy for you that you've achieved a period of sobriety and being a "dry drunk" means that you've yet to make other changes in your life. I am biased in that I see 12 step programs as very effective, free and widely available
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Losing Family and Friends to Alcoholism
Hello Scott, I don't know of any research in the area of loss particularly to alcoholism, however, considering addiction with the 'disease model' alcoholism affects so much of the body, organs, brain, etc are affected that many people die of related causes to the disease. There are many reasons peop
Answered by Jeannie Cameron, LMHC
Patterns
Hello and thank you for connecting with me and sharing your experience. The pattern you've described is very common and as you're seeing, it tends to get worse over time. What we most often see is a gradual decline in the person's ability to function. To not participate in his patterns is primarily
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Nocturnal Enuresis - Alcohol Use
Tina, That is a great question, as I know there are many more people out there afraid to ask this question. Years of chronic drinking takes a toll on all the organs of the body, none are left unscathed. The brain disease model tells us that when the frontal cortex is malfunctioning all other brain s
Answered by Jeannie Cameron, LMHC
When Your Partner is Active
Hi Janelle, thank you for writing and for making your needs a priority. My first caution to "affected others" (we who love an active alcoholic or addict) is to ensure that we are not enabling (protecting the alcoholic from the natural consequences of their behavior). To do so is to rob them of motiv
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Safety is Everything
Hi there and thank you so much for your excellent question. I urge you to consider that as your husband's disease progresses, his behavior will likely become more erratic and difficult to predict. Given what you've described it seems plausible that he would assault but this is at best a guess based
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Rock and a Hard Place
My heart goes out to you and your family. I've known a lot of good people who find themselves in a place of having no good options. My best guidance to you is to meet with a member of your local police department and ask for their guidance. My guess is that it will take legal action to have him remo
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Having Hope & Being Powerless
Hi there and thanks for your excellent question. Short answer - no, there's nothing you can do other than pray or send positive vibes or whatever works for you spiritually. It's a tough form of powerlessness when we care about someone and see that they're destroying themselves. Is there reason to ha
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Losing Friends to Alcoholism
The deterioration of an individual's personality and character are destroyed after chronic use of substances, alcohol included. The neurological changes in the brain that occur from substances, slowly eats away at the mind, body and soul. It's sad to see families and friends disconnect from their lo
Answered by Jeannie Cameron, LMHC
The Powerlessness of Living with an Active Alcoholic
Hi there and thank you for your question. My heart goes out to you and I wish that I had better news for you. The simple truth is that you're powerless and nothing you can do will prevent your husband from drinking. The risks that he's taking say a lot and they indicate that his disease is making hi
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Recovery is Not Easy on the Family
Only the beginning, hang on tight. Putting down the drink is the first step in recovery, but by no means does this alone help the mood swings, the confusion and the angry and frustrating outbursts of the individual in recovery. There is a book by Tian Dayton called, "Emotional Sobriety" that could h
Answered by Jeannie Cameron, LMHC
Drinking to Not Feel
Hi there! Most alcoholics dislike drinking alone for the simple reasons that it's lonely, depressing, and tends to increase awareness of how much they're drinking and how sad things are. Abandonment issues are common amongst alcoholics, but even more salient is the feeling of being apart from instea
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Alcoholics Wanting Someone to Drink with
Thank you for your question. I can't say I know what any particular person may be thinking. However it seems logical that an alcoholic person who wants his girlfriend to drink with him might want to legitimize his own drinking. He may be thinking that if his girlfriend drinks with him, then he isn't
Answered by Anna Deeds
Drinking to Not Feel
Hi there and thanks very much for your question! Short answer - alcoholics generally experience a full range of emotions but will often conceal many of the more vulnerable emotions (fear, sadness, disappointment, loneliness) and they will drink to numb these emotions. Depending upon the individual,
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Moving on with a Heavy Heart
Hi there ad thank you for your excellent question. Short answer - you're moving on to a better life and it's very likely that he will continue to decline and have less good stuff in his life. Your ex sounds like a manipulative man who did not take accountability for his failures in the relationship.
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Best Professional for the Job
Hi there and thank you for your excellent question. While you may lack some clarity on what the solutions are, you certainly do have a strong sense of what the consequences of your drinking are and the risks you're taking. You're describing binge drinking with an inability to stop once you've starte
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Using Dreams After Living a Nightmare
Hi there and thank you for your excellent question! Good news - what you're experiencing is completely natural and not a danger sign at all. I would encourage you to consider it an all too real reminder of what life is like when we return to using. Drunk dreams or using dreams are very common in rec
Answered by Jim LaPierre
How Long a Lifetime Do You Want?
You have apparently come to a cross-road in life. Your body may not be sufficiently producing Aldehyde Dehydrogenases, a group of enzymes that are necessary to break down and metabolize ethyl alcohol. Your symptoms are probably commensurate with your degree of dependence. Severe perspiration (hyperh
Answered by Dr. Mark Abrahams
Alcoholism Treatment without Insurance
Thank you for your question. I don't suggest your friend try to detox from alcohol without medical supervision. Alcohol detox can be dangerous. Your friend could have a seizure if she is drinking a lot and have severe withdrawal symptoms. Alcohol withdrawal is one of the worst forms of withdrawal. B
Answered by Anna Deeds
Opening a Sober Living Home
Thank you for your question. There currently isn't a license you need to open a sober living or recovery home in Pennsylvania. However, I did some research and found an article stating they are starting a certification process. According to the article, the certification won't be mandatory but you w
Answered by Anna Deeds
Career Suicide or D.O.A.?
Hey thanks for your question It's one I've heard a LOT. I get the whole hyper masculine work hard play hard bullshit I just know that's not how a mature man behaves. I appreciate your candor - I get it - having the club soda is career suicide. What you're asking me alternatively is how do you contro
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Twelve-Step Programs DO Work
Bill Wilson created the A.A. (and subsequently, N.A.) after undergoing four years of LSD psychotherapy. Initially, Bill W. wanted to use LSD as part of a step program, but the government was already restricting its use to limited research, and by 1966, it was made a Schedule 1 drug. So, unable to em
Answered by Dr. Mark Abrahams
Look Again at Your Own Words - Your Answer is Already There
I am referring to these words specifically: "I am supposed to be a very happy and funny drunk." This clause is like a compressed file, there is so much information in it that you have expressed, yet seem oblivious of. In the first place, you are disclosing your identity as a "drunk," and that alone
Answered by Dr. Mark Abrahams
Adult Child Concerned about Father
It is difficult to say if your father has another chance after 30 years of drinking. Sounds like his new health concern is motivating him to seek help. This is the first step in recovery, a willingness to seek help. Not knowing much else about your dad, I can't predict an outcome.....what I can pred
Answered by Jeannie Cameron, LMHC
Alcohol problem?
Thinking about drinking is a sign of obsession over alcohol. That is a sign of possibly being a problem drinker. Stopping at two consistently usually means you are not. The "safe drinking guidelines" suggest never more than two in a day and never more than 14 in a week. If a person cannot drink and
Answered by Jennifer Hamilton
not for you
When I looked the Ambien up it was quite clear that Ambien should not be taken by someone with a history of alcohol or drug misuse. You can use some herbal medicines perhaps like Valerian and Hops and Chamomile. Sometimes you can get Herbal remedies which have a number of herbs in them. You can go t
Answered by Jill Edwards
You Don't Need To Do Anything But Be Born And Die...
...Anything else is entirely your choice. If you haven't been getting blood drawn regularly every year or two as part of a regular medical check-up, then that has been largely your choice as well, although I don't know anything about your life including employment, finances, medical insurance, etc..
Answered by Dr. Mark Abrahams
Alcohol Withdrawal and Delerium Tremens
Thank you for your question. I'm sure it was a difficult experience going through alcohol withdrawal at home. The feeling you described of bugs crawling beneath your skin could have been delirium tremens or DTs. They are a severe form of alcohol withdrawal. They can include many symptoms such as hal
Answered by Anna Deeds
Alcoholic Dad
Thank you for your question. Unfortunately unless your father sees a doctor, there is no way to know why his behavior has changed. It could be due to the alcohol or a consequence of getting older. Either way, the alcohol is not doing him any good. But you are right that you cannot change your father
Answered by Anna Deeds