Adolescent Issues Q&A
10 experts · 78 questions answered
Latest Q&As
Uncertainty in diagnosis
Hi there and thank you for your question. There's a lot of missing info here so I'm guessing a bit First, does her counselor and med manager agree that they are treating the same conditions? Does she find meeting with the counselor helpful? (sometimes therapists are like shoes - you have to try a fe
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Cannabis Admiring Teen Distresses Parents
I feel for you. You are left with few choices. Soon he will be 18 and he will be able to make his choices without your interference. And marijuana is now legal for recreational use in a growing number of states. I would encourage you to let your son know your opinion, and be sure he has access to re
Answered by David Johnson
Connecting with a Teenager
While there could be more going on in your particular situation where it would be helpful to have someone sit down and help you talk, the situation you describe sounds quite normal and may not really have the conclusions that you have reached. Interacting with teenagers is different. It is tempting
Answered by Rev. Christopher Smith
Teens Know Everything
Dear Anonymous, In the mental health/substance abuse world, we typically use a response approach rather than preventative approach (similar to the medical model). One of the 'tests' we use is asking the question 'Does this thought/feeling/behavior get in the way of a major life domain such as social
Answered by Rob Danzman
Career V. Kids Safety?
Interesting dilemma. On the one hand, you have a career opportunity that provides either more income, job satisfaction, or a bit of both - basically, a move that would make you happy or more fulfilled. But, the environment for your children is substantially compromised and could expose them to behav
Answered by Rob Danzman
Early Entrepreneur?
Dear Powerless Parent, Though I do not know your son, I know teenagers in general and showing up with cash in that amount that frequently sounds suspicious. But as a therapist, I am less interested in discovering the truth or facts and more interested in developing rapport with him and providing a j
Answered by Rob Danzman
Your Baby Is Growing Up
There is a lot not represented in this question that could easily change how someone might answer it, so you will have to consider your own situation to make decisions about it. Let me address some of those aspects first. The first factor is that women (young and older alike) may begin taking birth
Answered by Rev. Christopher Smith
The Anxieties of a Child and Those of a Parent
It is difiuclt to be able to advise in your specific case, particularly as there are certain questions that are left open in what you describe. As such, I can only answer aout similar types of cases and encourage you to explore your particulars with someone in your are. At the beginning of your acco
Answered by Rev. Christopher Smith
He's high and I know it but I Can't Prove it
Anonymous, Thank you for submitting your question. In your scenario, there are many questions unanswered. Other things I would consider, before being sure I could provide a complete answer are: Has his behavior changed recently? Is he having problems in school? Is the "smug" attitude toward you a no
Answered by Milena Colyer
Fleeting Eating
Dear Anonymous, Unfortunately, your situation is not unique and is a very difficult one to deal with. Our agency spends a significant amount of time supporting families like yours since easting disorders are almost never just an individual issue. Hopefully, my responses to each of your questions bel
Answered by Rob Danzman
Dealing with an Adolescent's Introversion
A parent describes ongoing conflict trying to push their shy 14-year-old son into extracurricular activities he dislikes in favor of staying home on the computer, and asks whether to keep pushing or let it go.
Answered by Rev. Christopher Smith
A Fourteen Year Old Overweight Daughter
I'm impressed you've asked the question. Many parents muddle through this difficult topic without help and a wide range of outcomes. By the age of 14, your daughter is her own person. She has learned most every basic coping mechanism. She relies on you primarily for economic and emotional support. S
Answered by David Johnson
Daughter Impulsive Emotionally Dysregulated and Needs a Timely Assessment
I congratulate you on helping your daughter face her issues. I'm going to make the assumption that her social issues have less than severe consequences in that she is not about confined by authorities. If that were the case having her evaluated in an psychiatric emergency department would be the fir
Answered by David Johnson
Saving Your Teen
As a counselor, I cannot tell you what is ethical and what is not. You will have to weigh this course of action against your own values and decide whether they are in line. That is something I can help you do; I can't tell you what your values should be. Now, if you were asking whether this is devel
Answered by Rabbi Raffi Bilek
Self-Mutilation Can Continue for Decades
Until just recently, I spent 26 years working with adolescents in middle schools. I always have had groups where girls (primarily) have practiced self-mutilation. Usually scratching, slicing, piercing, but sometimes friction burns or in more severe cases, burning with hot or flaming objects. There i
Answered by Dr. Mark Abrahams
When Does Shy Become an Anxiety Disorder?
Your instincts are good! Doing things for a 12 year old who finds anxiety provoking sets up a learned dependency. It doesn't sound like that problem has reached beyond what could be normal shyness. Your daughter may be somewhat introverted. Estimates vary from 16 to 50% of the population that some p
Answered by David Johnson
Depression and Teens
Hello and thank you for your question. I'm sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time. As I'm sure you're aware, teenage years can be very difficult because as well as the hormonal changes, there are many other issues to navigate too. These might include identity issues which can occur partly
Answered by Rebecca Ashton
13-year-old sexual activity
Well, it really doesn’t appear that something is “wrong” with him for doing some sexual exploration. That, as you noted, is pretty normal. There are really a couple of different issues at hand here: - Consent: was this girl a willing or unwilling participant? (Note: this is NOT to be construed as le
Answered by Rabbi Raffi Bilek
Adolescent Dealing With Pain
As a parent we want to look at our children and see things going well. Parents do not want to see their child in pain. Parents do not want to see their child not being able to function. Parents do not want to see their child acting out. When a number of ways have already been pursued to address thes
Answered by Rev. Christopher Smith
Researching Drugs
Dear Anonymous Parent Tough situation you're in. Sounds like he's definitely into something. Our instinct as parents is to call them out and confront them with evidence. This provides them an opportunity to lie, avoid, deceive, and use any excuse they can think of despite the improbability. It will
Answered by Rob Danzman
Facebook; When is it too soon to start?
Social media has its uses, but it also has a dark side. It is an extremely easy way for anyone to attract whatever kind of attention that they want, but it also follows that it is just as easy, if not more so, to attract unwelcome attention too. While it's true that many people ignore the age restri
Answered by Rebecca Ashton
Blended Family Friction
Dear Dad, First of all, congratulation on your recent marriage. Marriage is challenging enough without the added demands brought on by a blended family. You and many other fathers and mothers are in a similar situation where families have diverged and then merged. Generally speaking, the best thing
Answered by Rob Danzman
Being Human as a Parent
Good parents want what is best for their children. However, even good parents say and do things that are not the best. It is impossible to always say just the right thing and do the right thing, particularly as your child becomes an adolescent and as they move on to become a young adult. So the firs
Answered by Rev. Christopher Smith
When to Worry
Kudos to you for being a concerned parent - I wish the world had more of those. Based on what you're telling me I would say there doesn't appear to be need for professional involvement. I'd encourage you to monitor his friends and talk with their parents about your concerns because huffing is indeed
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Problems in Adolescent Friend's CIrcles
Parents of adolescents are often concerned not only with their child's behaviors but also the behaviors of the friends of their child. The questioner is raising some for these very concerns. When the situation is not as open as this parent seems to believe things are, things are more difficult becau
Answered by Rev. Christopher Smith
Limiting a Child's Use of Technology
There is no magical number of the maximum amount of time a day that a child should be connected to technology devices. It is true that the recommendation used to be 2 hours daily (at least during the week) but individual circumstances should influence what you are considering. The first aspect to co
Answered by Rev. Christopher Smith
Mixed Up in Michigan
This is a tricky situation since you want your son to start accepting responsibility for himself, yet at the same time, his distractibility is making it very challenging for him to do this. 1. Get Buy-In From Your Son You want, and will need, your son to not only let you find help for him but he wil
Answered by Rob Danzman
Shy Child
There are several levels of concerns that this question points to. The first layer is how parents perceive what is going on in their children's life. Then there is the perspective of loneliness (which is actually much larger than an adolescent issue). Finally, there is the question of how to help a
Answered by Rev. Christopher Smith
Stealing
This sounds like there could be what we would call a compulsion. This is by no means a diagnosis. But until a full psychological evaluation by a licensed psychologist is conducted, we would just be guessing. Stealing is sometimes a behavior we use to get something we want. Sometimes we steal to get
Answered by Rob Danzman
Drug Supply to a Teenager
Please read my reply a couple (question dated November 1) to a similar question that was posed. When your child, like that of the person who asked this question, is a minor, you have an obligation to be looking out for your child's best interest and health. The difficulty around addictions is that a
Answered by Rev. Christopher Smith