Answered questions(16)
Dealing with an Adolescent's Introversion
My 14 year old son is not interested in extracurricular or community activities. He is shy and he would rather be at home playing on his computer. I know he does not enjoy these things but I think they are important so I try to force him to participate, which causes endless battling at home. Should I give up on this battle or is it worth persevering with?
Read answer →Ultimatums to Teens - A Word of Caution
Last night my 16 year old daughter wanted to go to a party on a school night. I said no and she said she was going to go anyway. When she was walking out the door I asked her to think about what she was doing, and that if she would not obey the rules she couldn't stay in this house. She said a few angry things and left and I told her if she left now to not come home. So last night she did not come home. I don't know what her plan is but I am worried about her out there on her own. But we have had a lot of discipline problems with her and if I don't carry out my threat then I think I will have no way to protect her from bad choices anymore. Additionally, having someone disrespect my wife and I in our own house is not really a situation I can tolerate. Is there any way for us to not ask her to leave and still get her to change her behaviors?
Read answer →She's Hurting Herself - Help
What does it mean if my friend burns herself with a cigarette lighter on purpose. She is 14 and I saw the burn scars and she made me promise not to tell her parents or any teachers.
Read answer →Problems in Adolescent Friend's CIrcles
My daughter is 14 one of her friend’s got pregnant this year. Another of her friends was arrested for shoplifting before Christmas. They both seemed like good responsible kids to me. If the kids in her group are obviously up to no good should I try to influence my daughter so she does not spend as much time with them? As far as I know she has done nothing seriously wrong but I am worried that she is going to get tagged as a ‘bad apple’ just by association. My daughter has been very open and upfront and has told me everything that is going on (I think) so on the other hand I do not want to ‘reward’ her honesty with something she would consider a punishment.
Read answer →Talking About a Loved One's Addiction With a Child
My daughter's father has a history of Rx drug addiction and has been in rehab for it. She was too young to know it at the time. It has come to my attention that he is using again. He has visitation rights, however I cannot let her go with him under these circumstances. How do you tell an 11 year old girl that her father is an addict and she cant see him again until he cleans up?
Read answer →Drug Supply to a Teenager
my son is doing marijuana and xanax but does not want to go to rehab is there anything i can do to help he is 15 and says he started with marijuana in Jan 2012 and has taken xanax 4 times {4 pills last night} he buys the pills from some man that lives close y should i report this man?
Read answer →Connecting with a Teenager
I need any advice on how to create a connection with my 16 year old son. I left him and his mother when he was just a baby. I was an alcoholic and actually she kicked me out, not that I made any effort to stay or to stay involved in his life. I sent birthday gifts but I missed some years. I have more than 2 years of non stop sobriety behind me now. Long story short my exwife wants my son to get to know me. She is really a wonderful and forgiving person and she wants us to have a relationship. I want it also. We went out to the park with her and it was OK and we even all laughing and joking but then I took him out for dinner alone the next weekend and it was so awkward and uncomfortable for both of us. He would not say anything but yes or no and I don’t know what to do. He obviously does not want to do this so should I force things?
Read answer →Adolescent Dealing With Pain
My daughter is 12. She has had a complex history of illness (too much to get into and it doesn’t matter anyway for this) which has left her now dealing with chronic pain. Last year she was heavily medicated but it left her sedated all the time. She just couldn’t function like a kid at all. So we decided that even though she was going to have more pain issues we had to get her off the morphine. Since the beginning of October she has been totally opiate free. So now she is dealing with a lot of pain and when it gets particularly bad she reacts by lashing out, especially at family members. She is a middle of three sisters and she will physically hit and pinch her sisters when she feels bad. They understand but they are also getting very tired of this. She is getting older. So far she has not had any problems at school (she comes home from school when she starts feeling pain) but we are at the end of our rope as a family. We can’t go on like this. We can’t let her hurt our other kids. We can’t put her under the medications again. Our doctor suggested counseling but she won’t go (she hates it) and when we forced her she just barely communicated in sessions so it did no good. There is no answer. What can we do?
Read answer →Being Human as a Parent
I was frustrated with my 11 year old daughter and I was just in a bad mood and at the end of my rope. She is a little heavy but she is healthy and active. She was pestering me to sleep over at her friend’s house and I had already said no and then I said something like all you’ll end up doing is eating chips and drinking coke all night and getting even fatter than you are already. I don’t have a clue why I said it but she burst into tears and ran to her room. I apologized but I don’t think I undid the damage. The last thing I want to do is make her feel self conscious about her weight. How do I undo the damage I did? I am the worst dad in America.
Read answer →The Anxieties of a Child and Those of a Parent
My son is 10 and he is very fearful and anxiety prone. He is popular and well liked at school so he hides his fears there but at home he still doesn’t want to go to his room upstairs unless someone will go with him and about 1 night a week he can’t sleep because he lays awake with worries that he has trouble articulating. They just seem to be this vague sense of unease. He is doing well in school and he is generally a happy child, other than this anxiety and fear he deals with. I have been reluctant to take him to a psychologist because I think that once I do he will no-doubt come away with a label and then he will be labeled as having some type of mental illness. Do you think that it is urgent, given his age and the fact that he is generally happy, that we tackle this now. Can you recommend a book or give some advice on how I can help overcome his worrying? He is very intelligent and he is looking for me to tell him how to not worry and I feel like I am failing him that I can’t.
Read answer →Limiting a Child's Use of Technology
How many hours a day should a 9 year old be allowed to use a computer and tablet and ps3 and watch TV etc. all combined? I had heard that the recommended limit was 2 hours per day and that if you were watching TV while looking at a tablet for 1 hour that counted as 2 hours. I am embarrassed to say that my kid spends a lot more than 1 hour a day watching TV and looking at her laptop. Is this old limit outdated or unrealistic? I don’t know anyone whose kids would only spend an hour a day of ‘screen time’ and everyone is always looking at the computer while they watch TV these days. What’s a sensible limit for a 9 year old today?
Read answer →Helping a Teen - Helping Yourself
My son is 17 and he is addicted to marijuana. We have tried counseling and family counseling and nothing changes his habits. He says he is trying but that he cannot quit. I am not sure if he is really trying or not. He smokes multiple times each day and I cannot control him to make him stop. He says he is willing to go to rehab. Is it appropriate for him to go to rehab just for marijuana? How long will it take for him to beat this addiction?
Read answer →Can I help an adolescent substance abuser?
My son is using marijuana and xanax but does not want to go to a rehab center. Is there anything i can do to help? He is 15 and said he started doing marijuana in January 2012 and has taking xanax 4 times (4 pills last night)...
Read answer →Your Baby Is Growing Up
My 13 year old daughter wants to go on the birth control pill. She talked to my ex wife about this. WTF am I supposed to do about this? Should she get some kind of therapy?
Read answer →Shy Child
My 14 year old daughter has no friends. She has a great heart but she is shy and she is a bit of a late bloomer. I try to encourage her to join clubs and after school activities but she does not want to. She is obviously lonely. I try to spend a lot of time with her but she does not open up to me about what is going on at school. It breaks my heart to see her in pain. I wish I knew how to help her? Please give me some advice!
Read answer →My Son Is Now a Teen - How Parenting Changes
I found out my son has been writing badly about us on facebook. For quite a while too. He uses bad language and says really terrible things about the way we treat him, which is not at all true. I feel really angry right now about the way he is treating us in such a public way. Obviously he is grounded from the computer. But when I take a step back and look at what he is saying I don’t even understand what is going on at all. How can he hate us this much? What am I supposed to do when my 13 year old son apparently hates me and I didn’t even know it? How are we supposed to be good parents to him now knowing how he sees us?
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