David Johnson
MSW, LICSW
Clinical Social Worker/Therapist
Champlin, USA
Answers questions in Adolescent Issues · Anger Management · Anxiety
About David Johnson
After 30 years of experience providing mental health services in various settings, I have discovered six key concepts to a healthy life. Let me show you how to live the kind of life many of us only dream about, a life of passion about what is important. Let me show you the way to live emotionally free, mindfully aware and totally centered with Full Impact Living!â
What I do
We only have one life to live. I think we'd all agree that we want to live a happy life, one that has meaning, and fulfills us. We want:
productive activity that challenges us, engages our skills and teaches us new ones, a life that is enriched by relationships and accomplishments with which we can be proud, a life without regrets or worries, to live our life fully, to maximize our potential, to produce a legacy that benefits those that will survive us and we can look back on with pride. And we want to do all this while feeling healthy and safe.
How many of us succeed? That's hard to say. We all know people who claim to have a life like this, and we certainly know people who will recount their regrets on request.
You might notice that having it all, all the time, may be impossible. Some of us might conjure up some old sayings like:
"You can't have your cake and eat it too."
"You can't always get what you want."
But how to do we make sure we get what we need when we need it most?
Its a tall order indeed. Self-help is a huge industry. Every author seems to think they have at least some answers to this question.
Full Impact Livingâ is my life philosophy based on psychological concepts, research and my experience in providing treatment. It has evolved over more than 30 years of clinical practice successfully helping people with some of the most difficult to treat mental health disorders:
Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Bipolar Affective Disorder
Schizophrenia
Full Impact Livingâ is based on the latest psychological research and cutting edge evidence-based treatment approaches such as:
Emotion Focused Therapy,
Dialectical Behavior Therapy,
Cognitive Behavior Therapy,
Interpersonal Therapy,
Psychodynamic Therapy
It incorporates the important concepts in self-help psychology such as:
Recovery
Wellness
Optimism
Flow
Mindfulness
Full Impact Livingâ is based on six key concepts, fundamental principles of personal development. Many of you will recognize these as common sense. But the funny thing about "common sense" is how uncommon the knowledge of the means to acquire it is, when you don't have it.
The Key Concepts are Mindfulness, Self-Awareness, Self-knowledge, Experience, Focus, and Balance. Each principle is define on my website: www.davemsw.com
My story
After 30 years of experience providing mental health services in various settings, I have discovered six key concepts to a healthy life. Let me show you how to live the kind of life many of us only dream about, a life of passion about what is important. Let me show you the way to live emotionally free, mindfully aware and totally centered with Full Impact Living!â
Why life is worth living
"I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of light. But light -- truth, understanding, knowledge -- is there, and it will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it." - Alexander Papaderosby
Treatment Offered
Specialties
Therapy approaches
Patient population
Modalities
Articles(3)
How to Break a Bad Habit, Like Cigarette Smoking
Learn more about what maintains your bad habits, how to prepare for change and how to cope with changes to your life-routines.
Read article →Teaching Ourselves and Our Children Not to Bully
Bullying can dramatically change life's course. It's a pervasive cultural problem. We must teach ourselves and our children not to bully.
Read article →Anger Does Not Demonstrate Parenting Authority
Anger has no place in discipline. It does not assert authority nor does it ensure that you've been heard. Learn better ways to communicate with your children.
Read article →
Answered Questions(68)
Cannabis Admiring Teen Distresses Parents
Our 17 year old may have tried marijuana once. But he seems to be very interested in it. He's for instance googling on what campuses have a "good weed scene". He's chatting with others and expresses admiration for older kids who are able to party with marijuana. We have talked to him about the dangers of marijuana on the teenage brain, discussed the recent book (from UPenn Neuro chair) on it. But nothing seems to have diminished his interest. What should we do? He won't listen to us parents.
Read answer →What to do about long waits for appointments
What are you supposed to do when you are in a mental health crisis and you are told that you cannot possibly get an appointment to see a psychiatrist for 9 weeks. Can I just go to a hospital and tell them, in the ER that I feel like killing myself even if I really don’t just so they will be forced to take me on a psychiatric hold so I can get some help today? My issues are PTSD with disassociation.
Read answer →Interview Anxiety
I am a hugely qualified candidate that is 2 years out of a Master’s degree program and I am still unemployed. The reason: I freeze up with anxiety in interviews. At the worst this has led me to cut-short an interview because I think I was having a panic attack but normally I just freeze up mentally so when they ask questions, even about subjects I am incredibly knowledgeable about, I can’t think of a thing to say and come off looking like an idiot. Unfortunately, I do not get better at interviews with practice… like everyone keeps telling me I will. If anything, it is the opposite. The more I mess up in interviews the more sure I am that I will mess up when going into a new interview and so I walk in feeling already pessimistic and anxious. Here’s the weird thing…I am not an anxious person in other areas of my life. A friend suggested toast masters as a way to relieve my problem and I tried it and had no issue with it, because I am fine with public speaking …it is only this one narrowly defined situation that causes me problems. What do you suggest I do to reverse this?
Read answer →Night Terrors
This month I started waking up in the middle of the night with cold sweats and pounding heartbeat and every time I wake up I feel like I am dying and I can’t even think because I am so afraid. It takes my wife a few minutes to reach through to me before I can hear her talking to me. Are these panic attacks? I am under a lot of stress right now. They are horrible beyond any words I can think of to describe how they feel.
Read answer →Overwhelming Sound is Not Good for You
I own a quick service meal-salad kiosk that opened a second location in a subway station. I am there 12 hours a day and the noise level at peak times is overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like I can’t take it anymore. Like it is actually driving me crazy. I just feel frantic and an edge all the time. I never felt so affected by noise before so it is not something I ever considered before launching the venture. It takes me hours to calm down after a day off jangled nerves. How worried should I be about this feeling I am having? I am not in a position where I can make any changes financially.
Read answer →A Fourteen Year Old Overweight Daughter
My daughter is 14 and she is overweight. It breaks my heart to see her struggle with this and I know it affects her deeply. I have tried to model healthy eating and no one else in the family is overweight so I do not really understand where it comes from other than the fact that even from a young age she always liked reading and coloring and watching movies more than she liked sports or playing outside. I am trying to help her lose weight. Sometimes she seems to be on board with what I am trying to do for her but about half the time she is resistant and she will purposefully eat more junk food right in front of me just to provoke me. I am not pressuring her and we are only talking about healthy exercise habits and nutrition. I am intentionally not talking about calories or looks. Although sometimes it feels like there is a big pink elephant in the room when I omit these subjects from the discussion. How can I help her without having her turn this into a power struggle where she uses food and her health against me – and by definition, against herself as well?
Read answer →Daughter Impulsive Emotionally Dysregulated and Needs a Timely Assessment
My daughter has very poor impulse control. I believe that her impulse control is not developmentally appropriate and her inability to reign in her emotions causes her constant social problems. She is 17. I have talked to her about whether she would want to work with a professional and she says that she does. She is frustrated by her problems and says she wants to try to be better. This is a major breakthrough so I want to capitalize on her willingness right away. What type of therapist should I seek out for her? How long should it take for her to get some benefit?
Read answer →Retired Mom Likes the Computer
My retired mother is on her computer from morning until night. It is her whole life and she rarely goes out to see real people any longer. I would estimate that she is on the computer for 12 hours per day. She is 67. She does not agree that she has any problem. I have three questions. One – how worried should I be about this (how much will this affect her mental and physical health?) Two – what is a safe or reasonable amount of time to spend on a computer each day (for a retired person?) Three – what can I do to convince her to make changes if she is happy as she is?
Read answer →Depressed Daughter Doesn't Listen to Mom
I am very worried about my 34 year old daughter. She is extremely depressed, but every time I offer help or suggest counseling, she ignores the subject. She lives two hours from me, is separated with two pre-teen children. She tells me she is very unhappy with her life, hates where she lives and cries every night. She says she is miserable and is tired of crying and being unhappy. I have suggested couseling, many times, and suggested medication. I've even told her to pack everything up and come live nearer to me so I could help. Yet, she does nothing, week after week. She'll have a breakdown and tell me these things, and then carry on going to work, etc. until the next time. I don't know how to help her. She has even told me about just leaving the area, alone, going somewhere and starting over. I know that is not the answer, it's just running away and I fear that in the future she will regret leaving her children. I think she is just overwhelmed. Is there anything I could do or should be saying to help her?
Read answer →Recovery from the Trauma of Bullying
Dear Mr. Johnson: I was bullied for over 3+ years after we got a new supervisor. After the supervisor was hired, 5 employees before me quit because they knew what was coming. I tried my best to stop this. I went higher up and attended a Grievance Meeting, which was no help, and at the end of the meeting, I was accused of false incidents. I finally filed with the EEOC/ERD. I had to get an attorney. This woke up upper management. Eventually, upper management stuck together, and I was terminated. The company I worked for had their own attorney who then tried to stop me from getting unemployment (2 hearings). I am considered protected class, which my supervisor knew and the supervisor before her (who was very nice). They even made accommodations without my consent, which would have made my protected class symptoms worse. They never included me in these accommodations and called themselves "The Team". I am glad to be out but the stress of this all has changed me. I stopped the EEOC/ERD case because it was actually making me worse (having to continually go over the past). I lost a great job that I loved and had for almost 24 years. Of course, there is no bullying law, and there was probably nothing to come of the EEOC/ERD case. After I told my attorney and the EEOC/ERD investigator I quit, the investigator still wants me to answer 12 questions to close this up (the ERD end of the case). I will be glad for this to be over after I finish the questions. I still try to fight for the Healthy Workplace Bill becoming a law. I am getting help from Job Service through Vocational Rehab. It is hard for me to think about working again - I am 55 and just want to stop. I have worked since I was 16. Unfortunately, I was told I do not qualify for disability. I did win the unemployment hearing. This whole thing has sucked everything from me. We have no insurance, less money, were able to get heat assistance, and I had to cash in my 401K. I am trying so hard to downsize. Do not buy clothes unless from a thrift shop, use coupons. I have to pay cash to see my Psychiatrist and pay cash for medications. It will take a while for me to get myself back to my old self. I snap at my husband. I feel crabby often. I sleep poorly. I am seeing a counselor (you pay what you can afford). At this age in my life, I cannot believe what this bullying did to me. One thing I wondered, isn't bullying like harassment? If you say "bully" it doesn't go too far. I did feel some peace when I quit the EEOC/ERD case, but still do not feel complete. Feel like I am in a box and cannot get out yet. I was always well liked and funny at work - now co-workers ignore me. It is so upsetting. My counselor said I am like a sponge and take on too many feelings of others too. I have too much empathy (which I believe is good). I love to see others happy, just too bad there are those out there who love to see people unhappy and enjoy watching them suffer. My counselor now is a Nun and she is doing a pretty good job. Do you have any other suggestions? I am worried about my marriage because I take it out on my husband. Sometimes I do not like him for not understanding me more. He is strong-minded and like a duck, where the problems roll off of him. Thanks for reading this.
Read answer →Multiple Family Problems Can't Be Solved By Asking Questions Online
Hello, I have a daughter and I just found out from my wife (we are divorced and my daughter still lives with her mother) that she has been acting bad. She is chasing after boys especially ones with a bad reputation and she has been dressing promiscuously. She is talking back to her mother or anyone with authority. Which I do not understand because she is 27. She is smoking and drinking, still going clubbing. Why is she so bad? My wife told me that she is sneaking boys to the house when her mother is gone out of town or throwing parties when her mom works late. What is worse is when I told my son of her unruly behavior he laughed and encouraged it. My wife took her phone and found all these songs about sex and drugs- which my daughter pays for and took her make up and so my daughter stole money from my wife to get all new make up. My wife is upset and wants me to do something about it. Why is so she bad?? And what can I do?
Read answer →Diagnosis Is Not Real, It's a Theoretical Model
Hello, My son was seen by a therapist and she diagnosed him with Borderline Personality Disability. Would this be the reason he cannot stand being around lots of people? He gets tired and overwhelmed by groups of people or being in a restaurant. I am curious if this is part of Borderline Personality-yet he doesn't want to be alone. With him two's a company three's a crowd. And when he feels happy or low, man do his reactions get intense. I'm still worried about the social part of it. He just won't do groups- even if it's family, he'll come but he dreads it and complains it's almost as if he's not there. He's just someone looking in. Thanks. Steve
Read answer →Does Attraction Make a Racist?
If I find people of other ethnic groups very physically unattractive does this mean I am a racist if I don’t let this distaste affect my behaviors?
Read answer →When Does Shy Become an Anxiety Disorder?
My daughter is very shy. She is 12. As an example she does not like to talk to strangers or order her own food in a restaurant. She begs me to order for her and she gets really upset if I try to make her do herself. Her teacher says she is shy but OK in school and has friends so the problem is mostly with adult strangers. Does this sound like an anxiety disease? Should she see a psychologist for this or should we just keep encouraging her to take baby steps. I think we have not been proactive enough because it has always been easier and less distressing for everyone involved to just do things for her so she wouldn’t have to talk to strangers. Now she is getting to an age where this is becoming a problem.
Read answer →Movies That Respect Mental Illness
I want the people I meet (some of them) to understand anxiety. I am sick of people telling me to ‘just relaox’ or try getting a massage or taking the day off to distress. I know they mean well but people really are clueless about what it is like. The problem is every movie or show that I have ever seen that shows mental illness seems to make a joke out of it, or the main character can get better and happy by the end just because someone loves her or something. Do you know of any movies or shows that accurately portray mental illness. I wish there was one that I could just tell people to watch so they would get it.
Read answer →A Good Night's Sleep
For good mental health does it matter what hours you sleep in a day or just how many hours you sleep in a day. What I mean, is it better to say sleep from 10 at night to 6 in the morning than to sleep from 3 in the morning to 11 in the morning?
Read answer →Diagnosis Requires Extensive Information in a Face To Face Interview.
Hello, You did mention that it could be a possible mental condition or head injury??? He never experienced a head injury or concussion incident, but I am curious as to what mental condition it could be??? He refuses to find out, although he is improving a bit by trying to find a job. Thanks, Stephen.
Read answer →Anxiety Can Be Conquered
I cannot pee in a urinal. I can be naked at the gym and be OK with it but if I am at a urinal and another person comes up I just pretend I am done and wait until the person leaves and go back to try again. This is embarrassing. I know this is not totally uncommon but I am not really comfortable discussing this with my friends. How do I overcome this problem?
Read answer →Dealing with an Angry Adult Son
My name is Stephen Nelson and I have a son who is moody and has a horrible, horrible temper. He denies this. I am just wondering what this could indicate He's had a pretty good life. I just dont understand why he's so moody with a temper. He's 33. I've tried everything with him so has his mother. We're at a loss....he just got out of prison for a weapon and violating his parole btw. I suspect something mental. Thanks for writing back.
Read answer →Angry Son
My name is Stephen Nelson and I have a son who is moody and has a horrible, horrible temper. He denies this. I am just wondering what this could indicate.. Thanks, Steve.
Read answer →Goal Achieved, Motivation Lost
I am a chef. My work was my whole life. It was my passion and my creative outlet and my everything. I have done very well professionally because 15 hour days were never a chore, they were a pleasure that I would have done for free. Now I am a chef co-owner of a 6 month old restaurant. It has taken me 15 years of very hard work to get here. This is my dream come true. But all of a sudden, now that I have everything I have always wanted, my passion has just evaporated. I have no creative ideas no energy and I feel like everything I make is just a second rate copy of what better chefs are doing. Needless to say, the timing of this life-crash kind of sucks for me and I don’t know if this is just a temporary stress crash or a permanent loss of inspiration. Do you have any ideas for how I can re-stoke my creativity and passion? I am desperate but lost.
Read answer →Sweet Daughter Always Bullied
My daughter has a problem with other kids picking on her. She is very sensitive and cries easily. She just always seems to be the kid in the class that gets bullied and picked on. We have moved three times in the past 6 years so it’s always new kids and a new class but the same old problems. She is in a small and pretty well controlled private middle school right now but next year she’ll be joining the local high school, which has almost 3000 students and has a rough element to it. I am very worried about how she will handle this transition. I wish the world were a nicer place but for now I want to change what I can change, and that is maybe my daughter’s behavior. She is a late bloomer and she is not interested in clothes or boys and this makes it hard for her to relate with the other girls, who all seem to be boy crazy and obsessed with their looks. How can I ‘toughen her up’ so she won’t have such problems getting picked on without harming her self esteem or messing with her sweet natured personality?
Read answer →Stressed Out? Don't Wait to Get Help.
My new job is basically an accounts management position. There is a lot of responsibility and stress. Ever since I was promoted 8 months ago I have felt a lot of stress and anxiety all the time. I thought it would get better as I got into the position but it hasn’t, though I have become adept at my new responsibilities. As I understand it, anxiety is unreasonable fear and worry and stress is worry that is proportional to a situation. My worries are proportional to my responsibilities but when my stomach is in twists at night it feels a lot more like anxiety. As I understand it if it is constant anxiety I need medication or therapy but if it is just too much stress I need to focus on eliminating stress right? I think it is stress but I am not sure because if it is just stress why has the way I feel not changed even though I have become much better at my job? Should I see a psychologist?
Read answer →Catching the Anger Before it Spills Out On Your Children
I am kind of a quick tempered person. I have two children, a boy who is 6 and a girl who is 4. I was always scared of my dad who was the family disciplinarian and I never wanted to walk in his footsteps with my own children but I can see that they are scared of me because I am quick to get angry and, as my wife will always tell me, what is worst is that my anger is unpredictable and seems to come out of nowhere. I often feel regret after yelling at my children for being too harsh but regret’s not very helpful since I can’t stop at the heat of the moment. I do not use corporal punishment at least. I am willing to change but not sure how to start. I want a happy family not a scared and dysfunctional one.
Read answer →Arachnophobia Needn't Affect Your Children
I have a strong phobia of spiders and bugs. If one lands on me I will scream and panic….(I bug out! Haha…that’s my fallback phobia joke) I have 2 young children and I am clearly teaching them that bugs that a normal person would not consider dangerous are things to be deeply afraid of. I have given up hope of ever living normally with insects but I do not want to pass my problem on to my children. The challenge is that even though I say flies or beetles are not dangerous the way I react when I see one in the house teaches them the exact opposite. They are too young to understand phobias (they are 3 and 5). How can I safeguard them?
Read answer →Bullies Kids Parents Protect
My neighbors children are bullies. They tease my two children and have even threatened to beat them up. I have tried talking to their parents but they are not willing to see the problem for what it is and things have escalated to the point where we do not have a friendly relationship any longer. I have no real leverage to get them to change their ways and they are not interested to make their children stop the verbal abuse. I have told them if their kids ever touch my kids I will call the police but what can I do about them yelling names through the fence? It is very distressing for my children to not feel safe and comfortable in their own back yard. I feel like a failure that I cannot protect them from this in their own home but I am not sure what to do? Any ideas you have would be very welcome!
Read answer →Scaring Yourself with Worry
I started to feel really stressed out a couple of weeks before Christmas. I get really anxious about spending time with my family. I got through it Ok but I still feel really stressed and worried all the time. I feel like I am scared of something all the time but I don’t know what I am scared is going to happen. Should I be worried that this feeling is not going away even though I am back in my own place again now?
Read answer →Bullied as Child Finds Himself Accused of Bullying at Work
I was bullied for being overweight when I was in middle school and I also lived with a lot of emotional abuse and teasing at home from my mother my entire life so anyway I know how badly being bullied feels. I am a supervisor of 28 people in a call center environment. I just had an HR review meeting because of accusations from more than one person that I was bullying my staff. I am shocked. I do not consider myself a bully but I am very quick to get angry when people fail to meet my expectations and I take meeting performance goals very seriously. Obviously I need to change my management style but I get so angry when people slack off or screw up and I don’t know how to keep that hidden. How can I learn to repress my anger?
Read answer →Mad Dad Punches Coach
Today my kids basketball coach played the starters all game, even when they were down by 12 in the fourth. My boy is 8 and he lives to play and it just crushed me to see him wanting to play so bad and that d*ck coach just playing starters. 8 year olds. So I went down to ask him to play my son but something happened between the bleachers and the sidelines and by the time I got there I was raging and I just punched him. Now we’re kicked out of the league. I wanted my kid to play and now he can’t play all year. What kind of dad am I. Sh*t like this has been happening to me my whole life. I mean well but f**k it up. My exwife says I am an a**hole and I guess she is right. I don’t want to be an a**hole dad. What do I do?
Read answer →Mom and 15yo Daughter Suspicious and Distrustful, Always Fighting
I don’t really have extra money for counseling but I have a problem with my 15 year old daughter. She lies to me so much and I am always lecturing her for something she did wrong. It feels like even when one of us tries to say something nicely the other person is suspicious and acts bitchy or distrustful and it just goes downhill. We cant even have a nice conversation any more. I miss my daughter we used to be very close and now I don’t know how to get things back so we can laugh and have fun together like we used to.
Read answer →Does Having ADD Lower Responsibility?
For a teen with ADD how do you deal with rule breaking? My son is 15 and he has ADD that was recently diagnosed and I know that this limits his ability to make good choices and he is prone to make stupid impulsive decisions. Last night he snuck out of the house and he and his friend drove the family car around, neither had a license, just for fun and just because his friend called him up late and asked him to do it. He knows now that it was a stupid and dangerous thing to do but at the moment he just does it without thinking it through. Do I punish him as severely as I would punish any of his siblings for the same offense or do I take it a little easier on him because of his diminished capacities? He is my youngest of 5 and I thought I knew how to parent adolescents but he is challenging.
Read answer →Should A Daughter Be Asked to Keep An Adult Secret?
I have a drinking problem and when I get drunk I tend to do stupid stuff. I am not sure if I am an alcoholic but I have come to a point where I can’t let myself act stupid and get in trouble when drunk any longer. I am going to try to stop and if I cannot I am going to go to AA. My current issue is that last night my 13 year old daughter saw me drunk and making out in a parked car with a woman I know from the bar. I would never have done it if I was sober because I love my wife but when I am drunk I sometimes slip up. My daughter said she won’t tell her mom but I feel like such a horrible father for putting her in this position. And it also hurts the way she looks at me now. Is it going to be damaging to her to ask her to keep this secret for me?
Read answer →Mom Needs to Go to a Nursing Home
Is an intervention the right thing to do to help a parent see that she needs to get into a nursing home? My mom has dementia and she is starting to be a danger to herself and to her neighbors. I am not sure if I could get her declared incompetent or whatever but I don’t want it to come to this if it doesn’t have to. Everyone in the family agrees that she needs to be in a safer place and everyone has stories to tell of her dementia. I am just not sure if it will be overwhelming for her because of her disease. She is still able to carry on a conversation but she repeats herself constantly.
Read answer →Disrespectful Daughter
If my daughter won’t respect my authority or the rules of the house, what can I do? She is 16 and she is not really doing anything that bad. I don’t think she drinks or does drugs or anything like that. I think she is sexually active and she has a boyfriend but I know this is ‘normal’ at her age these days. The problem is when she wants to go out she will just go, even if I tell her not to. She just basically laughs at my authority. The only thing I can think of to do is to send her to live with her grandmother. But my wife’s mother lives in an area that is rife with drugs and the school in that area is very poor/dangerous. I feel like that punishment is too harsh to put her into that situation but I am at a loss to think of another better option. We cannot afford a boarding school. Is there anything else I can do, other than just letting her do as she pleases, which is not an option my wife or I am willing to live with.
Read answer →A Lying 14yo Daughter
My 14 year old daughter lies all the time, even for things that do not require her to lie at all. Like I will ask what she had for lunch and she will say a sandwich and then I will see the burrito package in the garbage...why bother to lie about something like that for no reason? I would say that about half of the things she says to me are lies. I am not joking. I do not know how to stop her and she can’t or won’t tell me why she lies all the time. She just says she doesn’t know why. It is not only at home either. She gets in trouble at school for her lying as well. I am worried that this is a sign of something bigger that is going wrong with her. Is this kind of lying a symptom of some sort of mental problem? Does she need to see a therapist?
Read answer →Learn emotional intelligence.
Can emotional intelligence skills be learned? If so, how can I learn them? I am an intellectually gifted man with an abysmal social life who would like to make some changes for the better.
Read answer →Haunted By Shame
I am feeling a lot of shame about stuff from the past. It haunts me. Sometimes I am ashamed of something I did and sometimes it is more like I am embarrassed about how I acted and feel shame about what other people think about me. I used to drink a lot so I had ample opportunities to make an ass of myself. This shame is doing me no good, it’s like heavy baggage just sucking me down and it still hurts when I think back on it. But it never fails, whenever I wake up in the night or whenever I am out driving or whenever my mind is just drifting I always end up dwelling in shame from the past. How can I let it go so that it doesn’t haunt me all the time?
Read answer →A Drug Dealing Dad
My dad is always drunk and he uses a lot of drugs. Now he sells drugs in our house. I hate him so much but my mom won't kick him out and now I think she is using drugs also. If I call the police and tell them where he keeps his drugs will he go to jail and will he know that I told on him or can that be a secret. I am scared that if I call my mom will get in trouble also.
Read answer →Bullied at Work
I work as a waiter and I have a problem with one of the cooks who works the pass. He is constantly bullying me and harassing me verbally. He will also make sure to send out my food behind other tables so that I have problems with the diners and make less tips/look bad to management. I have talked to the chef about the problems I am experiencing but he did not take them seriously. In this place, the chef’s word is pretty much the end of the story so taking it to the GM makes little sense and might backfire on me. My coworkers agree with me that he is abusive but no one wants to stand up to this guy either. I make good money at this job and don’t want to leave, but he is making my life very difficult. I am Asian and he seems to hate me because of this for some reason. I have a friend who told me he would scare the guy off for me. This seems very childish to me but I am not sure what else to do. Is a workplace bully likely to back off if he gets warned off by a bunch of scary and tough guys or am I just going to make things worse?
Read answer →Is My Son Gay?
I am pretty sure my son is Gay but he has not come out to anyone. I found some magazines in his room that are pretty conclusive. I am not surprised as I had been wondering for a while if he maybe was. I did not tell him what I found. Now that I know should I bring up the subject with him or should I let him work through this at his own speed without pressuring him. It is not a big issue with me and I think that he knows I will be supportive, but he is probably worried about everyone else in his life. He is 16, by the way.
Read answer →Do Quick Fixes Work?
Would you recommend EFT? I have problems with anxiety and phobias and I often self medicated with alcohol and valium as a way to deal with my anxiety. I am interested in the way EFT seems to cure people of their anxieties quite quickly because I have not had much luck with CBT. It sounds a little weird though and I am not sure if I should take it seriously or not.
Read answer →Scaring Yourself with Your Fear
My wife started having panic attacks last year and now she only feels OK outside of the house when she is with me and right close next to me. This is hard for both of us since she doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything without me and because I work long hours and it can be very tiring to have to do everything with her after work. How can she get a little more confidence back so she can start going off on her own again?
Read answer →A Violent Teenager
My daughter has anger issue and has been abusive to me. She is in the behavior hospital for chocking me. Should I have her sent to a program. This is the second time she has asaulted me, she is 14 years old and has bipolar.
Read answer →Anxiety is Scary
I have GAD, panic disorder and now, to really make my life great, I’ve developed Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). I am living with constant bloating and pain and there are so many things that I eat that leave me running to the toilet for hours after. I feel like a prisoner here at home because whenever I go out my urgent need to use the toilet seems to get worse and it’s really stressful and it really doesn’t help with my anxiety or panic to get those cramps and feel my heart quicken and know that I am about to soil myself. The only way I knew how to deal with my anxiety was to try to relax through deep breathing exercises and to remind myself that my anxiety was false response to a non-dangerous threat. With my crazy diarrhea deep breathing exercises are a joke and the ‘threat’ of embarrassing myself in public is unfortunately all too real. I feel trapped in a circle here. How can I manage and live with IBS without triggering anxiety?
Read answer →Is Dream Interpretation Real?
Is dream interpretation a real thing? My wife has been going to therapy and she always comes back to me and tells me about the dreams she has been having and how her therapist is helping her to interpret their hidden meanings. I am trying to be supportive but I can’t help but wonder about this. I mean it sounds a little hocus pocus to me. I do not want to question something if she feels it is working for her but I do not want her to be taken advantage of either by someone who is not really able to help her. So what I would like to know is is dream interpretation in therapy a real thing and can it actually help her?
Read answer →A Scary Neighbor
My next door neighbor is a bully. He moved in with his wife and kids about a year ago and since he has been there I have never really felt at peace in my own home. He calls me insulting names, he has trained his dogs to bark and lunge at me and my wife. He leers at my wife and will sit in his yard and stare at her when she is working in the garden. He ties his dogs up some nights right at the fence that is under our bedroom window just so they will bark all night and annoy us. He has made not so veiled threats against what he would do to people who give him problems. He will take his guns out and clean them while staring at us across the fence. If we leave our curtains open he will use binoculars and watch us inside our house. I could go on and on. I am not a big or a violent man. I am in my 50s and he is quite a large and aggressive man in his early 30s. I have no doubt who would prevail in any sort of fight – and I think he would really enjoy beating me if he could. I really think he is a sociopath. I would like to have him arrested because I think the sum total of what he is doing is definitely some sort of illegal harassment but he is smart enough I guess to never do any one thing that is overtly illegal or something I can prove he did (Our cat went missing and I know he did something to them but I can’t prove it). I am at the end of my rope. I do not want to have to sell because the market is very bad and we would lose a ton of money. But other than selling out I am not sure what to do? Is there anything I can do to get this guy to leave us alone?
Read answer →Fifteen Year Old Drug Abusing Son Defies All Boundaries
My 15 year old son drinks, does drugs, does not go to school and basically won’t listen to anything I say as he tries to live some sort of gangster lifestyle. This morning I saw that he had a new tattoo on his neck that said motherfu…..r and I just lost it and I told him to get out. I have not been a perfect mom but I have done my best and I think that now by giving him a free place to stay while he gets high every day I am doing him no favors. Am I allowed by law in New Jersey to kick him out of the house before he is 16? I just don’t think I can do this with him anymore. Or should I just call the police on him when he leaves his weed laying around in his room and ask them to deal with him? He is so bold he lights up in front of me and his brothers now and what can we even do about it?
Read answer →When does teasing become harassment?
I have a Psychology seminar teacher that is really picking on me. I think she is bullying me and no one else in the class is brave enough to stand up against her on my behalf, so they all sort of laugh or just stay silent when she teases and picks on me. I don’t know what I ever did to her, but I swear if I give the exact same answer as any other student in the class, mine will get ripped apart while anyone else’s will get reasonable consideration. She has criticized my outfits, such as when I came to class in a sweat suit and she pondered out loud to the class whether or not we might want to agree on some minimum standards of dress, and so when I tried to dress really respectfully the next class she kept calling me Barbra Bush and making jokes about my membership in the young republicans club. She jokes as if we are all having fun together as a class, but I am not and she doesn’t direct her jokes at anyone but me. It is hard to put into words exactly what she does, and I think she is smart enough to know what lines she can and cannot cross – so there is very little that I think I can do to make a formal protest against her. I have spoken with other students in my class and they agree that she is very unfair to me. I have tried speaking to her about the way she treats me but she just blew me off as if what I was saying was totally ridiculous, and I think that speaking to her actually made things worse. What can I do to get her to back off? I have her for the rest of the year and I need this course? Thankfully the exam was multiple choice, or I am sure she would have taken me down on marks as well.
Read answer →Body Building as a Lifestyle
For my brother, the most important thing in the world is having big muscles and a good body. And he is totally huge. He doesn’t compete or anything, he just wants to look good. I think he has gone beyond good and is starting to look weird, but I will concede that this is a matter of personal perspective but I am a little bit worried about how his gym needs have taken over his life. I know that he has uses steroids and growth. I give him a hard time about it but he says they’re not that harmful anymore and that he doesn’t drink or smoke like I do so why should I get to lecture him? He has a chemistry degree and could get a great job but instead he delivers pizzas and still lives at home so he can spend all day everyday in the gym. He is totally rigid about what he will and won’t eat and most of what he eats seems to come as powders out supplement vats. It’s like working out and looking ‘good’ is the only thing that matters to him anymore …He used to have lots of friends, and now he doesn’t. He used to have a girlfriend and now he hasn’t for a couple of years… Am I wrong to think that something is wrong with the way he is living? My parents say that if it makes him happy then I shouldn’t worry about it. But I think there is something sick about the way he is living. It’s like muscles are his drug of choice and he has lost control over himself. I want to get him out of the gym and I want him to be like the person he used to be. Can I have an intervention or something? No one else seems to get that there is something really wrong here like I do?!!!
Read answer →Rumors among friends, to tell or not.
We have been family friends with our neighbors who I will call the smiths (not their real names) for more than 20 years. They are lovely people. Our daughters were born one year apart and were best friends for a lot of years in early childhood. Once they got into middle school and high school the grade difference got big and they drifted apart and now very rarely socialize anymore. I think they also turned into slightly different people along the way. Well then, my daughter came home from a high school party last night and told me a very disturbing story about her old friend. Apparently, the girl (who is now 16) was drunk at the party and was exchanging sexual favors for alcohol and drugs. I asked my daughter if she was sure it was true and she said that she was. She said the girl was pretty wild and drank a lot but she had never seen her do anything like this before. She said she overheard the girl ‘make a deal’ with a group of boys before going into a bedroom with them. I am shocked and saddened by this. I remember her as this sweet little red headed girl at my kitchen table. But now I don’t know what to do. Should I tell her parents what I learned? How could I tell them in a way that wouldn’t hurt them irreparably? I also worry about being ‘the messenger’ for such tidings. This may seem selfish, but I do not want to damage our friendly relationship either. Should I tell our pastor and ask him to speak with them? I do not want to spread this any further around than need be, of course.
Read answer →How much is too much worry?
How do I know if my anxiety is normal or not? I have always been a person who thinks a lot about things and it is rare that I don’t lie awake for a while most nights worrying about something or other. This is just always the way I have been, since I have been an adult anyway. A friend recently suggested that my worrying wasn’t normal and that I should consider seeing someone about it. It really surprised e to hear her say this as I had never really considered the possibility that I might be mentally ill. So is how I am normal or abnormal – and how can I tell the difference between the two?
Read answer →Suspicions of a 13 year old's drug use
I am worried that my 13 year old daughter is smoking marijuana and may be using other drugs as well. We have been having a very difficult relationship for the last year or so and our house feels like a constant battleground. I was going through her bag to look for a school letter last night and I found some rolling papers. She says they are from her friend who uses them to smoke hand rolled cigarettes but forgot them in her bag when they went to the mall yesterday. I find this a little hard to believe but I guess it is possible. Last year I would have believed my daughter, but she has changed so much over the last year that I no longer really do. My daughter was furious that I looked through her bag. I guess like I don’t believe that she is telling me the truth she doesn’t believe that I had no intentions of violating her privacy when I looked through her bag. But now that I have found the rolling papers I feel like I need to do something. She swears up and down that she doesn’t do drugs, but I am just no longer sure. I am considering buying a drug test to find out for sure, but my husband says that if start forcing her to take drug tests it won’t feel like a family anymore and it will be more like a prison instead. Is it worth it to make her do a drug test? Our relationship is not good these days and I am loathe to do anything too make things more difficult, but in this case, if she is on drugs at 13, I feel like extreme measures are now necessary????!!!!
Read answer →Do your turn in your child to the police?
I caught my son bringing in a stop sign and a speed limit sign from his car late last night. He told me he had been on a scavenger hunt with a bunch of kids from his high school and that the street signs were on the list of items they had to get. Presumably there are a number of street signs missing around town this morning. I am so angry with him for being so stupid and putting people in such danger by taking a stop sign away from an intersection. I know he wasn’t thinking it through but he should have known better than this. I really let him have it last night and I can see that he understands that what he did was stupid and dangerous and immature. But now what do I do? At first I was thinking about turning him and his friends into the police for what they had done but my husband reminded me that this can be quite a serious crime and that in one case recently a teen was even charged with manslaughter after an accident occurred at an intersection that was missing a stolen stop sign. I don’t want him to get into really serious trouble for this but on the other hand, I don’t want to be complicit in his crime and teach him that bad actions don’t have real life consequences. Should I call the police on him? I am really torn about what to do?
Read answer →Feeling Like You Don't Fit In
I am worried that I have Asberger’s or a personality disorder. I was homeschooled by my parents from grade 4 through my senior year. I had a few good friends who were also being homeschooled and so that was OK. Now, I am off away from home at college and I am having a lot of trouble making friends here. I feel like I just don’t have a good understanding on how to interact with my peers and anything I try to say just comes out in a very bad way. Like my roommate’s friends were over last night and they were teasing my roommate about some girl he’d hooked up with and I tried to get in on the fun and made a joke about the STD’s he probably has now – and they looked at me like I was some killjoy and pretty much left the room after that. They just think I am a freak. It just seems like everything I say comes out the wrong way and as a result I have zero friends to hang out with after a few months already in. It really sucks. I am tired of being such a social idiot. My parents say that it will just take me some time to get used to hanging out again in a group of people my own age, but I am starting to wonder if there is something more wrong with me. How can I know if I am just not a likeable person or if there is reason why I can’t get a read on how to act with the people in my dorm?
Read answer →Sister Refuses Help
My sister is depressed. Actually, she has not been clinically diagnosed with anything because she won’t admit that anything is wrong with her and so she won’t go to see a doctor or a psychiatrist about the way she is feeling. I can see however that she has really changed a lot in the last few years and she is so far different from the bubbly person she used to be you would swear these were two different people. She went through a very tough breakup and a few years ago and she just never seemed to bounce back from it. Now she mostly just wants to stay at home and do nothing. She used to be such a neat freak and now her apartment is a dark and dirty mess. She used to be the life of the party and now she won’t pick up when her friends call and unless I go over and basically force myself in the house I don’t get to see her either. She says she doesn’t want help but it’s so obvious that she needs something. How can intervene effectively to get her to take some action so she can get back to the person she was and back to enjoying life. It’s killing me to see her like this but I just don’t know what I can do to make the situation better?
Read answer →Clutter House
My 64 year old uncle lives alone and his house is just totally out of control. There is stuff everywhere. Once you open the porch door you can walk straight ahead into the main living room, but if you look to the left you can’t see anything of the 15 feet of porch that used to be there, it’s now just a mountain of useless junk. Once you get in the house there are some rooms that you can no longer even enter. I don’t know how to put into words how crazy the situation is but it is a bad scene. The stuff is piled from the floor to pretty much the ceiling. It’s incredible but it is also sad and I think it’s got to be a major fire hazard. I have tried on many occasions to get my uncle to throw out some of the stuff. He will generally go along with the idea but as soon as we start sorting through anything he always has a million reasons why he can’t get rid of whatever piece of garbage I happen to have in my hand. If you try to force the issue he gets upset and angry and it just seems to get counterproductive. He obviously has a problem but he will not admit that there is anything really wrong. What can I do to get him to clean out some of the stuff. I worry that in addition to it all being a fire hazard, the house just feels so stuffy and dusty and probably moldy, it cannot be good for his health at all. I feel like he needs some sort of intervention like you see on TV, but I don’t have any idea how or what to do to make him see the light.
Read answer →Verbal Abuse on the Job
I am a small practice legal secretary for a firm of three lawyers. The job pays reasonably well and I am not in a position where I can quit my job, as equivalent employment in my area would be very difficult to find. I have been working here now for about 3 months. 2 of the lawyers are fine, but the senior partner is an abusive bully, to me and even to the other lawyers in the firm. He will give me an assignment to complete and then he will invariably end up screaming at me for my having failed to include some information that he didn’t ask for and that I couldn’t have know he wanted. He really makes me feel stupid sometimes and I have to remind myself that I didn’t do anything wrong and that I can’t read his mind if he won’t tell me what he wants. He generally likes to wait until there is at least someone else within earshot before yelling too, so he’s got an audience and so other people think I am incompetent, which I am not. He also loves to wait until almost the end of the day, often as he is leaving before giving me some task he knows will take hours to complete so that I have to stay late. I could go on, but basically the guy is a complete jerk and if I had any legitimate alternatives I wouldn’t stay another day. I am often in tears by the time I get home at night and I am often still seething over the day at work as I lie in bed at night. As it is though, I think I need to try to make this work for a while, but what can I do to make him back off a bit? Is it a good idea for me to confront him on his bullying or will this just make things worse? Is what he is doing against the law? At this point I would love it if he got what’s coming to him for the way he treats everyone.
Read answer →Twelve going on Sixteen
My 12 year old daughter lies constantly, steals from family and from stores, is sexually active and uses drugs and alcohol. I cannot control her and she basically ignores any attempts I make to discipline her. She has had several run-ins with the police and at the rate she is going she is going to be in jail or worse well before her 18th birthday. I am obviously failing her as a single dad and looking back I can see that I did not spend as much time with her as she was growing up as I should have. I think that she needs more help and discipline than I can give her. Which is better for a behaviorally troubled teen, some sort of long term wilderness program or a boot camp or military school type of program?
Read answer →Verifying a reputable on-line therapist.
What’s the best way to find a reputable online therapist? How can I know if some guy I communicate with by email is really who he says he is and is someone I should be taking life advice from!
Read answer →Teen son drinking at home. Is it OK?
Should I let my son (he is 17) and his friends drink beers at home, under supervision? I know that it is against the law but where we live all the kids are out drinking and carrying on on the weekends and at least if I let him and friends drink where I can keep an eye on them I’ll know they aren’t out on the roads drunk or getting in any other kinds of trouble.
Read answer →Computer Game Junkie Brother
I believe my older brother/roommate has developed an unhealthy obsession with playing computer games on the internet. He was laid off about 18 months ago and since then has spent more and more time playing games and less and less time looking for work, spending time with me and our friends…even taking showers or cleaning the food box debris that piles up around him in his room during his marathon sessions of game play! He’s a great guy and I’m getting pretty worried about him. I have challenged him to stop playing for a while but he just doesn’t see any problem with the way he spends his days. How can I show him that he’s got a problem when he doesn’t see any problem with staring at a screen full of wizards and elves from the minute he gets up (in the afternoon) to the minute he drops off to bed just before I’m heading off to work?
Read answer →Bullying in the Family
My sister’s son verbally bullies my oldest son (7) whenever we get together for family gatherings. He will even tease and taunt him very cruelly at the dinner table in front of all the adults so I know it must be much worse when they go off to play without the adults watching. My sister does nothing when she witnesses the bullying and it puts me in an awkward spot. For a lot of reasons, her parenting skills are a very sensitive subject within the family and I cannot bring her son’s treatment of my son up with her without it becoming a shouting match. For the same reasons, my parents and siblings aren’t eager to confront her about the behavior either. If I discipline her son for what he does, things are even worse. I am at sort of a loss about what to do. They boys see each other a lot at family gatherings and I hate to put him in the position where I know he is going to get bullied, and he gets very upset about it as well. On the other hand, the bullying is never physical and I don’t think he is any danger and I don’t want to deny him and my other kids relationships with the rest of the family. We’ve always been a close family and done things like weekly summer Sunday BBQs at my parents and other things in the winter. How damaging is it for my son to be in a spot where he is getting bullied in the family and he knows that his parents can’t or won’t put a stop to it? Is it going to have lasting damage? He still wants to go to his grandparents even though he knows that Owen will be there, so maybe I am overreacting…? I feel like I have to choose between either giving him the gift of a loving extended family or keeping him safe from bullying.
Read answer →Stopping son from dangerous drinking
My 15 year old son Roger has been caught drinking beer with his friends on two occasions in the last 3 months. This is not acceptable behavior and he knows it, and he has been punished for what he did. There is a history of alcoholism in the family and I am very worried that Roger may be going down a path that will lead to a very unhappy ending (I know because my dad and brother are both alcoholics and I can see what damage it does.) How can I get him to see the danger of what he is doing by starting to drink at such a young age, especially with his family history. When I try to talk to him about it, it always starts to sound like a lecture and I can see that I am not getting through to him in a meaningful way.
Read answer →Do I have OCD?
I’ve always been a bit of a double checker of things, but it’s gotten to the point now that I have a lot of trouble leaving the house. I have these crazy worries that I left the stove on or the iron is plugged in or the electrical wire is dangling out of the socket. Before I leave the house and before I got to bed I have to check and recheck everything like 5 times – and I’ll usually end up getting out of bed or unlocking the door after leaving to go back and check things a few more times before I can reluctantly leave it alone. I used to really like to smoke marijuana but I had to give it up because it just drove my anxieties about this kind of stuff into super overdrive and I’d literally stay up for hours into night just so I could monitor the house so it wouldn’t burn down. If I use the stove at any point near when I have to go I have to check that it’s off and cooled down an insane number of times. I’ve told a few friends about what I go through and they laugh it off and say they do the same thing…but I don’t think they could to the same level, because I really have a hard time even leaving the house anymore. Oddly enough, if I am with someone else and they do the checking, I don’t worry at all and can leave without distress. I also brought it up with my doctor at a recent check-up but he said that people with OCD are much more affected and that my behavior remains within the normal range. He recommended relaxation exercises as a way to overcome compulsive feelings. Based on what I have described, do you think I have OCD? If so, will medication help me?
Read answer →Getting Past a Terrible Breakup
My finance and I had been together for 10 years and were a few months away from scheduled marriage when she announced that she had met someone else and was leaving me. It was a total bombshell. I didn’t see it coming and it just ruined me. That was about 9 months ago, and every day I still feel the same pain I felt on that first day. I can’t get over it. I just stay home and think about her all the time. I’ve still got her pictures up all over the apartment, and I now it’s not healthy but I can’t bring myself to take them down. I no longer go out socially with friends because I don’t enjoy it and they don’t understand what I’m going through. At first they did, but now, they all think I should be getting over it – but I am not all and now I just get so angry when they ask about it and about how they don’t get it. I work a dead end job because my music is my passion, but since she left, I can’t even play. I have tried so many times to get her to come back and I am always wondering what I did wrong to drive her away. I know I need to let go, but I just can’t because if I don’t have pain with her then I have nothing with her, and that just seems worse. What can I do to get out of this hole I’m in? If this is life for me, then it isn’t worth living.
Read answer →Kicked my son out of the house. Now I want him back..
Kicked my son out of the house. Now I want him back but don’t know how to make it happen and still retain any authority over him. I have always had a close relationship with my 16 year old son. As a single mother, we’ve been through a lot together over the years and he is a big part of my life. For the last couple of years he has started in with a really bad crowd and they have totally changed the way he behaves and his attitude towards me. I have caught him with marijuana and alcohol and some kind of pills and half the time I can’t tell if he is high or just sullen and ignoring. He also has a girlfriend who seems to have no parental supervision at all and very little shame. I will come home to see the 2 of them on the couch together and they barely even stop until I get angry. It is very hard for me to watch. They seem to find me a joke. His grades are terrible. He drinks and uses drugs. He breaks the law. He is sexually active and has explicit content on his phone and computer that I find disgusting and that he barely feels the need to conceal from me. Last week the police brought him home drunk. They did not press charges but I was fed up and grounded him for a month for his behavior. He said he was too old to be grounded like some little kid. The next night he went out the window and went out to the park again to hang with his friends and didn’t come home until 2 in the morning. He knew I’d know and he just didn’t care. He was challenging me. I told him he was grounded for 2 months and if he couldn’t respect the rules of the house he couldn’t live here anymore. When I woke up the next morning he was gone and had taken a bag of his things with him. That was about 5 days ago. I have talked to him on the phone and know he is staying at his friend’s apartment, with no parents present. He seems to be having a fine time and he says that I kicked him out, which is not true. I feel like he knows I’m worried about him and he is punishing me by acting like he’s happy to be gone. I want him to come back home because I know that as badly as he treats me and as badly as he behaves, at least I know he is safe. Now, I lay awake at night worrying about him. But how do I get him to come back without losing any authority I have over him? I mean, I made an ultimatum and he made a joke of it. If I ask him to come home won’t he be able to do whatever he wants…not that would be so terribly different from before though.
Read answer →My Daughter Is a Teen Bully – How Do I Make Her Stop?
I believe my 15 year old daughter is a bully to other kids in her school. Last year her homeroom teacher asked me to talk to her about the way she made some of the other less popular kids the constant butt of her jokes and gossiping and stuff. The teacher told me that there hadn’t been a single major incident and that while my daughter was popular and doing well in school, that she worried she might get into trouble as she progressed through high school if she didn’t change her ways. Her father left the family when she was 9. He seemed to encourage her aggression as a skill she’d need in life to get ahead and so he’d only laugh off or even approve of the aggressive behaviors (like hitting a playmate) that she would act out as a child. Now this seems to be the way she is and I can’t seem to make her change, no matter what I try to do. Talking to her seemed to have no real effect. She says that she’s not doing anything wrong and that those ‘losers’ at school who complain about what she does should worry more about losing a few pounds or getting a friend than complaining to the teacher about her (that’s how she talks about her classmates). I am trying to hammer home the golden rule, but when I see her on facebook at night I really worry that she isn’t behaving as she ought to. I love my daughter, but sometimes I cringe at the way she treats me and even her friends. I forced her (by withholding her allowance) to volunteer with me at the soup kitchen associated with our as a way to teach her some compassion for others, but the way she turned her nose up at the homeless people was so embarrassing to me and degrading to them, that I never made her go back. So, what can I do? The school isn’t doing anything and she doesn’t listen to what I have to say. How can I teach her to treat others a little better and to stop her bullying?
Read answer →I survived a REAL crisis! But what's next?
After my mother died 2 years ago, I quit my job and started a record label with a friend of mine. I thought I was going to take over the music business... however, after only a few weeks I began believing something was wrong. I just couldn't identify what it was... I had difficulties sleeping, couldn't concentrate... soooo scared the business would go wrong. "OMG, what's going on, I can't afford to fail.. keep going, keep going... " was all I kept thinking... Then, for some reason I felt that I had to spend myself to success. it was silly I know- buying expensive suits, a new BMW... I left my girlfriend, at first blaming her for my panic attacks, that she wasn't helping at all (in fact she's been faultless). My business partner was beginning to be irritated, too.. well to cut it short: we were lucky, and secured a few record deals. A year later, things have improved a lot. I know I've been acting recklessly.... but this is not why I came here. I would like to find out how you would approach a difficult period in life, if you were me... the next time around. Would you seek treatment? Honestly I am still scared. Scared, that I may happen again, and that this time I won't be as lucky... so, I guess I am scared of my anxieties. It is crazy, no? Thanks for your time, sir. Buster
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