Rebecca Ashton
VerifiedFdSc, MBACP
Counselor/Therapist
Hereford, UK
Answers questions in Adolescent Issues · Anger Management · Anxiety
What I do
I have always had an interest in mental health and psychology and I began studying counselling and psychotherapy in 2005 and after a break, continued my studies, taking the Higher National Diploma in Counselling in at the Herefordshire College of Technology, followed by the Foundation Degree in Counselling at the University of Worcester. The degree included modules such as Ethics and Law, Human Growth and Development, Counselling Children and Young People, Comparative Theoretical Approaches, Social, Political and Cultural Contexts in Counselling, Loss and Grief, Personal Development, Professional Development, Research and Work Based Learning.
I work eclectively; I am in part influenced by constructive alternativism and I use the person-centred model as a foundation and may dip into theories/ideas from other areas, such as psychodynamic work, or cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) for example. It all depends on my individual client and what could be the most effective for their specific needs.
As part of my continued professional development (CPD) I have also completed the following top-up modules via my governing body:
Psychopharmacology and Counselling and Psychotherapy
Confidentiality; Managing Client Confidences
Bringing Professional Obligations to a Close
The Therapist's Personal Safety and Care in the Workplace
Preparing for Supervision and Getting the Most Out of It
I have attended the following conferences/webinars;
The Psychologists Protection Society Trust CPD Event; "Working with Dilemmas in Dual Relationships" - Sept 2013
OCTIA/BACP Webinar "Working Therapeutically and Safely Online" - April 2014
BACP Ethical Framework Webinar - April 2014
And I have also completed the following other courses;
Domestic Abuse Awareness training with Positive Change Professionals
Attended the Psychologists Protection Society Trust CPD event "Working with Dilemmas in Dual Relationships" - Sept 2013
I have experience in the Awareness in Bereavement course which is offered by Cruse Bereavement Care. I currently work as an online counsellor for the TASHA Foundation.
My own counselling service was entered for a BACP award regarding improving access to therapy in Autumn 2012. While the service did not win the award, it scored well. A representative of the BACP said "As you had only just started out, this was highly impressive. Your entry was competitive against some other well established organisations".
I have had experience both as a counsellor/psychotherapist and as a client and I feel that that is an incredibly useful aspect of my service.
I am a huge believer in positive psychology and I feel that counselling/psychotherapy is not just for those in distress, but can be used in order to get to know oneself, or as part of personal development and I welcome those who wish to work in this way.
As a Member of BACP (The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy) I am bound by its Ethical Framework for good practice in Counselling and Psychotherapy, the Ethical Guidelines for Researching Counselling and Psychotherapy (where practitioners undertake research) and subject to the Professional Conduct Procedure for the time being in force.
I have a clear and up to date CRB check and I am also a member of the Wye Valley NHS Trust, the 2gether NHS Foundation Trust and the Herefordshire Clinical Commissioning Group.
Why life is worth living
you can make whatever you like with it!
Treatment Offered
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Answered Questions(17)
Should I Tell My Daughter I Am Going To Rehab?
I am checking in to a rehab next week and I am terrified but I am also relieved that is going to be over soon. I am an opiate addict and I have tried everything to stop and I cant. My 9 year old daughter lives with her mom and I normally take her on two day activities a week and I am supposed to be in rehab and sober living for 3 months or maybe even longer. Should I tell her the truth about where I am going? I have always kept my addiction a secret from her and she has no idea. If she learns that her daddy is a drug addict will this be bad for her? If I don’t tell her the truth then I cant see her for 3 months since she can visit on the weekends but she will obviously figure things out if she comes to the rehab to see me. I am torn about what to do. My exwife says it is up to me but she doesn’t think it is a good idea for our daughter to know since she is almost a teenager and she needs to respect me as a father and role model.
Read answer →Is My Wife Gay, Or Is It a Mid-Life Crisis?
I caught my wife in an affair relationship with another younger woman. This happened yesterday and I left to stay in a motel but we have had some phone conversations. We have been married for 23 years. She says she is sorry and that she did not mean for me to find out and that she is confused and it was just something exciting that just happened in her life with a younger woman from her office. Could this be a mid life crisis and she is not actually a lesbian? She says she is not gay and I do not understand what she means by this. I am really confused and messed up and I can’t make any progress with this because I can’t really process the situation.
Read answer →How Do I Help My Brother Quit Drinking?
My brother and his wife had their first child born two weeks ago. My brother is a big partier and a fun guy who makes a lot of money doing sound and light for clubs and shows. Because of his job it is normal to have drinks around so I did not realize that things were so bad even though he usually had a beer around whenever I saw him at work. What was eye opening was that when his wife was in labor I know he was sneaking out into the bathroom and drinking. When I called him on this he said he was celebrating and that I shouldn’t get weird about it. I had not spent time a lot of time with him in the last couple of years and even though he was really hiding his drinking from me after I brought it up I could smell it on him all the time. He is an alcoholic I can see this plainly. The question is, with an infant baby in the house and he is the family bread winner should he go to rehab now? I want him to get help but I do not know what to suggest.
Read answer →My Anger is Getting Out of Control
I had a fight with someone on the bus today and I got kicked off by the driver who told me not to come back on. I used the n word at the driver. This is a big problem for me because I need that bus to get to work. This kind of thing happens to me a lot. I have a shitty internal censor and when I get angry I cant help but shout out whatever I am feeling and this leads me to say really horrible things to people. It has gotten me suspended and expelled from schools and fired from jobs and lost me the only few friends I have ever had. It has also gotten me beat up pretty badly twice. I just cant control myself when I want to say verbally hurt someones feelings. I never want to cause problems with anyone but people act bitchy to me all the time for no reason. I don’t always walk around with a smile on my face but I am just lost in my own thoughts. When someone comes at me and acts rude out of nowhere then I feel attacked and react back with whatever I am feeling at the split second. The biggest problem is I use language like the n word or the c word and I can’t stop myself but I do not actually like to use those words or feel like that. I just want to inflict maximum damage at that split second and then I cant take it back. It is the way I have been my whole life.
Read answer →Will E-Cigarettes help me control my weight?
I was skinny as a smoker and I gained 20 pounds since I quit smoking exactly one year ago. I swear to God I am not eating any more than I was before so I guess the nicotine is what it was. Do the vapor smokeless cigarettes help people control weight or maybe I could just slap on a nicotine patch every week. I feel frustrated by my fatness and honestly I do not feel healthier now because I am so fat now.
Read answer →Self-help Marriage Counselling?
Is there such a thing as self help marriage counseling? For example, a self help course that we could both do together as an exercise to improve communication and reduce the number of stupid fights that we have in a week. We both love each other but we are going through a rough patch right now and we would both like to stop things from sliding in the wrong direction. Unfortunately, a lot of our problems are caused by job loss stress and financial stress so paying for therapy sessions is probably not a good option for us right at this moment.
Read answer →Marijuana and Depression.
Is it really bad for a person with depression who is taking medication and has it under control to also smoke marijuana once in a while socially? I am writing about my brother who I am worried about. He says he feels OK and he is being careful but he always feels Ok before he one day does not feel Ok so I worry that he is not very good at watching himself and diagnosing himself.
Read answer →Can I Take St John's Wort?
Would you recommend that a man with a little bit of depression use St. John’s Wort in America since there is no guarantee of what is actually in the pills? I read a study this week that said that in a significant percentage of capsules there was none at all of what was supposed to be in there? Is there any way to be sure that what you are buying is the real thing?
Read answer →How Do I Breathe When I Can't Breathe?
I almost drowned and now with a part of my PTSD sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe even though all is OK. Once I get this feeling I have to fight to take the next breath and it feels like I can’t or I won’t be able to and I start to panic but then I do and then it repeats and during this I will by squezzing my stomach and chest muscles so hard they will hurt for hours after. I know I am supposed to try to do deep diaphramic breathing when I get like this but I can barely take tiny shallow breaths so that does not work.
Read answer →Addicted to Anger
I am a rageoholic. That’s what my last wife called me. Before she left me. I have spoken with therapists and even did a couple of group therapy sessions with a bunch of other angry men when I was trying without success to save my marriage. I know how to recognize my anger when it comes and I know how to arrest its progression with progressive relaxation and deep breathing exercises. But unfortunately, anger is like a drug to me. It’s like a high that I can’t do without. When I feel my anger rushing in I could still stop it if I chose to but at that moment I LIKE IT. I love the sense of power and the loss of control and restraint and my righteousness. I just love it all so much. OF course I don’t like what I get after, but that’s after. So I want to stop but all anyone seems to be able to teach me is to learn how to stop it from blossoming once it gets started. For me though, once it gets started I am like an alcoholic trying to have just one – aint gonna happen. So what do I do?
Read answer →Divorce and PTSD
In marriages where one person gets PTSD that is not really responsive to treatment and is essentially an ongoing and never ending condition, what would you say the divorce rate is? This is my situation with my husband who is a retired police officer. We are in year 5 of quite severe symptoms and I am coming to realize that is it. It is never going to be different and I need to decide if I can accept this now that there is no hope of our old life returning.
Read answer →Depression and Teens
I am really depressed. I am 15 and I can’t stand my life or anything or anyone in it. I love my family but I can’t stand to be around them. My parents won’t pay for me to go to a therapist and the guidance counselors at my school are horrible (you can’t imagine opening up to them and them not laughing about your problems with everyone in the staff room 5 minutes later). Who else can I turn to for help?
Read answer →Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
I am terrified that of the idea of intruders and violent attacks. For no reason at all. When I try to go to sleep I flash on images all the time of someone sneaking in and hurting me in all sorts of horrible ways. These images won’t go away unless I get out of bed and check to make sure everything is OK. Sometimes I have to do this many times before I can fall asleep. I did not used to have this problem so what can I do to make it stop? Do you think I should get a dog or will that not work?
Read answer →Stress Relieving Supplements
Do vitamins like stress tabs and other stress formulations actually work to help reduce the effects of stress or are these just marketing?
Read answer →Delayed Onset PTSD
How likely is it to get PTSD more than a year after a very traumatic experience, a fire, where a loved one died right beside you from smoke inhalation? I thought I was fine but now I have all of the symptoms of PTSD and I am really confused about why I am going through this now instead of back then or at the funeral.
Read answer →Facebook; When is it too soon to start?
Does social media turn kids into narcissists or bullies or victims? At what age is a tween or child ready for facebook? Facebook prohibits under 13s but this is widely ignored. Is there any information out there on how well kids are able to make use of social media like facebook? Does it do them harm? I won’t let my 11 year old daughter have an account and she tells me (and shows me) that all her friends are on it. Should I let her join the rest of the world or are my parenting caution instincts right?
Read answer →Time and the Grieving Process.
I am having a hard time coping after the death of my husband Mark in January. I feel stuck and half of me doesn’t want to move on and the otehr half just wants everyone to leave me alone and in peace. I haven’t left the house to do much more than the shopping since the funeral and my children want me to talk to a professional. They are quite insistent. Before I agree I want to know how long it takes. How many sessions can I expect to need?
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