Being Confused feels better than being Hurt

Thank you for writing. I'm so sorry to hear that your husband is in this downward spiral. Very good women often tell me that they are "confused" when in fact there's nothing confusing and everything is simply hurtful. Active alcoholics tend to be self centered and very immature emotionally. Your husband is behaving childishly and seeking lots of immediate gratification. Unfortunately, he also wants to retain you as a back up plan (alcoholics always have a back up option). Sometimes the cliches - even when they become Fcebook memes still hold true "Never make someone a priority who treats you as an option."

I'm not saying walk away permanently. I am saying walk away - at least until there is a lot of evidence that he is sober and willing to make a lot of changes. It's time to take care of you. Blessed be.