Labels Never Tell the Whole Story

Jim, I read your article "Understanding the Insanity of Alcoholism" and found it so informative but I have a personal question. I am now divorced and trying to make sense whether my marriage ended because of his alcohol use or if he was just abusive by nature. He was a stay-at-home drinker (3-5 drinks per night), came from family of alcoholics but hid it very well so that the first 8 years of marriage I never saw him drink at all but he engaged in this campaign of blackening my name behind my back to friends & his family after I asked about his drinking the last 5 years. He escalated to causing fights then running off to gamble and at the end abandoned me when I faced a major surgery. He stayed in the house, paid no bills and starting using escort services and later he may have had several affairs. If I never saw him drunk or even "tipsy" what do you think I was dealing with? As a note, the last 2 years he did start to hide bottles in garage & that is what started my suspicions. Just curious if you can help my mind put this to rest.