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Living With An Addict

Affected Other and the Hardest Choices a Person Can Make

Answered by Jim LaPierre, LCSW, CCS

Question

hi there....our 24 yrd old son lives at home with us. he is an alcohol. he cant hold down a job he does stay sober for 10 to 12 days then drinks for 3 days straight. My husband is ready to leave our home. he cant take it anymore. We brought our son home about 3 months ago I was afraid he would die out in the streets. He has completed 3 rehabs . he has living in sober living but ends up getting thrown out. He has no where to go to live. No family members want him around when he is drunk. he is an awesome young man when he is sober. I don't know what to do anymore my husband wants him to leave or he will leave I have to choose my son or my husband Im so torn and so desperate im afriaid if we throw our son out that he will die due to someone killing him because of his mouth or he will kill someone while driving. I keep him home to try to avoid this. Im dying inside. im afraid to lose another son I lost my 18yrd son about 14yrs ago in a car accident it was accident no drugs or any kind of substance was involved . my husband is its him or our son that has to go....im so torn I understand my husband point

Thank you for your question - my heart goes out to you. I have known far too many good women in your position. As a parent of a son the same age as your so...I can only imagine how hard this is for you. My thought is that your son has proven that you can't protect him from his disease - you can only enable him which is a well meaning attempt to keep him safe...but I'm sorry...it will not work. You're enabling and your son needs to face all consequences of his actions. I know it's counter intuitive but protecting him is robbing hi of motivation. I encourage you to have him leave your home immediately. I have worked with scores of young men for whom the very best thing that happened to them (causing them to get sober and change their lives) was to be homeless or in prison.

Hug your husband and son. Please consider going to an Al Anon meeting and please take good care of you.l

About the Expert

Jim LaPierre

LCSW, CCS

Brewer, United States of America

Specialties

Anger Management, Gay Lesbian Issues, Spirituality, Divorce, Compulsive Disorders, Trauma and PTSD, Life Coaching, Addiction or Substance Abuse, OCD, Mood Disorders, Parenting, Domestic Abuse or Domestic Violence, Anxiety or Fears, ADHD, Impulse Control Disorders, Relationship Issues, Women, Loss or Grief, Eating Disorders, Depression, Finding Your Purpose in Life

License

my_license #LC9830

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