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Addiction Recovery

Fine Line Between Supporting & Enabling

Answered by Jim LaPierre, LCSW, CCS

Question

How much financial help should I provide to my two Sons, 25 and 28 years old who are clean from drugs for the first time in 10 years? Right now I am paying for their apartments , cell phones, groceries . They have been clean for about 6 months. They are unemployed although they say they are job hunting.

I commend you on doing so much to support your sons in their sobriety. I wonder how much faith you have in their reported attempts to find work? I would not set a dollar or time line for you but I would encourage you to have an open discussion with them individually regarding your expectations and theirs. Make it clear that you expect them to become self sustaining and help them identify obstacles to gaining employment and managing their lives. It's the adage of give a man a fish versus teaching them to fish. If you're willing to be supportive in more ways then financially, together you can make transitional plans for their lives as sober, autonomous adults. Good luck!

About the Expert

Jim LaPierre

LCSW, CCS

Brewer, United States of America

Specialties

Anger Management, Gay Lesbian Issues, Spirituality, Divorce, Compulsive Disorders, Trauma and PTSD, Life Coaching, Addiction or Substance Abuse, OCD, Mood Disorders, Parenting, Domestic Abuse or Domestic Violence, Anxiety or Fears, ADHD, Impulse Control Disorders, Relationship Issues, Women, Loss or Grief, Eating Disorders, Depression, Finding Your Purpose in Life

License

my_license #LC9830