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Resolutions that Stick. . .

answered 11:18 AM EST, Thu January 02, 2014
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anonymous anonymous
How to do you make new year’s resolutions that you keep for longer than a few days. I am tired of my life and I want to get healthy and actually do something good this year rather than just spend it on the couch smoking weed and playing GTA. I am not addicted to anything in particular but I have spent way too many years living like a student in a student ghetto (except for the part where I don’t actually go to school) so I am sort of addicted to irresponsibility and laziness. I am 29 and I work at Starbucks.

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...

So glad that you recognize that you're "tired of your lifestyle". That is a huge first step for making any resolution stick. The next step is to state an intention... perhaps it's to go back to school, get training, find something that you are passionate about that you might explore further to see if and how it might have earning potential, etc. Step 2 is to break down into small steps what you need to do to achieve your goal(s). Maybe the first step is to get out of your apartment to exercise... this doesn't necessarily mean joining a gym; you might start walking, running, getting an exercise video, etc anything that brings about a change in your daily routine. Each of these steps has to be something a) you want to do b) you are willing to do c) see the activity as something that moves you toward your bigger goal.

Saying that you are tired of what your life is right now is one thing... what is it that you want? Saying that you are addicted to irresponsibility and laziness tells me that you feel stuck and unmotivated; that nothing has piqued your interest. Have you ever been interested/excited about anything other than video games and getting stoned? Think about whatever it was that used to inspire you, no matter how long ago... it's hard to move forward in your life when you label yourself lazy. This behavior started for a reason and while that reason may no longer exist you have developed a habit which has become an addiction. So, today, you get to assert that you are ready to embrace your free will and no longer be a slave to lethargy, laziness and weed.

Since this behavior is something you feel like you want to be done with, and haven't quite yet been able to move forward in a new direction, I wonder also if you might be feeling depressed? Often people label themselves with other names (usually critical, self-debasing ones), but the root of the issue is not so much behavioral as bio-chemical.  Depression/ taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally can also be addressed as part of your new year's resolution. You can seek out a therapist, life coach, mentor, etc.

So, to make a resolution last beyond a few days, make sure you do something every day that honors your resolution. Make sure you stay focused on your goal... keep your eye on your prize. Take small steps everyday that feel empowering and goal oriented and then give yourself small rewards for a job well done. Small rewards might be watching your favorite tv show, meeting friends for an hour at the end of the day...

Make sure you write down your goals and all the steps you can take to achieve them and each time you do something that moves you forward jot it down, make a check mark, etc. and then schedule a reward for yourself. It is also helpful if you share your goal(s) with a friend who will support and encourage you and can be your accountability partner... someone you check in with daily to reinforce your commitment to yourself. Remember: you are worth taking care of, and your goals and dreams really do matter.  I wish you the best going forward and may your journey for this year and beyond be as successful as you dare it to be...

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Page last updated Jan 02, 2014

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