Loren Gelberg-Goff
LCSW, CHt
Clinical Social Worker/Therapist
River Edge, USA
Answers questions in Adult ADD / ADHD · Anxiety · Counseling
About Loren Gelberg-Goff
I am Loren Gelberg-Goff, LCSW, in private practice for over 30 years in River Edge, NJ. I work with family careregivers, empowering them to take as good care of themselves as they do of others in their lives.
Take Back Your Life: Art of Self-Care virtual group program provides real life strategies, guidance and support to empower you to find freedom in the midst of overwhelm.
Take Back Your Life: A Caregiver's Guide to Finding Freedom in the Midst of Overwhelm is my latest book written especially for caregivers to help them learn to take as good care of themselves as they do of those they love.
My first book, which I co-authored with Dr. Carmel-Ann Mania, Being Well Within: From Distressed to De-Stressed brings you realistic, helpful strategies, tools, support and guidance to eliminate the negative effects of stress in your body, mind, and life.
Both books are available on Amazon as well as an e-book version. Visit my website for more details to help you Take back your life... www.LorenGelbergGoff.com
What I do
When your life suddenly includes being a caregiver, I am committed to providing you with the tools, strategies and support to help you learn to take as good care of yourself as you do of those you love. While stress and challenges may be a given in your life, suffering with them and through them is optional. You can make your needs a priority in spite of the added responsibilities of caring for a loved one.
My story
I am Loren Gelberg-Goff, LCSW, in private practice for over 30 years in River Edge, NJ. I work with family careregivers, empowering them to take as good care of themselves as they do of others in their lives.
Take Back Your Life: Art of Self-Care virtual group program provides real life strategies, guidance and support to empower you to find freedom in the midst of overwhelm.
Take Back Your Life: A Caregiver's Guide to Finding Freedom in the Midst of Overwhelm is my latest book written especially for caregivers to help them learn to take as good care of themselves as they do of those they love.
My first book, which I co-authored with Dr. Carmel-Ann Mania, Being Well Within: From Distressed to De-Stressed brings you realistic, helpful strategies, tools, support and guidance to eliminate the negative effects of stress in your body, mind, and life.
Both books are available on Amazon as well as an e-book version. Visit my website for more details to help you Take back your life... www.LorenGelbergGoff.com
Why life is worth living
As long as we are alive we have opportunities to embrace our true worth and live 'being wellwithin'.
Treatment Offered
Specialties
Therapy approaches
Patient population
Modalities
Articles(1)
Answered Questions(62)
Drinking, Anxiety, mental Illness
I am scared that I am going crazy. Here is why. Hangovers used to be tolerable. Now I wake up in mental agony. The physical side is no worse than before. However now I wake up with a really horrible feeling an anxiety that either something terrible is going to happen or I did something terrible the night before even when I know it was just a normal night out. I will go over and over again what I did the night before trying to understand what is causing my feelings. My heart pumps fast and I worry that I am about to have a mental break down. On the bus I feel everyone staring at me and I feel like everyone knows that I am about to lose it. Yesterday I had to get off the bus early because I could not take it anymore and walk the last 6 blocks. I don’t have a drinking problem but I like to go out with friends 2 or 3 times a week. I can take it or leave it though. What I am really worried about is my mental health. Does this sound like I have a mental illness?
Read answer →Treating Adult ADHD
What do you think about the Dr. Daniel Amen method for adult ADHD? I have heard some really amazing things about the progress one of my friends’ sons made and my son is 24 and really directionless and unemployed. He is a creative genius and amazing artist. If he could stay focused on completing a series of paintings he already has preapproval for a show at a major gallery. The problem is he can’t get it done and this is so frustrating to him and to all of us. We have tried every ADHD medication out there and they only help a small amount so he is not sure they are worth the side effects and since they don’t help I wonder if his ADHD diagnosis is not 100% accurate. This is why the idea of really comprehensive brain scans to find out what is going on in there sounds like exactly what we need to do.
Read answer →Depression and neurofeedback
Loren, I saw your answer to a question about Neurofeedback for depression but it was from 2012. Was wondering if you had any current opinion about it. My son, 20, has just admitted to having severe depression. He has been mediating with marijuana for three years heavily and has admitted that's how he pushes down any uncomfortable emotion he feels. He had a mental breakdown ten days ago and has been in the hospital since. Yesterday he tried cutting his wrists there and today admitted that he has suffered from depression for years and never told anyone. Antidepressants scare him (and me) with all the side effects and withdrawal symptoms. Please advise on what you think could help. thank you so much. Wendy
Read answer →Living in Fear
I am plagued by a lot of worries about getting diseases, mostly infectious diseases where I might legitimately be exposed to a virus but the likelihood is low. How can you decide that a small probability of incurable illness or death is too small to take any action against?. The thing that will happen is I will be in the park and somebodies dog will come over and sniff me and lick me and then I will be OK in the moment but then afterwards I will start thinking about the possibility of rabies and I will research it and then I will go and get rabies shots even though my doctor says I probably do not need them. He cannot give me a 100% guarantee. This happened to me a few months ago. Or, whenever I cut myself outside I get very scared about tetanus and other diseases, especially when my booster gets close to expiring. Hepatitis C is another thing I will worry about a lot when I get my hair cut or go to the dentist. Once I know there is a small chance I have been exposed and infected I can’t get the thought out of my mind and this causes me a lot of stress and worry.
Read answer →Resolutions that Stick. . .
How to do you make new year’s resolutions that you keep for longer than a few days. I am tired of my life and I want to get healthy and actually do something good this year rather than just spend it on the couch smoking weed and playing GTA. I am not addicted to anything in particular but I have spent way too many years living like a student in a student ghetto (except for the part where I don’t actually go to school) so I am sort of addicted to irresponsibility and laziness. I am 29 and I work at Starbucks.
Read answer →Healing America
This is a question about healing our sick society – our mentally ill society I would say. If American were a person she’d need therapy. Is there something toxic about collective self righteousness and outrage? I am so sick of listening to talk radio or news shows with my co-workers. We use morality judgments to feel superior to people with a different point of view. How do you fight against neat and tidy arguments that sound very correct and play into our baser impulses but do not represent the complicated, uncertain and messy reality? I feel like this media-driven poison is responsible for a lot of the hate in our society. We are in a hate spiral that is getting worse and worse and it is going to destroy us. How can we stop this at the level of society?
Read answer →Life with Anxiety, Stress, Meds, Sleep Problems,
I have a complicated problem. I have a history of anxiety and panic, sleep apnea and daytime hypersomnia. I have a CPAP but my compliance is not very good because I just can’t sleep comfortably with that machine. My doctor wants to put me on provogil but I have a history of anxiety disorders and so I am pretty worried about this. I expressed my concern but she asked me if I was currently feeling excessively anxious and when I told her I was in remission she said the provogil was worth a try. I am currently unmedicated after a lot of CBT and exposure therapies. I avoid caffeine because it gets me feeling jittery in a way that I really don’t like. She says if I don’t like I can stop. I am worried. Should I risk stimulant treatment for my hypersomnia? What I am scared of is that it will get me back to having uncontrolled panic attacks again and then even if I stop the stimulants it will be too late again.
Read answer →Overdoing Recovery?!
Is it possible to be too into recovery? After a certain point is the idea not to move away from everything recovery and start having a normal life? After 3 years the concept of recovery as the primary focus of my brother’s life remains. I am so happy for him but now I want to see him grow a bit and stretch his wings beyond the ‘recovery’ life he’s carved out for himself that’s all about 2 meetings a day and staying with my parents forever. When does recovery become fear? When dopes recovery become laziness? And how do you tell a person that you begged to get into recovery to stop being so into recovery?
Read answer →Motivation through Depression
I have an idea to help my wife that I would like your opinion on. Here is the idea. Setting your house thermostat very low as a way to help someone with depression? My wife has depression and a big part of it for her is feeling not able to get motivated to get out of the house to do things she enjoys. We have actually talked about this and she knows that if she gets out and does something rewarding it actually helps but even still she can’t make herself do it when she is feeling depressed and when she feels like this I can’t make her either. This is very frustrating for me to watch her slide down when I know that it would help to get out into the fresh air but she just won’t. So the idea would be to make the house not very comfortable to stay in to encourage her to get out during the daytime and do things. I would lock the blankets up in a chest and keep the key on me at work. I can acknowledge that this seems a little crazy but necessary. But here’s the big question. Suppose my wife agrees that this is a good idea to try for a trial period of time, like a week. If she can decide anytime that she doesn’t want the house to be cold someday when she is not feeling up to facing the world and just wants to stay on the couch then the experiment will not work. But on the other hand I do not want to get her very upset on some day that she really can’t get out and face the world and I am more or less forcing her out. Do you think this idea is too risky?
Read answer →Living Empowered: Being True to Yourself
How do I stop caring so much (too much) what other people think about me so I can live my life according to what should be most important to me?
Read answer →Hearing voices...
If I hear voices but I know that I am hearing voices does this mean I have schizophrenia. I hear voices in my head. They sound like other people talking to me. It is not like they are telling to do horrible things or anything. They just talk to me. I have been like this for as long as I can remember. Should I be worried that this will get worse? If it does not really bother me do I need to get treatment for it or should I just leave it alone?
Read answer →Addiction and Rescue
I have a cousin who is a drug addict and he is now living on the streets. Crack is his biggest problem but I think he does a lot of other drugs as well. He has been on the streets for about 4 months now after bouncing around from rehab to a recovery home to get kicked out of that recovery home to another recovery to getting kicked out of that next recovery home to back with his parents to getting kicked out of his parents and then back again and then finally to the street and the Salvation Army sometimes. I see him sometimes and it breaks my heart. I can’t believe this is a person from my family. I guess these people always come from somebody’s family but somehow you never expect it to be from yours. I want to help him but I have no idea how. If I give him money he buys drugs. If I give him stuff he sells it and buys drugs? If I get him a place he parties and then gets kicked out. How can I help him without making the problem worse? I am trying to get him to meet me for lunch in the park once a week just to keep a lifeline in (the way he looks restaurants aren’t really a good option.) Sometimes he comes but mostly he is unreliable with this too.
Read answer →Addictive Relationships
What are the main signs that a person is addicted to another person. I am in a very volatile and rocky relationship. I do not think you could call it a happy relationship. But I am totally unable to stay away from this other person. This has been an ongoing situation for more than a year and it is different from other relationships I have had in the past. It’s like an uncontrollable compulsion to be with this person.
Read answer →Relationships, Alcohol and Children
There is someone in my life who is a very good person who is probably an alcoholic. He is not violent or abusing in any way. But he will fall asleep drunk on the sofa many nights of the week and sometimes my 3 year old will be the one to find him there in the morning. I do not know what I am getting myself into but one area of concern that I have is how this may impact my children. My children are 1 and 3 currently. At what age would having a live-in person who drinks start to be a bad example that they would remember?
Read answer →ADD... Meds, or other treatments
I have ADD. I am 16. I was tested by a psychiatrist last year. I have a prescription for ritalin and I am supposed to take it before breakfast and lunch. I have been using it for almost a year. I don’t think it helps me at all. Does this mean I don’t have ADD? Does taking this medicine harm my brain if I don’t have ADD? My parents say I should take it but I am not sure.
Read answer →Food craving, addictions and neurofeedback (biofeedback for the brain)
I am interested in learning more about biofeedback for food addiction. I have very strong food cravings and urges to eat and these are very physical in nature. Would you agree that biofeedback can help a person to master her cravings by learning to control the physical sensations that lay beneath the metal processes? So does biofeedback work for food addicts or not. I confess I can’t understand the research that was sent to me by a friend. If it works how long does it take for biofeedback to ‘cure’ my very strong cravings?
Read answer →Coping with Life Stresses while in Recovery
I am 4 weeks out of rehab and in recovery from a polydrug addiction of cocaine, marijuana and of course alcohol. My boyfriend just got diagnosed with colon cancer. He is only 58. I am 44, if that matters. I am feeling very precarious. We had been together for 3 months before rehab. He was the one who convinced me to finally do what I knew I needed to do. He told me and tried to end the relationship. He says it’s too much for me to have to deal with him when I should be dealing with myself. I told him he was crazy but now that I am thinking about it I am not sure I can handle this. How do I stay with him and go through this without relapsing?
Read answer →Second Chances
Should I give my ex another chance. He was a really nice guy who got abusive to me and my children after he got addicted to crack. I left him three years ago. Now he is back in my life and he has been clean for 18 months. He says he is sorry for what he did and I believe that this is true. If it where just me I would give him another chance but what I want to ask about is will it be damaging to my 13 year old son and 11 year old daughter if this person who has hit them before gets back involved in our lives again. Will they understand that it was the drugs that made him like that or is that asking them to understand to much?
Read answer →Hypnosis, Depression and Positive Gains in Therapy
I was reading that hypnosis can accelerate the gains you can make in therapy. Do you think that hypnosis is something that can be (should be?) integrated into psychotherapy for depression. Are there any risks I need to be concerned about if my 17 year old severely depressed son was going to give it a try?
Read answer →Enabling vs. Compassionate Support
How is what we do as a society not enabling? For example. It is enabling when I give my daughter a place to stay even though she is an alcoholic spending her disability checks on alcohol every month. If I kick her out she goes and stays at a shelter. She still spends her disability checks on alcohol but now it is the government that is paying for room and board, and not me…but most importantly, it is still not her. She is still free to spend her whole check on alcohol. Which she does. I understand that we have shelters out of compassionate reasons but I thought that doing the hard thing and not enabling was actually more compassionate than letting her stay…so is it not more compassionate also to not provide shelters and free food to homeless alcoholics? Don’t we want people to hit rock bottom so they can start to change for the better?
Read answer →Break-ups, anger and self-destruction
I used to burn myself on purpose when I was 15 sometimes. I stopped because I knew it was wrong and dangerous but I really don’t know how I stopped it seems to me I just did. Now I am 24 and I am doing it again all of a sudden. I am really depressed and messed up because I just broke up with my boyfriend and things are not going very good in my life. I know that burning myself is stupid and I want to stop myself. I never burn myself very much and no one knows that I do it. I wish I could remember how I stopped before but I don’t. What I want to ask you is how do I stop doing it when I get the feeling that I want to because it feels like something I cant control.
Read answer →Anxiety, Sleep, Thoughts...
I have bad GAD. I normally have a very hard time at night because whenever I stop moving is when my thoughts explode and intrude all over my brain. I am thinking about buying some night time self hypnosis cds. You’re supposed to let these play over night and after a month you’re supposed to feel better. It has something to do with penetrating the subconscious when we stop awareness thought just before we fall to sleep. It’s like a crack in the door at that moment and if you let in these messages at that time, for enough nights in a row, then you actually change the way you think. And they are also supposed to help you sleep better too. Do you agree that these subconscious hypnosis tapes are a good idea? Or is it a waste of time and money?
Read answer →Neurofeedback and depression
Dear Doctor Lauren, How do you feel about biofeedback for someone with persistent unresponsive depression? I know this is something that is helpful for panic and anxiety but can it work for depression also?
Read answer →Rehab, relapse and recovery
Hi I just found out my girlfriend has been abusing narcos for 1 year now . The sad part is we have been in a long distance relationship for the same amount of time. Her mother is the one who gave them to her and she is telling her she has no problem. She was using 10 a day and her mom uses 20 a day. She decided to start rehab and turn her life around but she is afraid of what will happen once she leaves rehab and goes back home. She was going to move up in 4 months anyway but now she is really afraid of the temptation and wants to move up soon after she is released. I dont know what to do because if I let her move someplace she really doesnt know whats to stop her from relapsing. do you have any advice on being a positive force in her life and our relationship. thank you
Read answer →Long term grief, anxiety and normalcy
I've been on medication for anxiety and depression since I lost my baby almost 6 years ago. I've seen my psychologist (who seemed to be more vocal about themselves than the concern with helping me). I've been to 2 different psychiatrist durning these years. My depression comes and goes, but the anxiety seems like a daily thing. I walked away from a great job, I do not go anywhere by mysef (in fear of anxiety attacks). Will I always have to continue the medication? Will I ever be myself again?
Read answer →Help with Addicted Mom
My mom is addicted to a bunch of different kinds of opiates like percocets and others. She has pain but she is so high all the time now that it is not like it was before. I try to tell her she needs to get help but she gets really defensive. We don’t really have any other family except for my grandparents who don’t get along with my mom and my younger brother who is 12. I want my mom back and I know she needs to get help. She is not making good decisions right now. How can I make her get help without getting her into trouble (I know she is going to more than one doctor to get pills). If I go to my grandparents they will get her in trouble.
Read answer →Clean and Sober, and Depressed? Withdrawn?
My brother gave up drinking and drugs last month. I don’t know exactly what he was using but I know he was drinking every day and doing cocaine and if he is like everyone else around here I am sure he was doing a lot of pills too. I am really proud of him for quitting but ever since he quit he has just sat at home and watched TV, like all the time. At first I was just happy to see him not drunk or stoned but now I am starting to worry about him. Is this normal behavior for the first month of being clean and sober? He is generally a really sociable guy so to see him at home all the time and by himself is really out of character. He is just so down and he doesn’t want to do anything. Should I encourage him to get out and do more or should I just leave it alone since he isn’t drinking or using drugs?
Read answer →Social Anxiety and Hypnosis
Is hypnosis something that can help me with social anxiety? As soon as I get in a social situation outside of work I get terrified and I just feel so uncomfortable.
Read answer →Anxiety and Stress Come in All Guises
There is nothing physically wrong with me. I am 39 and I asked for a EKG on my last physical even though my doctor said it wasn't necessary and it came back totally fine. But I am worried all the time that there is something wrong with my heart. I feel like it sometimes skips a beat and sometimes it seems to slow down almost to a stop. Other times it is pounding so hard that I can see veins throbbing my neck. It has got to the point now that I am checking my pulse literally a hundred times a day and when ever it feels off my stomach does this lurch and I feel almost like I am going to throw up. My doctor didn't have any help for me. I can see that I am acting crazy but I don't know what to do.
Read answer →Rescuing Our Children
My son is a recovering alcoholic that is living with me. He has been to rehab (twice) and he has been in AA off and on for over 10 years and he was almost in complete liver failure 4 years ago and his liver function is still touch and go, especially since he cannot maintain total sobriety. He goes to 2 AA meetings a day and I believe he is trying. He is emotionally very fragile and he is not working. I am letting him stay with me rent free and I have been since he was out of rehab 16 months ago. He has nowhere else to go. The problem is he still drinks. He hides it from me but I can see that he is still drinking. I believe that if I made his not drinking a condition of his staying with me he would become homeless very shortly. He is trying but he cannot seem to stop himself completely. I believe that I am enabling the problem but I do not know how sending him to the streets is going to help things. In fact I think it would be a death sentence. What should I do?
Read answer →Depression and Retreats
I am depressed I think but I am not into the idea of taking drugs that might affect my personality. I am considering doing a month long meditation retreat as a way to deal with my depression. Is this a good idea? I am not sure if it is me dealing with my problems or me running away from my problems.
Read answer →You Don't have to Suffer Forever with Depression
I have had depression for 4 years. I have tried multiple medications and therapy. Some days are better than others and the treatment helps a bit I think but i never really feel better or cured. Should I get used to the fact that am never going to get any better than I am now, if 4 years of trying everything hasn't done much good?
Read answer →Forgiveness: The Gift You Give Yourself
Is it ever healthy to refuse to forgive someone? I have a spiritual teacher who says life is short, forgive everyone today and leave your hurt and anger behind. But I am not sure I can forgive some of the people from my past and if I do it seems like I trivialize the very not trivial things that were done to me?
Read answer →Dealing with Memories that Impact Your Life
I think something happened to me when I was a at a summer camp when I was a very young kid. I have these weird dreams about it all the time and I feel like I am repressing some sort of terrible event. I feel like this event that I don’t even remember is affecting me today and is making me into a suspicious and paranoid person when what I really want is to be able to embrace life. I want to move past this whatever it is and I am ready to face it. Is hypnosis the best way to deal with this? Is there much of a risk of false memories? Is there a better way than hypnosis?
Read answer →Therapies to Get Past Traumas
Is emdr the best therapy for PTSD? I was the victim of a violent home invasion 2 months ago and I can see that I am not getting over this in fact I am getting worse. My GP has prescribed me with Xanax but I am not sure I want to go down that road if I can avoid it.
Read answer →Don't Let Anxiety Keep You Stuck
What is the best kind of therapy for depression and anxiety? I am very depressed and I also get panic attacks so I am almost house bound with anxiety. I am a mess and I do not want to live this want any more!
Read answer →Don't Let Panic Attacks Ruin Your Life
I have had 3 panic attacks since March. I am terrified I am going to have another one and I feel a lot of dread whenever I think about the fact that another one is probably going to come someday soon. What do I need to do to get better so I do not have to live with this constant worry anymore? Can you recommend what kind of therapy I need?
Read answer →Care for Care-Givers
I am in a bad situation. I have always gotten along very well with my mother in law so when she could no longer stay alone at home because of her dementia I said that of course she could come to stay with us. I don’t know if I didn’t know her like I thought I did or if she has really changed a lot in the past year but I have come to a point now where I hate her. I spend all of my waking hours with her every day and I never get a break from her complaining. The problem is we used a lot of the money she had earmarked for a retirement home to do renos on our house to make it more livable for her. So I feel like I am stuck with her. I feel awful to say this but I have on some occasions been rougher with her than I should have been. I feel awful afterward but sometimes I just lose control for a second. I have never told anyone else that I have done this. I am not the kind of person that hurts people. Or at least I didn’t think I was. I guess I gave learned some unpleasant truths about myself this past year. I am disgusted with myself but I am also totally frazzled. What can I do to make sure I can keep myself under control even at the worst of times?
Read answer →Perfectionism vs. Self-Esteem
I have come to understand that my perfectionism is related to a lot of the anxiety I feel on a daily basis. I am tired of feeling worried and anxious and like nothing is ever good enough. I have always been a perfectionist. Is it possible for me to change this part of me?
Read answer →You CAN Raise Your self-Esteem
I have adhd and I dropped out of high school 3 years ago, got into drugs and drinking and haven’t really had a good job ever in my life. I am not good looking and I am fat. I still live at home with my mom and dad. I am trying to stay off drugs but it is hard. I go to a group meeting with some other people twice a week. I have to go by the court. They say I have low self esteem and that is why I use drugs. I think this is true. How can I raise my self esteem? Especially when I think I have very good reasons to have low self esteem, like not being very smart or pretty or anything very good.
Read answer →The Impact of Early Trauma on Life
I think I am still dealing with the after effects of a very scary attack that I witnessed when I was a small girl. I saw my mother getting very badly beaten when I was 5 and I can still recall the images of that horrible scene even today. Maybe this sounds absurd but I think that my trauma over that event has cast a shadow over my life since then. I was never as happy a child after that and I was always very anxious about my mom’s safety. Even today I think that that single event has made it hard for me to trust people enough to really get close and have normal relationships. I think I need to deal with this. I probably should have been in some kind of therapy 17 years ago but hopefully its still better late than never. What kind of therapy do I need so that I can get past this?
Read answer →Alternative treatments for depression
Can you use biofeedback to treat depression? My husband is not doing very well right now and he is resistant to taking medications so I am looking to find alternative treatments that might be helpful. If biofeedback (this was recommended to me by a friend) is not suitable, can you recommend an alternative treatment (non drug based) that might work for him. He is 42 and this is his first bout of depression. It just came out of the blue after he has been a very happy person for his whole life. He has been feeling down for about 2 months now and it is very clearly depression. Thank you for your advice and assistance. Cheryl.
Read answer →Drinking, cheating, anger and forgiveness?!
My wife has been clean and sober for 6 months and I am really proud of her. She was addicted to cocaine and was an alcoholic for years and she finally went to rehab a few months ago and has been clean ever since. I know the odds of relapse so I know that 6 months is an amazing accomplishment. She told me last night that she had cheated on me a couple of times when was really out of control about a year ago. She says both were one night stands that meant nothing, just flings after too much drinking. Right not I don’t know what to do. Even though I can understand that she was not really in control of herself back then I am still very hurt. It is worse because I know one of the guys too. She says she is very sorry and I believe her. She says that it was the drinking and I believe that too. But that doesn’t change the way I feel about it. I feel like I am in a box and I don’t know what to do. I am so angry about what she did but I still love her. I feel like if I throw her out of the house or do anything dramatic I’ll just send her right back to drugs and drinking. I feel like I want to punish her but that would be way to hard. She is doing really well but she is still fragile. This is so frustrating and it makes me even madder, that she is using my own love for her as a way to protect herself, I feel. I wish she had not told me but now that is out there I do not know how to deal with it. I have moved into our guest bedroom for now so I can keep an eye on her but do not have to look at her while I try to sleep. I don’t know how long I can keep this calm manner up for. I don’t know if I can ever really forgive her but I don’t want to see her die in a gutter either. How can I support her when I can’t even stand to look at her right now?
Read answer →Marijuana an anxiety cure?
Will marijuana help with my anxiety. I have not smoked for a long time since high school but I am having bad anxiety now and now I can get a prescription for medical marijuana because of my anxiety. However, the few times I remember smoking pot back when I was a teenager I remember it made me feel quite paranoid and tense, not at all like I thought it would. Should I try it again now for anxiety? Will my actually having anxiety now (I didn’t in high school) change the way it affects me if I use it as medicine now?
Read answer →Group Therapy for OCD
I have OCD. Is group therapy an option that might work? I am a long time AA participant and I find that there is something I really like about the group meeting kind of format.
Read answer →Double Depression
I have had double depression since I was in a car accident when I was 18. I have been off and on disability and have tried multiple medications, ECT, therapy, etc. I am usually mildly depressed. I haven't been able to sleep normally in years. I have no interest in sex. I have difficulty spending large amounts of time with people or in large groups. I have a flat affect. I don't believe anything will ever help.
Read answer →Breast Feeding and Alcohol
How concerned should I be by the issue of alcohol in breast milk. I don’t know how much of it is passed through the milk to the baby, but I share a house with a young family and I have seen her have a bunch of drinks and breast feed on like a bunch of occasions. I asked her if it was OK to be doing this and she said it didn’t harm the baby but I think she may be wrong on this. What should I do here? Should I call social services on her? She seems like a pretty good mom in most regards but the drinking and feeding just weirds me out and if she does that in front of me, what is she doing when no one can see what she is up to.
Read answer →Limited Motivation
How do I become interested in sticking with things long term? Somethings I already am dedicated to like being a mother and becoming a wife soon (I got engaged in Sept). But the other things in life, I realized yesterday, that I like to see "if I can do them" and once I have seen I can, I stop. Like going to the gym. Did that and lost the weight I wanted to loose last winter until April then just stopped going. I haven't gained it back but I'm not as toned and want to look and feel more healthy yet haven't found a motivator to get myself to go again consistantly. Or like getting a part time job. Got one and got to it and decided I wanted to leave. Turns out they didn't really need the extra help and had hired too many people so I gladly left. I didn't really need it to begin with. It would help no doubt but I don't have to have one. Playing piano again, I used to play when I was young, and my mother gifted me an electric keyboard she got at a bargin. I sat down, saw I could still play and haven't touched it since. I tried another language and did well on pronounciation and vocabulary so instead of learning it I just lost interest because I knew I could if I really wanted to sometime. What is that part of me doing or wanting? Is this a bad indicator of something I need to be aware and working on?
Read answer →OCD & Alcohol
My wife has OCD. She done CBT and is on antidepressants. She had always told me that she didn’t like to drink alcohol because it made her OCD symptoms much worse. She had been going through an OCD remission period for the last while and she started to enjoy wine with dinner. I was happy that she could enjoy such a normal thing for the first time. Now she is starting to drink at least a couple and often a few glasses of wine each evening and she says it really helps her with her OCD which has returned more strongly. From what I can see, this is not the case and in the morning after drinking her ordering and hand washing is much more severe and if she has had a lot of wine the night before then things seem even worse. I am not sure what to believe. I am worried she is developing an alcohol problem but if she says it helps her then who am I to take away what she needs to make it through the day, especially considering how much she has suffered and struggled with this disease for years. Is it ever a case that alcohol is a useful tool for those with OCD?
Read answer →Social tension and anxiety
I’m an educated and well read person with a wide range of interests and activities. When I am with family or close friends I have no trouble engaging in stimulating and enjoyable conversations, but as soon as I try to make any kind of conversation with a person I don’t know well, I always come across as some kind of idiot. I don’t know why I get so tongue tied, but as soon as I am forced to make conversation with a stranger my mind always goes blank and I can never think of comebacks for little jokes and I generally just wish I could disappear. Since most conversations tend to go this way I try my best to avoid engaging with people beyond my immediate network of family and close friends…and this is not an ideal situation, I have come to realize, especially as my circle of close friends seems to be dwindling as people move away and yet is never replenished with new faces. Are difficulties such as mine something that can be addressed through counseling? I wonder if I could learn to be less nervous and tongue tied through relaxation exercises or some sort of practice therapy, or maybe even medication.
Read answer →Feeling lost
I am sort of at a loss with what to do with myself now. I have worked the last 15 years in marketing and event promotions and have achieved a lot, professionally and I have always enjoyed the work and I have done well financially from it. I have always been very career focused and a very driven to succeed person so work and my professional goals have largely defined how I have lived my life, and I was always very OK with this. I got a big promotion about a year ago to a position I had been striving towards, but the thing is, after the excitement and challenge of the first few months wore off I found myself feeling sort of blah about the whole thing. This sounds cliché but I sort of realized that there is no pot of gold at the end of this professional rainbow and that I am working very hard to keep rising into positions that do not necessarily offer me any increased happiness. I am single and educated and financially secure and in my early 40’s. I can do anything but I can’t seriously imagine any life other than the one I’ve got, even though it’s no longer fulfilling to me. I guess I am just very lost – a mid life crisis I guess – and I don’t want to look back on my death bed and realize that I wasted my life in an office building making money for other people for things that don’t really matter. But on the other hand, what if this is just a phase I am going through and maybe I’d be stupid to throw it all away so I can move to the country and farm (one of my crazy ideas) and in another 6 months I’d just be an out of work ex marketing exec who temporarily lost her marbles. Sorry for rambling, but how can I know if quitting my job and following a totally new path in life is the right thing to do?
Read answer →Methadone use
My boyfriend delivered a bombshell last night when he told me that he is on Methadone as a recovering heroin user. I am totally shocked. He is a successful sales executive and a totally normal guy and not someone you’d ever imagine as a drug user, or at least I never would have imagined it. He says that he has tried stopping methadone but that for him it’s just better when he uses it and that it doesn’t mean that he is an addict anymore. Is this true? He says he hasn’t used any kind of drug for over three years. I have been considering asking him to move in with me but now I don’t know what to think anymore. Is he likely to go back to using drugs again? I love him but I want to have a family one day soon and I also need to be thinking about what kind of dad he’ll be…
Read answer →Neighborhood danger
My neighbor likes to sit around, in his boxers mostly and drink beer and liquor from about 10 in the morning until he gets loud in the evening and then passes out by night time. It’s a schedule you can pretty much set your watch to and since he’s on disability (who knows what for because he seems fine to me) he’s got all day every day to do this. I have 2 young kids who like to ride their bikes and skateboards around the neighborhood. The problem is this guy thinks nothing of hopping in his truck no matter how drunk he is and it makes me terrified for the safety of my children and for everyone else in the neighborhood. I have told them to be on the lookout for him and to get off their bikes and head to the curb if they see him coming, but who knows if this will be enough. I have tried asking him directly to be more careful with his drinking and driving but my efforts were not well received and we do not have a very civilized relationship at this point. I have called the police him but they say that unless they catch him while driving drunk, there is little they can do in advance. They have asked me to call when he goes out while drunk, and I have, but so far that has not resulted in anything happening. Do we all have to wait here until he kills some kid before we can do something? Is there anyone I can call to get this guy taken off the streets?
Read answer →Use of biofeedback
I get panic attacks sometimes but my doctor says I do not have panic disorder. He recommended that I try biofeedback to learn to control my body at the onset of an attack and that by learning to relax my body as anxiety builds I’d be able to stop panic attacks before they really get started. Is biofeedback an effective treatment for panic? It sounds a little bit crazy, actually, but I will try anything that might work.
Read answer →Recovering from attack
I was swarmed and attacked by a group of teens/young men almost a year ago and since then I have avoided walking in areas where groups of young people tend to congregate. This has restricted my ability to move freely through the city and I have spent much more time at home over this past year as a result. I was slightly injured in the attack but it was a deeply frightening event. Now I feel anxiety whenever I walk through any public areas and I think that what seemed like prudent common sense for personal safety has morphed into something more nefarious. An attack over a year ago in which I was not badly injured has since left me a virtual prisoner in my own home. I think I have fed my fears over these last months of isolation and now when I try to venture beyond my safety zones things seem very frightening. The price I am paying for personal safety is obviously too high. How can I regain my confidence? Intellectually I know that with a little common sense I am at low risk to experience any kind of assault, but my bodily reactions at the site of any ‘threat’ argue differently.
Read answer →Overwhelming?
Hi, am an LCSW from New York having just registered on this site. I want to make sure that I am realistic about what I chose to erspond to (expert about). Is the response, the number of questions that people ask, overwhelming? Thanks.
Read answer →Recovery from Home Invasion
THE VICTIM OF A VIOLENT HOME INVASION. NOW I CANNOT SLEEP BECAUSE I SPEND MY NIGHTS WAITING AND CHECKING STRAINING TO HEAR THE SHOUNDS OF AN INTRUDER. I AM THINKING ABOUT GETTING A GUN BUT I AM NOT A GUN PERSON AND I HAVE NEVER WANTED ONE BECAUSE I HAVE 2 SMALL CHILDREN. WILL I FEEL MORE RELAXED ONCE I AM ARMED? OR SINCE THIS IS MOSTLY IN HEAD (I KNOW I AM ACTING CRAZY) WILL GETTING READY TO DEFEND MYSELF EVEN HELP?
Read answer →Herbal Anxiety Cures
I have been diagnosed with GAD and I have actually been living with this sort of anxiety for a long time. I have had bad experiences in the past with drug addiction and medications though and now I prefer to avoid taking anything chemical into my body, as much as is possible in this chemical society we are all living in now. I think that it is probably because e of all the chemicals I took in my younger life that I am so anxious now. What type of herbal or alternative medicines can your recommend that I use to help reduce my feelings of anxiety. Do you recommend kava? I have heard that it works well but that it can be dangerous if you need to use it for a long time. Are there other herbs that work as well as Kava. I am starting to learn yoga now and I find that it is helpful, but only during the time I am actually doing the yoga. Is there anything else I can do on my own to feel better?
Read answer →Don't Want to Get Addicted to Adderall
My girlfriend has an abundant supply of Adderall that she never completely uses and she’s willing to share with those of us that need a boost, so last year at school I was taking it a few times a month (and more often than in periods near exams) not to get high, but as a study aid. I am not very into intoxicants in general. I very rarely smoke marijuana and drink socially only a couple of times a month. I can see that some in my circle of friends are letting partying interfere with their success at school but I am all about doing well here and am not going to let that happen to me. Because I am not the kind of person that lies to get all wasted every weekend, I do not think I am very likely to develop a problem with using stimulants as a study aid. I am aware that these medications can be addictive, but I feel that as long as I use them responsibly, the risk to me is low. And when compared with the benefits of long and focused study sessions, these risks are worth taking. Is my assessment accurate? If I do not use stimulants to get high but only as an aid to studying and if I do not use them every day but only a few times a month, am I putting myself in any real danger of developing an addiction?
Read answer →Alcoholic Boyfriend. A bad Role Model for Kids?
My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He drinks everyday but he is a pretty nice guy and he doesn’t get violent and he works a full time custodian job and pays his share of the bills. I love him and care for him and I have given up trying to change him. He is who he is and trying to get that bottle out of his hands after work is a waste of time and energy. I have 2 sons from a previous relationship. They are now aged 5 and 7. How bad is it for them to be watching their live in male role model get drunk every night? I think that if it is just me and him and I am OK with our relationship. But I worry about what affect he might have on them. I do not want them to get into trouble because I let them see a bad example in their own house.
Read answer →Sister in recovery sneaking vodka – what do I do?
My sister came to live with us after finishing up with treatment for a serious problem with cocaine and crack and drinking. She has been staying with us for 4 months and she has been doing very well. She goes to meetings and to her group a few times a week and it feels nice to have my real sister back from the dead. We have been burned by her too many times in the past so the deal was that she could stay with us but if started using or drinking again she would have to go. My husband was very serious about this due to our past problems with her. She has been doing really great and has a full time job as a landscaper and seems to be avoiding her old friends and lifestyle but this morning I was gardening and I found a half empty bottle of vodka hidden in the bushes behind her room. If I tell my husband she will have to go. But if I let her drink against the rules then I am just enabling her drinking again, like before. On the other hand, she really seems like she is trying hard to get her life turned around. What should I do? Should I confront her about it? Should I make her go like the deal says I should? Should I pretend like I never saw it?
Read answer →How to Remember that I Want to Stop Drinking?
Right now my head is pounding the screen is sort of shimmering in my sight and I can barely hold down my coffee. I am hungover and feeling pretty bad and I don’t want to do this anymore. But I know I will…How can I learn to keep the feelings I have in the mornings when I wake up hungover and full of self loathing active enough to remind me not to drink again by nightfall? I drink pretty much every day and most days after a night of drinking I wake up really regretting the whole things and kind of promising to myself that I won’t do it again anymore.. but then as I start to feel better as the day goes on those thoughts seem to disappear somewhere and by the end of the workday when my friends are going out for a beer…there I am walking along beside them, not thinking at all about how I was feeling in the morning and what I wanted to do….and the cycle repeats itself. Is there some sort of mental trick I can learn so that I can learn to keep my good intentions of the morning alive long enough to get me into bed without falling dead drunk into bed by nighttime?
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