Small steps to what you want

I wish I could talk to you direct, but I will deal with the situation in broad terms and hope that some of it may be helpful.

In your position, it would seem important to stop drinking in stages, to reduce slowly, or at least to get some medication to help if you are going to stop suddenly.

You should work to change your situation in small steps, which feel manageable for you.

You need to do more activities in your house. You can choose any activities which you like. If at present you do not know what you like, then do exercises, but do them regularly, some in the morning and some in the evening.

If the weather is nice, I suggest that you sit by the door and get yourself used to this transition environment. Then progress slowly increasing the distance from the house by 10's of steps. Be sober when you are doing this.

Fundamentally, you need to experience the things that you fear, but in small manageable amounts. Together with this, you need to accept that if you want a life, if you want to live in the way you would like, then you will have to accept some of the pain of making the transition.

If there are psychological events, which have set up your situation, perhaps you can find on-line or telephone counselling that can help. That position applies to your drinking and your agoraphobia.

So spend as much time as you can thinking about what you would like to do in life. Picture what you want and proceed in small steps, accepting the fear and the pain as you go.

You may find the book. "Get out of your mind and into your life, the new acceptance and commitment therapy" useful. It is by Stephen Hayes and Spencer Smith. You can get it from Amazon.

My best wishes!