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Shyness

answered 09:43 AM EST, Wed January 30, 2013

anonymous

I have a shyness problem. I have read a lot of self help stuff that seems to say that by NOT trying to get out and talk to people I don’t know I am only making my fears and insecurities stronger. I made a new years resolution to talk to a stranger everyday (something I read on a blog as an idea to overcome shyness). Unfortunately, after about a month of really doing this I feel worse than ever. At best people react neutrally when I try to initiate a conversation and more likely they pretty much reject me totally. So after a month of trying to overcome my fears I have come to realize that my fears were actually very justified. So what now?

Raffi Bilek Says...

R. Bilek

LCSW-C

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Much ink has been spilled on the topic of shyness and social phobia, which it sounds like you may be struggling with (although lots more information is needed before a diagnosis could be made).

Whether or not your particular problem is severe enough to warrant a diagnosis, I believe you could benefit a lot from seeing a counselor to help you deal with this. A trained professional could help guide you through the steps and work with your individual needs and strengths.

Self-help books are great, but they can't replace a human being who can give you the personal attention you need. Your problem is not insurmountable; you just need the right kind of help.

Good luck, and feel free to contact me if I can be of further help.

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Page last updated Jan 31, 2013