Multiple Family Problems Can't Be Solved By Asking Questions Online

Question

Hello, I have a daughter and I just found out from my wife (we are divorced and my daughter still lives with her mother) that she has been acting bad. She is chasing after boys especially ones with a bad reputation and she has been dressing promiscuously. She is talking back to her mother or anyone with authority. Which I do not understand because she is 27. She is smoking and drinking, still going clubbing. Why is she so bad? My wife told me that she is sneaking boys to the house when her mother is gone out of town or throwing parties when her mom works late. What is worse is when I told my son of her unruly behavior he laughed and encouraged it. My wife took her phone and found all these songs about sex and drugs- which my daughter pays for and took her make up and so my daughter stole money from my wife to get all new make up. My wife is upset and wants me to do something about it. Why is so she bad?? And what can I do?

David Johnson · Accepted Answer

Mr Nelson:
It is apparent from your series of questions that you have a lot of difficulty with your adult children. Clearly you see many problems in your children, but it suggests you and your ex-wife may have major difficulties with setting limits with them. I also get the impression that there could be some deeper mental health issues that could be emerging from the family history. These problems need to be brought to a team of professionals who work together including a psychiatrist, a psychologist and perhaps other counselors. Look for a mental health clinic with comprehensive services. That is of course only possible with the cooperation of your son and your daughter. If they refuse to cooperate, you and your ex-wife need to see someone to plan your action together. Without a cohesive coordinated response, you and your ex-wife will be left to run from fire to fire with a bucket of water, never really addressing the bigger issue. It makes little sense to keep asking questions here for this complicated issue. Please seek the help you need in a professional office.

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