A sense of humor
Jill Edwards Says...
OK so no one really likes me at work but the reason why is because people think I am an asshole. I saw this old lady drop her groceries today and I thought it was funny and laughed and then all my workmates looked at me like I was really mean. One person said I was an asshole. I do not like it when people do not like me. But usually people do not like me. I do not know how to change the way I am because I am just the way I am. Is there any hope that I can change?
As soon as you want to change, you will begin to change. It may not feel comfortable, but you will be on your way.
You are not alone in finding someone elses misfortunes funny. There are lots of TV programmes which show things going wrong for others as entertainment. Seeing something go wrong can also make people anxious and this can also make people laugh.
However, in order to see the funny side of these events, you have to shut out your understanding of what it is like to be that other person. When you do not understand what is happening for someone else, then you do not respond the way others expect you to.
So I invite you now to watch what happens to other people, imagine it happening to yourself and see what help you would like in those circumstances. For a while, just watch, get intelligent about the needs of other people. Watch also how other people help each other and see what happens. Speculate in your mind what you might do in the circumstances you meet. Think about what it would be like if you cared for people you meet. When you experiment with new behaviour, dont do it at work first. When you are used to being more compassionate to others, then start slowly being different at work.
You may like to repeat this Buddhist prayer:
May all sentient beings enjoy happiness and the causer of happiness
May all sentient beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering
May all sentient beings not be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering
It helps you towards love, compassion and joy.
Congratulations on moving beyond being an asshole!
If you would like to continue this conversatiuon, then contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Page last updated Jan 14, 2013