Is My Son Gay?

Question

I am pretty sure my son is Gay but he has not come out to anyone. I found some magazines in his room that are pretty conclusive. I am not surprised as I had been wondering for a while if he maybe was. I did not tell him what I found. Now that I know should I bring up the subject with him or should I let him work through this at his own speed without pressuring him. It is not a big issue with me and I think that he knows I will be supportive, but he is probably worried about everyone else in his life. He is 16, by the way.

David Johnson · Accepted Answer

First let me congratulate you on your open mind. You son is very lucky to have you.

Coming out is a very complicated process. Many per-adolescents are sure about their sexual identity. Some adults aren't!

It would appear that your son is at least toying with same sex attractions. The fact that he left the magazines around, he likely expects you may find them. I'm sure you've found other interesting things in his room that you've approached him about. This maybe an unconscious wish, or a round about way to start a difficult conversation with you.

I think you should ask him about what you found. Be sure to reassure him that you love him regardless. Don't assume anything about what you've found or what his response is. Same sex attraction is confusing and embarrassing for the most open minded and self-aware teen. I'd bet he wishes he could comfortably talk to someone accepting about it. He may not be ready to do that yet, but he may just be inviting you know and perhaps to ask once in a while.

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