Home \ Expert Q & A \ Sex Addiction \ Sex Addiction: Dr. Shirley Schaye \ Sex with others is OK if your partner is in agreement with having an open relationship. If she is not then it's not ok.
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Sex with others is OK if your partner is in agreement with having an open relationship. If she is not then it's not ok.

answered 10:33 AM EST, Mon July 30, 2012
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anonymous anonymous
Is what is labeled sex addiction in a large percentage of cases simply an attempt by the medical establishment to further pathologize normal human behaviors for fun and profit? I believe in open relationships and I do not believe in monogamy and I do not believe that men are designed for monogamy from an evolutionary perspective. I have always enjoyed open relationships and now my partner seeks to close what was happily open and our 'therapist' tries to paint me with a sickness label that I do not have. I will have sex with 1 or more new partners per week on average. I enjoy this and I am not deceptive about what I do nor has my behavior escalated over the last 20 years. I am just a man doing what feels good, and that is having as much sex as I can without hurting anyone. Does that sound like sex addiction to anyone?

Dr. Shirley Schaye Says...

It's not a matter in your case of whether it is sex addiction or not. Let's back up here. From what I understand you are in a relationship and you have been seeing a couples therapist. If you are comfortable with having sex with  one or more partners per week then you shouldn't be in a relationship with a woman who is not accepting of this. It is not my place to judge you on your sexual behaviour. However, it is important that if this sexual behaviour is what you prefer then you should choose to be in a relationship with someone who is accepting of an open relationship. Clearly, your present partner is not. That is where the problem is. So, you need to ask yourself what is important to you. Having an open sexual relationship and therefore choosing a partner who is accepting of this or staying with your present partner and dealing with the sexual encounters with other women that your partner does not approve of. So it does not seem that you are having as much sex as you can without it hurting your partner. Hey, if it doesn't hurt your partner then go for it. It's your choice.

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Page last updated Jul 31, 2012

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