Debbra McCaffrey Bronstad

Boyfriend's Ex-wife Visits and Brings Him Gifts - How Do I Stop It?

I am really having a problem with my boyfriend and I am unsure about whether or not I should continue this relationship. We have been dating for just over a year and I have recently moved in with him. This is a bit quick but I love him and it made an enormous amount of financial sense for us to do this given where we live and work. Anyway, I would say that we are on the marriage track. He was previously married and has a child from his first marriage, a boy who is 4. He divorced 2.5 years ago. The issue is ever since we moved in together his ex wife keeps trying to wedge herself into our relationship. She brings gifts over all the time and ‘just drops by for coffee’ when she is in the neighborhood and when she knows I will not be there. It is clear to me that she is trying to mess up our relationship if not trying to get back together with her ex. My boyfriend says I am overreacting and that he needs to maintain friendly relations for the sake of his son. I can understand this but this is something more. I feel that this situation is intolerable and he does not validate my concerns. If I press too hard it always seems as though I am trying to wreck his relationship as a father. I am at a loss. This is going to destroy our relationship and I don’t know how to stop it.