Answered questions(4)
Anger and Other Emotions
My dad passed on his bad temper to me. He was a very harsh man and when he got angry it was quite scary for my brother and me. He didn't hit us often but he would spank us with his belt when he was really mad. I swore I would never be a parent like him but now that my son is 6 and my daughter is 4 I can see that I often can't control my anger and I am too hard on my children and that they are scared of me like I was of my dad. This is not what I want. I feel like I cannot control myself when I get very angry with them. How can I learn to stop getting so angry so I can be a better dad to my children?
Read answer →Fear of Commitment
I have really hard time with relationships with friends and also with girlfriends because I always get really suspicious that they are talking about me behind my back or disrespecting me or using me for my money and I always blow up at them or cut them out of my life. It has happened so many times that I find out later that I was wrong but whenever I try to make up for it after the fact it never really works out because of what I said in the heat of the moment. Right now I am very alone and in a bad place. I know that I am like this and that I don't act rationally but I keep repeating the same pattern over and over again so I also know that I cannot control myself. What do I have to do to learn to change so I can manage to keep a friendship or relationship for more than a few months?
Read answer →Cooling your anger
What's better for anger management, yoga or meditation? I have to get control of my temper but I am not really the kind of guy who would normally do either activity so I am kind of lost. Someone at HR suggested that I try one after I lost it at a subordinate this week.
Read answer →Couples Counseling
My wife and I do not have a very happy marriage. There is nothing really wrong but I am afraid I no longer feel like I am in love with her and I think that I, and maybe both of us, would probably be happier on our own or with other people. I have not really spoken this out loud to my wife because she would be devastated by the idea of ending our marriage and so until I am sure it is something we should do I should not bring it up. We don’t really fight that much and we get along OK, but there is just very little spark between the two of us anymore. If it were just the two of us I would just go ahead and do it, but we have 2 small children. I talked to my dad about what I should do and he told me to basically suck it up and that it was not fair to the kids to break up the family while they are still young, especially since there is nothing really dramatically wrong in the marriage. Basically he said I was selfish to put my own need for happiness and excitement in front of the needs of my small children for a dad in the house. I love my kids and I want to do what is right for them but I also don’t want to waste my life away wishing I were somewhere else. At what age are children more able to handle divorce and a dad who doesn’t live at home anymore?
Read answer →