I have a secret cocaine habit that is getting out of control. I don't know how things got so crazy so fast. I did a few lines at a party after like 20 years of not thinking about the stuff like a year ago and now I can't go a few hours without a bump. The problem is I am a single dad of 2 teenage girls. I know I need to go to rehab but if I do I am going to lose custody - but if I don't go I don't now what is going to happen. I feel so squeezed and the only thing way I know how to deal with this problem doesn't seem to be helping any more. I tried NA and it was a joke. I went out to my car after the meeting and got high right away. I think my girls know something is off with me but I don't think they know what the problem is. How do I get better when I just can't get away for more than a couple of days?
Don’t you think it will be likely that you will lose custody if you don’t get help?
This can only get worse. You have to do something to get sober…like really soon before you risk everything.
I think you know that.
Do you also know that your girls probably know more than you think they know? Could they be confused and frightened by your behavior? Have you ever sat down with them and talked---really talked about what they think is ‘off with you’?
Have you considered getting someone---perhaps a trusted friend or family member to watch the girls? Have you considered seeing an outpatient substance abuse counselor? Have you checked into attending a non- NA/AA Non- Twelve Step Recovery-Type of meeting like Smart Recovery?