In Christian recovery, the 9th of Christian 12 steps demands that you make amends for past wrongs, except for when through the act of making amends you would cause undue harm.
We harm others through our selfish actions while using and abusing, and we need to make up for those harms.
But although through making a full Christian amends to those that you have wronged, you do find considerable peace, you do not make amends for yourself…and this is a considerable and vital distinction to make.
You make amends for them, not for you, and although through making honest and full amends you will benefit, if you approach it as something that you are doing for yourself, you will get little from it.
We cause pain through our selfish acts of ego, and to unravel some of this pain, we need to surrender our ego to the act, and approach the making of amends with an empathetic view, acting in such a way as to put the wellbeing of those we have harmed before our own.
If you do truly put the wellbeing of others first, and approach step 9 completely unselfishly, completely empathetically; you will come to benefit and you will find a great deal of peace.
If you approach the making of amends as something that you are doing "for your peace and wellbeing" then you will find little of it!
You need to make things right with your God, with your community and with your family, and an honest participation in step 9 of the Christian 12 steps can help to bring you home.
Page last updated Aug 05, 2010