Jill Palmer
LPC
Counselor/Therapist
Austin, USA
Answers questions in Anger Management · Anxiety · Bullying
About Jill Palmer
I worked in high tech for 17 years. I was a full part of the rat race, stress, working too many hours, chasing a paycheck, and avoiding all things calm and steady. I was very unhappy so I decided to make a life change. I'm now a licensed professional counselor and love life again. If I can change my life drastically, so can you.
What I do
I work in a private practice in Austin, TX. I enjoy working with clients struggling with finding happiness in their lives. Together we can come up with a plan on how to get you on the path to happiness.
My story
I worked in high tech for 17 years. I was a full part of the rat race, stress, working too many hours, chasing a paycheck, and avoiding all things calm and steady. I was very unhappy so I decided to make a life change. I'm now a licensed professional counselor and love life again. If I can change my life drastically, so can you.
Why life is worth living
we all have something beautiful to offer each other.
Treatment Offered
Specialties
Therapy approaches
Patient population
Modalities
Answered Questions(20)
Common among dancers: Anorexia and general eating disorders
My 11 year old daughter is a very competitive and talented ballerina. She is entering into puberty and she is struggling with her changing body shape. She is very concerned about gaining weight and changing her lithe shape. Her coaches seem to encourage her to stay slim. She is not fat at all but she has put herself on a 2100 calorie per day diet and she is very careful about writing down everything she eats and sticking to her limit. This may sound like a lot but she trains for 3 or 4 hours on an average day. I don’t know whether to applaud her determination or to worry about her obsession. Should I be concerned?
Read answer →When I am busiest I feel the least anxious
I take SSRIs for GAD. I keep it fairly well under control but it flares up and worsens every few months. I have a very demanding job and I am under a great deal of stress most of the time. I know that the crazy stress I put myself through worsens my disease but paradoxically, when I am busiest I feel the least anxious. It’s like I don’t have the time to start ruminating about stuff. When things slow down at work and when I have some time to myself that is always when the anxiety gets much worse. I feel as though I am in a bit of a catch 22 situation and I am not sure how to get out. I manage it by trying to stay ridiculously busy all the time but this is not an ideal situation for me since I am now a new dad and I also want to be able to spend a good amount of time with my family. Do you have any suggestions that might be useful to me? Thank you for taking the time to answer this question.
Read answer →Weight Loss Surgery vs. Lifestyle Changes
I am 14 and I am 5 feet 9 inches tall and I weigh 268 lbs. I hate exercise and whenever I try to do anything with sports people just make fun of me so I don’t usually do too much. I want to have the stomach surgery but my mom does not agree that it can be for teenagers. I can’t lose weight on diets I have tried so many times and after a couple of days of being good I lose control and eat even more than ever. How old do you have to be before you can get surgery?
Read answer →Breathing Exercises when Bullied
There’s this supervisor at work that bullies me. He is always belittling me and he always waits until he has an audience before he criticizes whatever I do. I know I need to stand up to him but he stresses me out so much that as soon as I even see him coming my heart rate starts pounding and I can never ever think of any comeback to the insults he throws ‘jokingly’ my way. I go on overload and I can’t think whenever he is around. I am not this way around anyone else. The fact that I can never defend myself just makes it all the more funny to him. How can I learn to get control of myself so I can behave normally and stand up for myself around this jerk. Is there some deep breathing exercise or something I should be doing?
Read answer →Schizophrenia - Screening for Pyroluria
My brother has late onset schizophrenia and my sister in law recommended that I get tested for pyroluria which they think caused his disease and which apparently can run in families. I had never heard of pyroluria before and the information on the internet is confusing and contradictory. Should I get tested for this condition or is it a waste of time and a made up disease?
Read answer →Using laxatives and throwing up to manage weight?
My son is a very good high school wrestler trying to get a scholarship this year. His coach wants him at 160 and he is very strong and competitive at that weight but it is very hard for him to maintain it and it is probably 20 pounds less than he would be normally. He will use laxatives and make himself throw up to get to weight before weigh ins and now he is obsessed with what he eats all the time. I want to see him succeed but it is starting to feel wrong to put his body through this. Is it dangerous for him to try to stay so far below his natural weight for wrestling and how will I know if he is doing himself harm. I am worried he is becoming mentally unwell about eating.
Read answer →Fear of Public Speaking
I am terrified to speak in public. I have done it a few times as an adult but only after having a bunch of drinks to calm down or lose my fear. I have to give a conference presentation in a month and I am terrified, and since I don't think getting half cut before my presentation would win me any points with my supervisors. I have to figure out a way to do this sober. I've got 36 days. What do I do?
Read answer →Dieting Yo-Yo
I feel like my eating is getting out of control and I am gaining weight and I am not sure what to do about it. Maybe I need some help? I am 20. All through high school I did a lot of sports and I never gained weight. When I moved out and started to work 2 years ago I started to slowly gain some weight and then by about a year ago I had gained 15 pounds and I knew that I was no longer one of those people that just didn’t get fat from good genes or whatever. So I started to diet. I kept a food journal and counted calories/limited carbs. It was not too difficult honestly and I lost weight slowly but steadily. Then once I got down to a weight I was feeling good about I decided to ‘maintain’ by eating carefully all week and then eating whatever I wanted to on the weekends. It started off OK but after a few weeks I was just pigging out so much that I was gaining back all the weight I had lost. So I went back on the diet all the time and things were going Ok until I let loose over Christmas time and I just pigged out and gained even more and I was the heaviest I had ever been. Now I am going like a week or two on the diet and then a few days off where I just pig out and binge and then I feel so disgusted with myself that I start dieting again. Now all I can think about whether I am dieting or pigging out is food all the time. I am heavier than I have ever been and I look terrible and I feel ashamed of myself.
Read answer →What is emotional abuse?
How do I know if the way my partner treats me is emotional abuse or not. We have been together for 9 months and are living together. He often makes me feel stupid for no reason but when I ask him why he does this he says he is just kidding and why cant I take a joke and then he makes me feel like I am no fun at all to be with and he won't talk to me for a day or so. I love him but sometimes i am not sure if the way he makes me feel is healthy for me.
Read answer →Engineer with Social Anxiety
I am a 38 year old engineer. I am reasonably successful at work and I am blessed with a lovely wife and with 3 fantastic children. My wife is great and she is my best friend. I am blessed except I have no real male friends. I don't know why this is but after high school, when I had lots of buddies, I have had a lot of trouble making friends with other men. I can be quite relaxed and joking with my family but when I am with people outside of my family I get really tight and I become this other more serious person. I can recognize after about 20 years of failures that people don't really like this other guy, my public persona, but even though I know this I cannot really change how I act around people. I am wondering if a psychiatrist could help me I guess. I feel foolish to be writing this even but my wife has convinced me I might be happier if I could get past this in life.
Read answer →Getting bullied
I get bullied a lot and called gay because I am smaller and not into sports and because the people in my school are assholes. Last year my English teacher totally picked on me too for no reason at all, like when we were doing class readings he would make me do the girl parts so everyone would laugh. He made it all into a big joke and when I complained to the principal they totally took his side and we had this meeting where he gave me this phony sincere apology and everyone believed him that he was just trying to be a fun teacher but then after that he would stare me down in class and in the hall and it was scary. He hates me and I don't know why. This year he is my home room and English teacher and I am really scared of what is going to happen. My parents think I am making it all up for 'drama'. I don't know if I can take another year of this. How do I get him to back off without making the situation worse than it already is? I am also considering moving to stay with my cousin and working while doing my GED if it doesn't get any better.
Read answer →Anxiety over loud noises
How do I deal with loud noises when I am feeling very anxious. When I am having a bad day a door slam down the hall or a loud motorcycle or even someone laughing loudly suddenly can almost drive me crazy, like for real crazy...not regular anxiety crazy lol...! It's a big issue for me. Is there any way I can minimize the effect loud noises have on me? I don't expect that there is but I am just asking in case you can think of something that have not.
Read answer →Bulimia and Pregnancy
My friend is 6 weeks pregnant and still binging and throwing up. She swears she is going to stop soon. She does not want to lose the baby. How dangerous is bulimia for a pregnant woman?
Read answer →Threatening Suicide
My sister is 17. She broke up with her boyfriend last night. He is 23. They were video chatting and he was begging her to take him back. Eventually he grabbed a butcher knife and held it to his own throat and said he was going to kill himself unless she gave him another chance. He swore he would change (he had not been treating her very nicely and was controlling which was why she was breaking up) and begged her to give him another chance. She said OK. I think she did not know what else to do. So know they are back together again but it’s like it is against her decision. He is forcing them to stay together. What can I do to help her get free from this guy? Is what he is doing against the law? I feel like he needs to be locked up to deal with some serious mental problems.
Read answer →Spending Time on the Internet
I enjoy the internet and I am out of work at the moment. I spend most of my waking hours online but I do not think I have a problem, it is just something that I like to do. Is there anything intrinsically wrong with spending 16 hours a day online?
Read answer →When is purging serious?
I sometimes make myself throw up after a really big meal or whenever I feel like it. I don’t do it too often, probably no more than 5 or 6 times in a month. Because I don’t do it too often I want to know if I am at risk of becoming bulimic?
Read answer →Phone Sessions for Social Anxiety Disorder
Hi Jill, I have a friend who needs guidance regarding social anxiety disorder. She is a really nice lady and is looking for somebody to talk to (on the phone). In particular she is looking for a Christian guide, counselor or sponsor and a 12 Step background would also help. Do you do that, or do you know anybody who does? Thanks in advance.
Read answer →Daughter Being Bullied
My 7th grade daughter comes home crying a lot after school because of a group of popular girls who are bullying her. They do not ever hit or punch her or do anything that is too obvious but they are tormenting her psychologically. They invite everyone to parties but make sure she never gets an invite. They call her names and make other people in her class laugh at her. They write notes about her and pass them around the class. Basically they are trying to do whatever they can to make her feel like she is worthless…stepping on her when she is down. My daughter is a little bit shy but she is a very sweet and smart kid and she does not deserve the way she is being treated. I have talked to her teacher. She says that she can see that some of the girls are not very nice to my daughter but she says that since there is nothing physical it is very hard for her to catch anything that is going on and intervene. The teacher is at least sympathetic and I feel like she is on my side in this but the principle is useless. His attitude seems to be that girls of this age are mean to each other and that’s just the way it normally is and he’s not going to get involved unless there is blood in the hallway, basically. What should I do? I do not know what to do at this point other than to get in touch with the parents of the girls who torment her myself. I have not done so yet because my wife thinks it’s something that could go badly and my daughter is begging me not to. So what should I do? I know how hard this can be on a kid and I know how seriously girls of her age need the approval of their peers.
Read answer →"Normal" Stress vs. Problem Stress
I accepted a new job in London in Dec. We decided it was too tough on the kids to bring them out in the middle of the school year so we decided that I would go first and get us all settled over there and the rest of the family would join us after the school year ended. I am currently working 3 weeks on and 1 week off back at home with the family. The hours and stress of the new position are considerable and there is substantial European travel as well as the twice a month Trans-Atlantic flights. Most days I leave my hotel room before 8 and if I’m back by 9 at night I count myself lucky. I have started to have frequent and reoccurring headaches, twisting feelings in my stomach and I will sometimes feel my pulse just racing for no reason at all. I feel stressed all the time and it is interfering with my abilities to think clearly and perform to an acceptable standard on the job. I also have a real nagging worry that I am making a big mistake with this new job and that my family is going to suffer some terrible fate from my selfish need to get ahead at work. I am starting to wonder if the way I am feeling all the time is not caused by normal job stress but maybe instead I am getting some sort of mental illness. I really don’t feel well psychologically. What worries me the most is that my feelings of stress don’t really abate when I am on my weekly vacation periods once a month back home with the family. I am normally able to turn work off when home with my wife and kids but these last few weeks I still have the nervous feeling in my stomach even when I am supposed to be feeling relaxed. How can I know if the way I am feeling is normal due to increased job stress related to a new position or if is caused by something deeper that is wrong with my mental health?
Read answer →Internet Pleasure
Whenever I sit down at my computer and start into my routine of the sites that I always check through first thing I always feel like this wave of pleasure and contentment and focus and I get really annoyed if anyone tries to talk to me when I am online, but especially during this first few minutes. I spend about 7 or 8 hours online per day. My wife thinks I am addicted to the internet and I am not sure if she is right or not. I don’t think that my internet use causes any problems in my life, although my wife does complain sometimes that I am never around to help her with stuff or hang out as much as we used to. Anyway, is the pleasure I feel when I get online a normal thing, or is that a sign that my wife is right and that I am addicted to the internet?
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