Jill Pepe

Jill Pepe

East Syracuse, NY, USA
Age:
52
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My Story
“I am married to an alcoholic whom is trying to finally become a recovering alcoholic. He has wanted to stop drinking many many times in the past. He has cried about wanting to stop. We have had many late night conversations about doing it and why he couldn't do it or can't at the moment. His biggest worry is the fact that he is afraid of the person he might become. He has drank for most of his life, more now than when I first met him it seems. What changed and finally sunk in was the fact that he has been diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. As a spouse I have been a co dependent so I could spend more time with him. That didn't work out well because I have really never been more than a three drinks in one night person and the spins suck. My husband has no idea what they feel like because he can drink endlessly and still not get the spins or get sick. I have been the wife acting like his mother kind of role. I have been the bitch wife, constantly bitching about finances, his time 'not' home, his sex drive and his short temper and anger issues. We have talked sensibly about his wants and the why's and what are we going to do about this disease that me not being an alcoholic just couldn't get a grasp on. I just couldn't get my head into his understanding and his way of thinking.
Now that he has been diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the liver he has quit drinking and "YES" I am very proud of him. and he has quit smoking as well. He's been drinking for close to 40 years. My concerns now are his mood swings and short temper. We are experiencing or maybe It's just me, self esteem issues. I'm afraid to say anything to him for fear of making him angry. I don't want to walk on eggshells though. He makes me feel feel like my IQ is not high enough to have a conversation. It's like a competition as to who is going to win the right to take over a conversation and who's story is more important. We can get into an argument over the weather report. OMG! I just want to scream at times. I didn't do a load of laundry yesterday and he gets so upset and mad. I didn't hear what he said the day before and he bit my head off. I don't know what I should be doing right now. I want to support him, I've been trying this whole time so why do I feel like running more now than before after all these years? I know he is going to change but how much? I'm so confused now. I'm choking up just typing this. HELP! I need some insight as to what to expect as a wife of a recovering alcoholic.”
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Jill Pepe's Most Recent Activity on Choose Help

  • 1
    03:50 - Jan 27, 2015 Recovery is Not Easy on the Family

    I am married to an alcoholic whom is trying to finally become a recovering alcoholic. He has wanted to stop drinking many many times in the past. He has cried about wanting to stop. We have had many late night conversations about doing it and why he ...

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