Penny Bell
VerifiedMaster of Counselling, Grad Dip Counselling, Adv. Dip. Counselling & Family Therapy, M. College of Clinical Counsellors ACA, M. College of Supervisors ACA, Reg. Supervisor CCAA.
Counselor/Therapist
Killarney Vale, NSW, Australia
Answers questions in Adult ADD / ADHD · Anxiety · Christian Recovery
About Penny Bell
I have been counselling for over 25 years now, and for the past 15 years have been training and supervising counsellors. I'm married with 4 adult children and 8 grandchildren. I live by the sea and love walking along the beach in the afternoons.
What I do
I am a counsellor, clinical supervisor and lecturer with extensive experience in private practice, supporting individuals, couples and families through complex emotional and relational challenges. I have particular interest in working with adults who have experienced childhood trauma and attachment difficulties, and a person's sense of self and identity, as well as with neurodivergent individuals and couples, including those with autism and ADHD, using neurodivergence-affirming strengths-based approaches that honour diverse ways of thinking, feeling and relating. I provide supervision to both emerging and experienced practitionars and I am a member of the ACA College of Supervisors.
My story
I have been counselling for over 25 years now, and for the past 15 years have been training and supervising counsellors. I'm married with 4 adult children and 8 grandchildren. I live by the sea and love walking along the beach in the afternoons.
Why life is worth living
it's filled with wonderful people!
Treatment Offered
Specialties
Therapy approaches
Patient population
Modalities
Answered Questions(60)
Tips for looking after yourself whilst caring for a depressed family member
How do I keep sane whilst helping my adult son with depression
Read answer →Clear boundaries lead to better family relations
Hi Thanks for your message. the family dynamics is what is happening you are right. My romantic relationship that was supportive on the side has been complex now too as it really was initiated (this was an ex boyfriend from years ago who as a friend I have been in touch with on and off as my real estate agent) I ran to him when these things with family made me run away. over the years I have realized how supportive he has been and my feelings and decisions though real in terms of wanting a long term thing with him, have been clouded by my neediness and vulnerability due to my family drama. This has caused me to get too close to fast and now back track, didn't completely sleep with him but pulled back, now he is distant and he has been my support system. I have asked him about it now as he knows I was vulnerable and though it was his idea to take it slow now so he would also know my feelings for him are real, I need him during this time and his support is invaluable to me. As for counseling I have gone to counseling because of need to figure out healthy relationships (as didn't see it in my family) on and off for years. CBT has helped me but my family I cannot change. They would never come to counseling with me and I feel like they may go on their own and that's fine but you are right that communication is a big issue and not listening to each other. But my brother will listen to my mom, but not to me, my sister out of helplessness and really evil I would say paints my mom and I as the crazy ones since she has big issues with my mom and because I don't allow her to use me or manipulate me. it's so unhealthy I need my sister to be cut off and the only people I could work on are my mom to the extent possible (and I have told her any drama she brings into my life I will not participate in not over text not in person not in any way) which has for now at least made her tone it down a bit. She is more vocal and rude to me when her family is around her and she takes their side over me. The danger with her is she has no borders, no respect for privacy that has caused many issues; I cannot trust her with any info If I am upset with a family member and I tell her, she goes and attacks them, the same happened when she told my brother and he attacked me, so this not dealing with the person directly is a big issue. I will only deal with the person directly in future if I choose to have a relationship at any distance, but I can't change them, they will continue as they have.....it's unhealthy. I needed to get out. even though my brother and mother have reached out to me, I am uncomfortable with both of them still, but time is helping me get a bit easier with my mom, but just texting I still don't want to talk to her. when she calls I don't pick up avoiding her. But I know I need to see her and even if small time frames at a time communicate with her. the trust is so low I haven't let her know where I live just that I am in a nice new place nearby. I don't trust her to keep it to herself and tell my brother who might show up here. I don't trust him now as way he attacked me verbally condescending over text because of my mom. So he and I am not sure how I can deal with all these all at once, so I am letting myself have distance and jsut taking mini steps with my mom now. and will allow her to only treat me with respect and no drama and act healthy or it will affect our relationship she needs to understand. with my brother not sure what can happen....he has embarassed me in front of our family and and bullied me I feel and even though we had zero issues before these dramas he and I get pulled into, and my sister painting me as someone I am not, he gets affected by that and that bothers me a lot....... it's too much all of it to handle at once, so I can only handle what I can and step back. I want to move on with my life too as I am looking for work, during this whole ordeal I was also fired, I know I was distracted at work but also in a new industry I didn't think was the right fit for me so it's ok but I need to focus to find new work and handle this romantic relationship too.....
Read answer →How do I cope when family life becomes too hard to deal with?
Hi Penny I have been going through a few months of unbelievably difficult family drama involving extended family affecting my mother whom i love dearly and me the most but overall bad fallout on everyone. The issues are related to immediate family first extended family has made worse. The biggest 2 issues I need to deal with are my sister's manipulation for years out of jealousy, hate, resentment I can't understand where she has on purpose planting in my brother's and now possibly extended family trying to ruin my reputation and make me seem not credible to make me feel small by spreading rumours about me being delusional....this is very painful and strictly meant to manipulate. It has affected my relationship with my brother and because of it even after reaching out to her for a healthy respectful relationship she could not handle it for more than a couple of weeks. there is too much hate in her for me and I have decided the best thing is to cut her out of my life for good due to her going to far and continuing to try to hurt/attack my soul. This means I won't see my little niece/nephew either. The drama has caused my mom betray me by listening to manipulation by my uncle and his wife, but even though they have tried to distance her from me and made her weak then brainwashed her against me, she knows me better and how loyal I have been to her, so she keeps reaching out to me but I have moved out of her house and extremely hurt she turned on me because of extended family. she also starts drama and then my brother has attacked me for it, being intimidating, condescending and verbally abusive. I have told him to stop or there won't be any relationship; I have no issues with my brother except for what others cause between us (i.e. my sister , my mom, my cousin) My cousin and uncle/wife and in combination with my brother /sister caused pain for my mom but it comes down to my sister, brother havign no respect and bullying my mom. my sister wants play that with me and she is not being allowed; I stop her...so she has no choice but to make me seem not credible to make me sound crazy, when she has had psychopathic tendencies writing death letters to my mom as a teenager, telling my mom to go die for years and sending me numerous belittling verbally abusive manipulative notes over the years. My brother has never been verbally abusive to me until the recent drama has made him go a bit coocoo it is all based on lack of respect I have told my brother as long as he is harmful in his communication and making feel not safe around him there will not be any relationship this is very difficult for me as I love him very much and we recently traveled together with zero issues, in fact it was so good, he was telling all about how his friends/colleagues who traveled with us loved me and he was proud of me. So it is clearly created by others all this drama he has been reaching out to me and it has been difficult for me to talk to him as he doesnt' know how our sister and extended family have used him too to cuase issues and affect my mom's health and cause issues between our whole family, and ironically when I have tried to protect my mom, he is using me as a scapegoat for someone to blame, attack, which I don't appreciate at all. it's affected my life , work, and romantic relationship I am in. Please help my mom and brother at least mean a lot to me but I want this extended family and my sister to have no contact as they use any chance to cause issues between these 2 people I care about and me. I have a hard time even going to have a lunch with my mom or brother when they reach out to me I can't handle my brother lecturing me when I haven't done anything; it hurts too much. I feel like telling him to not talk about this stupid drama that has nothing to do with us, he says he wants to talk about good brother/sister stuff only, but i feel that's just to pull me back to bully me again to accept guilt for stuff others done and my blood pressure has been up and I won't put myself through that if that's where a conversation goes. there has been injury done and he doesnt' get it.... I need to look for work right now and take care of my well being my dog and my relationship with someone special to me. :( how can I manage all this, it's like an avalance of problems only thing that has helped me cope somewhat has been this romantic partner, a couple good friends' support and meditation. Please help.
Read answer →How can I help my depressed son?
My son has become isolated over the last decade or so and I believe he is depressed but I do not know how to help him. He is 32 now and he does not have any real friends or social life. He had a steady girlfriend that lasted for a few years after the end of high school but nothing since then. He comes over for dinner with us on Sunday nights. It used to be like clockwork but lately he has been skipping visits here and there. I have tried to get him to come over more often since we are retired and have lots of time but he says he is too busy with his programming work. This does not really make sense since he barley makes ends meet. Since he started coding at home in his twenties he has forgotten how to be social in the regular world. I suspect he is depressed since he seems apathetic about everything and he does not take as much care into his appearance as he used to. To be frank, it smells like he has not showered for days when he comes over. When I try to press him on how he spends his time he gets defensive and retreats into a shell and when I tried to get him to talk to someone and I said I would pay for it he got very angry and upset and left early. This was last week. I wish I knew how to help him break out of this but I just don’t. What is my next good move?
Read answer →How do I get rid of my guilt feelings?
I did some work in the past that I do not feel very good about. I rationalized it in the past because I was just ‘following orders’ and if I didn’t do it someone else would have. It wasn’t my idea to do it I was just acting out someone else’s will. Really I can see know that I was just greedy for the money and willing to turn a blind eye to the consequences. Now I feel really bad about this and I am pretty sure that my work helped to cheat people. I can’t say exactly what I did because I might be admitting to a criminal offense. I can’t shake off my guilt now and it is really bothering me. What should I do now? I tired giving money to charity but it didn’t take my guilt away. I can’t take back what I did but the guilt is killing me.
Read answer →I need help with my ADHD and food addiction!
Is my ADHD the reason why I am addicted to food? It’s weird because most people that have ADHD are all fidgety and skinny but I am fidgety and really heavy. If I take Adderall is this going to help me to lose weight even if I am a food addict?
Read answer →How can I help my sister break out of her celebrity fantasy?
My older sister has infatuations with male celebrities that are so serious that they keep her from having real relationships. In her mind no real man thats around here compares to the people in her head and on posters on her walls. She is 33 and she still has posters like a little teenager on her bedroom walls. I am worried about her but am not sure how to get her to change. I think underneath it all she is scared to get hurt so she plays it safe by living in a fantasy world. I do not think she is happy but she is too scared to change. Whenever I or any of my friends has problems in our relationships she uses this as evidence against real love but she does not see the good part. She refuses to get fixed up. She is pretty but to my knowledge she has never had a real relationship in her whole life. Is there anything I can do for her? She is 10 years older than me so she has always acted like she is wiser but it is obvious that she is not.
Read answer →How can I get over my wife's passing?
I can’t get over my wife’s passing. She died of cancer a year ago last Tuesday. The anniversary was hard. My daughter wants me to see a psychiatrist because she says I am depressed. I am sad and I am lonely but under the circumstances I do not see why this is inappropriate. I know if I initiate this I will end up with a prescription for an antidepressant. There seems to be something perverse about taking a medication to erase sadness about my wife’s passing. I am not sure what to do.
Read answer →How can I help my friend who I think has bipolar disorder?
I have this friend who I think is bipolar or something similar. He doesn’t want to talk about it. I don’t know for sure but sometimes he seems very manic, talking a mile a minute, and sometimes he is very paranoid and depressed seeming. Maybe it is not true bipolar because he never seems to lose touch with reality completely but it is definitely soemthing. Usually I only see him in his manic phases because he won’t answer the phone for days at a time when he depressed and he won’t tell me where he lives even though we are sort of good friends. He has some very weird paranoia issues about people knowing too much about him. I have known him for 10 years and I like him and trust him. He house sits for me when I am frequently away. He just lost his part time computer job. It was pretty much data entry and didn’t pay much but he was surviving on it. I don’t know what got him fired but I have to guess it was erratic behavior. I actually lost it on him last night because I am trying to do a work renovation and I asked him to help out as labor so I could pay him a bit but he would not stop with his crazy ideas and interrupting everyone to consider his schemes. He apologized after and said he hasn’t been sleeping well for days. I offered to take him to a hospital and he won’t go. I said I would pay for his expenses to see a doctor and he still won’t go. I really want to help him but I do not know what to do and I am very worried about how he will survive. He has no family living in this country.
Read answer →How can I know and trust the integrity of this man?
Hi Penny, I am in a new relationship, I met him online on a site just for my own cultural background (same nationality). I have chemistry with this man at every level physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually. It felt overwhelming when I met him; I haven't been intimate sexually wt anyone, for 3 years since my ex fiance (just dated and making out) as I am waiting for someone special, so I know my hormones are at play here but I feel like we really think alike, so he has told me he loves me and first time EVER I have said it to him and I mean it. I am not a stupid girl I waited till 35 to lose my virginity with someone who became my fiance, I take these things so seriously, I know i don't know everything about this new guy and that he is not perfect; neither am I. I want to trust and be open, he wants to get intimate physically and says it's been 4 months for him and he is frustrated but that I satisfy him in every way, we are together, we are exclusive, he wants a long term serious thing wt me, he also says he didnt' think he 'd get married or want to, but with me he would. now he said these things when I've not gone over to his place for this first month of relationship and besides kissing we haven't done anything yet. I told him, I don't want to start something that will leave him frustrated at his place if I am not ready for it, and I want to be comfortable and get to know him better; I told him I need to be in a serious relationship and he says we are together meaning he wants to be with me long term. I have issues trusting and I really want to be with him sexually but I told him I feel pressured, and I have turned him down to go over to his place several times, he still comes around but he has expressed sexual frustration and he doesn't understand what the need is to wait and that I should ask him anything to know him, but the thing is I dont' want to listen to his words, I want to see his actions. Now he does what he says, when he says he 'll call he does, when he is wrong he says sorry, when he does something wrong he immediatly corrects himself, he goes out of his way to pick me up and make me feel comfortable when we go out, on his public career profiles a person describes him as a person with integrity people should hire as he does what he says, he is always on time etc. this is the person I am falling in love with, but he has said things that were a bit heavy to take in. when he was sexually frustarted he asked me if he was ok if he pleasured himself and I said that's fine then he said he has to think about his ex girl friend to get off, and I was shocked he said he hasn't been with me and maybe that's fresh in his memory, I got mad and told him well then just go wt her and he says he doesn't want to (mind you i think she might have broken up with him). I told him that he is trying to pressure me to have sex sooner by saying that, and I don't believe him, and for him to find someone he hasnt dated to fantasize about, he thinks that can addictive and not healthy, anyway I told him, I don't like being pressured, I know he wants to be with me badly, I want it maybe more than him, but I need to be ready and I won't do it just cause he wants it or to keep a guy;he said he'll find another way to get off, and I told him I don't mean outside the relationshp because he is saying I am his gf now, though when asked by a new couple we met publicly he didn't say anything (it has been only a month and a week we see each other and he was away almost 2 weeks in europe visiting family), so I wasn't expecting him to say anything but now he says he tells people he is out with his gf (me). I want him to say to others in public so I know I can trust him and he is not playing me. Also we are from a repressive regime, and he was in army training there over 20 years ago and very bad experience for him; he got arrested he says and was in jail a few months because he beat up an officer who was a bully and was mistreating him or others; he says that was really hard, it was hard for me to hear he was arrested, but then again if I was in his shoes and he is a man of integrity I can see how an unjust situation 'd lead him to that; also he was there 2 years with no water or electricity. Does this mean he is violent or a criminal? nothing else after this as far as I know in that country nor outside that country in north america. He has also told me that he was working on a project as an electrician at a house one time and saw a guy escape from a house the cops came around and asked if he saw anyone, in the moment he didn't say he did, but then he says they told him he was a rapist, and asked for his tools to shut the door to his front door so he 'd not or could not come back there to hide, he says he saw a great expensive camera there; his colleague was there too, he said to him this guy is a rapist, he is not coming back and so he took the camera. Again I told him I am not sure about what he told me. I asked him if he has done anything like that after and he said come on, of course not. I can see in that situation a criminal's stuff really what's the harm in taking it, but he himself says now that he was young and he didn't have to tell me this but he is because he is comfortable with me, but may be things he feels are not things he is proud of necessarily either and wants to see if I accept him despite his past/faults. My concern is the present though. He seems now like the type who doesn't want to hurt a fly, and in 20 years he has read spritual texts, and seems to have grown a lot as a person, so I am conflicted about his integrity and if I should let him close to me; we are very attracted to each other and I want to but not unless I know I can trust him 100% and I told him that; he had said to me he 'd wait for me 3, 6mnths whatever it takes one day but he was more frustrated a week later , because I haven't given him a timeline just said I need to be comfortable. I have moments where I can't imagine my life without him, and then try to be logical, and smart, so I think going towards full physical intimacy in stages now might be a good compromise but I am then worried from past experience how far is too far, he may then completely stop pursuing the relationship if he feels teased, he is already saying the way you kissed me i though we'd go to my place after. I am so conflicted and confused, please help.
Read answer →How much exercise is too much?
How are you supposed to know if you are getting too obsessed with looking good. I am a 22 year old guy who works out a lot and I am proud of my ripped physique. Sometimes people say I’m practically an anorexic cause I am so particular about what I will eat and what I won’t eat. I have single digit body fat and that doesn’t just happen. If I go out with my old friends I know I will eat too much and then I feel like shit after and they don’t understand this so now I mostly just hang out at the gym. They say I have a problem.
Read answer →How can I forgive myself for the way I treated my parents when I was an addict?
I cannot forgive myself for how I treated my parents when I was using. I stole from them I abused them physically and emotionally and verbally and I scared and bullied them so I could get what I wanted (money and drugs). I do not know why but they forgive me but I can’t forgive myself. I don’t want to think about these memories all the time but I am always remembering new scenes from the past that I had forgotten and every time it is like a kick in the stomach and the pain and shame and guilt is more than I can take. I am trying to take care of them financially. I feel like this is the way I can work to repay them for their kindness. But they are also a constant reminder of what I did in the past and I feel like I can’t take it anymore. I am 6 months sober from cocaine but I am hanging on by thread. I need to either forgive or forget. I am supposed to pray for forgiveness but I know I don’t deserve it.
Read answer →Is the Recovery Bible a helpful book?
Do you know the Christian Recovery Bible? Is it actually more helpful than the regular Bible for a person with alcoholism? This is for a gift for my brother who is in rehab now and I want to get him a graduation gift. Is there a Faith centered book for alcoholism that you would especially recommend other than the recovery Bible?
Read answer →How can I stop being so resentful?
How do you get rid of resentment? I realize that when I feel resentful I am slipping down toward relapse but I find that often when my mind wanders I start daydreaming and a lot of the time I am just remembering slights and mistreatments and imagining what I would have done differently etc etc etc. This happens to me all the time and I try to keep banishing these thoughts away but they always come back?
Read answer →No-one seems interested in my interesting life - how can I do better in social situations?
I am the most exciting boring person I have ever met. I honestly have a really interesting life. I have swam in the Amazon, been to Easter Island, gone skydiving, I ran with the bulls, I am writing a novel and a screenplay and on and on. Looking at my life objectively, no one could say it was dull. But when I talk to other people, even when I am telling them about all of the stuff I have done, people are bored with me. I cannot hold anyone’s interest and I never have the right thing to say. So I am trapped as an exciting boring guy. I hate this and I have no idea how to change. How can I learn to have witty pithy comments when my mind is just blank when with other people?
Read answer →How do I feel less nervous and shy in social situations?
I am very socially uncomfortable and shy. When I have to talk to people for any length of time that I am not comfortable with (most people beyond immediate family and a few close friends) I start to feel very nervous. The big problem is as soon as I start to feel nervous my face starts to go very obviously red. And as soon as I can feel my face flushing I start to feel even more nervous because I know the other person knows I am nervous and so it just gets worse. What can I do to stop this situation?
Read answer →Should I let my dying estranged father into my children's lives?
My husband was killed in a car crash last year. He was a fantastic dad to our children and we are not over his loss. Now we have a new death to deal with. I have been estranged with my father for more than 10 years. He was an angry alcoholic that did and said some truly unforgivable things. Well now he is dying and he wants to make amends and more than that he wants to meet and get to know his grandkids before he dies. They are 5 and 8 and they have never met him before. He only has a few months to live. He is not drinking now and I have decided to forgive as much as I can so I can have a relationship with him before he dies. This after much soul searching. But what I am not sure about is if it is fair to my children to introduce them to a man that can be very lovable and charming when he wants to be, and then they will fall in love with him and then he will die. I have to put them first. Would they be better off never feeling this trauma after all they have been through?
Read answer →How do I get rid of unwanted thoughts of harming others?
I can’t stop thinking about things that I do not want to think about. Like horrible thoughts about hurting people. This makes me sound like a crazy but I am not like that at all. I don’t want to have these thoughts and I don’t want to hurt anyone. I have never hurt anyone physically. But I will be just walking down the street and I will see someone walking toward me and I will just start imagining I am pushing him into traffic, for example. Sometimes it feels so real I get really scared that I am going to actually do it and I have to get away from the person. I started feeling like this a few months ago and it is getting worse all the time. I have told my friends but they don’t understand how I feel. They are not scared of me because they know me and they know I am gentle. This is getting intolerable and I want to get help. Who should I go to talk to and how do I explain what is wrong with me? I know it sounds like I am crazy but I am not AT ALL. I am never going to actually do anything I just hate thinking these thoughts.
Read answer →Do I have ADD?
I just got dumped again. I do not have a good track record with relationships. My brother in law says he thinks I have ADD. I am always drifting off and not staying focused on what people are saying so it always seems like I don’t care about other people even though I do. I am also hopeless about remembering important stuff, like birthdays and anniversaryes. I am 34 and I always thought I would just figure things out when I grew up but maybe that’s not going to happen. I am not sure what to do?
Read answer →How important are creative pursuits for mental health?
How important are creative pursuits for the living of a health and satisfying life? Do all people need creative outlets, like playing music or dancing or painting etc. or do only ‘creative people’ need these types of things to feel fulfilled and happy?
Read answer →How dangerous are first person shooter video games for my 11 year old?
My ex husband lets our son play violent first person shooter games when he goes over for the weekend. My son is 11. This has been a source of conflict for us in the past and we are trying to work together with more civility. I need to pick my battles carefully. How damaging is this to my son. I get concerned when I read that kids like Adam Lanza were addicted to these kinds of games. Is this a battle I need to fight?
Read answer →I have decided to turn my life over to God, but how do I believe in him?
I am ready to turn my life over to a higher power but I don’t really know how to do this. I have never been a religious person so I am not used to praying or church stuff. I am an alcoholic. What do I do if I have decided to believe in God. How do I make this happen? Or do I just read the Bible and try to live the way it ways to and it will come to me eventually? I can see that my questions don’t really exactly explain things but basically I want to know how to believe in God?
Read answer →I worry about everything! How can I stop?
What does it mean if I am always worried? To give you an example. I took my children to an outdoor puppet show last night. It was a really cool event and I should have been really enjoying it because the performances were spectacular but there was a threat of rain in the air and it was an open air event. I just felt this nagging undercurrent of worry and dread the whole time that it would rain and that it would all be a disaster. I don’t know why I was so worried because it wasn’t my problem to deal with, all we would have to do would be to dash to our car parked close by. But whenever the wind would gust a little I would just feel this dread and worry at the core of my being. And it kind of ruined my enjoyment of the show. This is just an example of how I worry all the time about stuff that is ridiculous for me to be thinking about. I also worry about my own problems but to start with I would at least like to stop worrying about other people’s problems. How do I do this?
Read answer →How do I resolve my sexual conflict?
I am the woman turning 40, engaged once in my mid 30s but to not the right person for me and broke it off; he was also my first sexual partner (going all the way that is); I did not wait until my mid 30s for any religious reasons, but I was brought up to wait for the one, though when I went for it with him, I think I just wanted to get it over with. It was a relief but the feelings after that came up (major insecurity, attachment, anxiety) was not good until I dealt with some of it. Before breaking up that engagement my mother put in my head he might be gay because he was very metrosexual and although I don't think so to this day, it has tortured me, and made me very scared to attract not a heterosexual male into my life, but someone pretending to be. Although I don't think my mom was right, who knows, this was very disturbing at the time, given this was also my first sexual partner (I had made out with lots of guys before but never gone all the way); since that relationhip that was 4/5 years ago, I have not been able to find or create a lasting one to lead to marriage; as I said I feel stuck; I am very aware I grew up in an environment with no lines/limits respected especially by mom, and as a single mom, I always tried to calm her/soothe her; but it cost me staying away from men and trouble and maybe miss out on some relationship skills early on; given that I have dated so much, guys find me attractive, and I have a kind heart, I have had no issues attracting one man after another,but now getting to 40 I am not necessarily everyone's # one choice if they want to have kids, nor do I want them to be; I want someone who wants a lifetime companion first, not just a baby making machine; I love babies and yes it hurts to think I may not have kids and I know I have option to go to sperm bank to do it; but I don't want that; I want to share that experience with someone I love, or I can leave it and if it's too late when I find the love of my life, I have love to give and then can consider adopting a child. My concern right now is how I haven't been able to maybe fully heal from my engagement and although I have dated plenty of men since then, I think for most of my life though these dates and the attention has been for my ego and to fill me up, rebellion against mom or just neediness; I want to enter the next one from a healthier place and I do want it to lead to marriage; I don't sleep with anyone unless it is as serious as leading to marriage, but as I am working on my trust with men so that I know when to trust them enough so that they don't just tell me what I want to hear to get close to me, I have considered waiting to have sex again until I am at least engaged; some say that is unrealistic, others don't think so, so I don't what's reasonable; any guy can tell you what you want to hear to get you into bed, so I am leaning towards waiting until I am at least engaged; I tried this with last guy but then going partially sexually didn't work and he was pissed off, even though he knew where I stood on the sex. in any case I find the sex gets in the way of my relationships getting to the next stage of being serious and i don't know if this is combined with my trust level which it does. Now I am scared though because I get very strong sexual urges and the other day out with a girlfriend , I met a guy who was very attracted to me and let him french kiss me and even feel me up; this is completely out of character for me for someone I just met; I was feeling down and had had a couple drinks but it made me think what you set about not knowing how to set boundaries or being assertive, while at the same time maybe the kiss by itself and the sexual curiousity was real; I felt good the next day as if it proved to me my attractiveness and I needed that, but then again it went too far; I am worth more than a quick rub down on a dance floor; what scares me is that I have been the most strict/concservative of all of my friends growing up and I know in my teens probably suppressed these feelings too much, and now I feel really wild and because of waiting so much, I feel like exploding; yes self-pleasure helps and is fine, however, I keep fantasizing about being with a man in different ways all the time and I don't want it to consume me. I am still not going to sleep with anyone unless in a serious,monogamous relationship, but I need a way to deal emotionally with these sexual urges; I feel like because I am not getting anywhere to marriage with men, it's hopeless and pointless to try to even date again, but in the meantime my hormones are driving me crazy as I feel something emotional/mental needs resolving so I can get unstuck and be able to trust in a healthy way and let someone in and have a long-term relationship with. Please help, I don't want to suppress my sexual feelings but is it healthy to make out once in a while with someone to let yourself, even though a quick make out session is not what you want; I feel like a whore, as much as I am the last thing from it; I don't want to go from guy to guy and make out with a 100 guys; I rather wait for one that is worth it and then trust and go all the way because I am sure it will lead to a life together, but how do I do that?
Read answer →How can I accept the things in our relationship that bug me?
My fiancée is really lazy. I have a small business and she benefits from it because I make more money than she does and so pay a lot more of the bills (we live together). She works only very part time. Now is my busy season at work and sometimes I ask her to help out with counter work or odd jobs when I get in a real bind. She’ll usually do it but she sulks and resents it. It drives me crazy. I love her dearly but I do not understand how she can watch me work 20 hour days and not want to help out when I need it most. I can’t seem to get over this and we have recurring fights about this same issue. Other than this we are great together. I do not think she will or can change. I love her and want to be with her so I want to change. How can I learn to let it go and accept her for who she is? I want to but I can’t help but get angry. I know it is me that has to make this work but I cannot figure out how to do it…
Read answer →How do I attract a marriage minded man?
I am turning 40 very shortly and the panic of possibly not having kids has caused me to not be able to focus on anything else in life for the last 3/4 years after I broke up with my now ex fiance who I am not sure was the right one for me and whom I got involved with too quickly as a result of being needy living alone from family & my mother's words regarding how just time to have one work. I didn't listen to my initial instincts and furious and still resentful at my mom about wasting so much time getting involved wt wrong guy but it was my decision at end of day and have tried to forgive her. My family dynamics is a mess with a verbally abusive sister and mother who doesn't understand lines of privacy nor limits and divorced parents, however I do not want to use any of this as much excuse to not have my life together. I am attractive and have dated more than the average woman; I easily attract men when I put myself out there, however my concern and disappointment is that I haven't found the one and I don't know if there is a one and what I am doing wrong to work with the next one I meet. I do not want to to go a sperm bank or adopt on my own. My having a happy life long relationship and companionship is more important to me and I don't want to become a voluntary single mom so not go have a baby on my own. I want to be happily married before seeing if it happens and then if not getting help together for it or adopting. I feel like since my ex fiance so much dating (almost too much) but I do not get physically close to them, and no one I have connected. I feel like something is blocked inside me. I should also mention that my mother put in my head that my ex fiance was gay and that was hard to deal with and I also don't know if he was or not, and that fear has actually made me very scared to trust. I know I have to trust and overcome these fears, and I truly want a healthy relationship with a man and concerned the good quality men are looking for a younger woman who can have kids. I do not want a man who just wants a baby making machine, so in a way I want a man who wants what I want first a life time companion, because you can have a woman or man that is younger who can not make kids and you have older women as old as 50 and attractive and healthy whom I have known to have healthy children with someone they wanted finally. So I have not settled. I feel stuck in the suburbs, this topic has affected my work life and taken over my psyche. I can relax and live my life but then this concern and the reality that I must settle down with someone now and have a child to be able to in this life time is not going to go away I have tried. I want to know why it is so easy for some women to get married and remarried (do they just take any crap just to be married?) and for someone like me whom men and women say is an amazing catch, I am being told I may intimidate men. A very good male family member told me to not waste time with men to tell them on the 2nd or 3rd date the truth which is that I won't sleep with anyone unless I am in a serious relatinship planning a life together first, and that I am not saying it is them that I am going to be necessarily be serious with, but to not waste his time or mine, to be clear from the start. I feel I haven't been and dating 1 person after another after another, has simply led to fun going out and nothing else which is not all I am after. I want a man who is just as eager if not more to also build a family now, after knowing me. I have heard of more than one occasion where 2 people that had enough experiences and knew what they wanted, were engaged in 2/3 months of spending lots of time together in different situations & getting to know each other well. They are happily married to this day, where as I know others who have been together for a long time and split and never got married, so I don't think there is a timeline, but I want to know why I feel in such a stuck place, and in a rut and every time a prospect doesn't work out, the pain of the disappointment and the time ticking away, gets harder. Please help this is very unbearable and it has taken over my whole life, I want a way to be at peace while still being able to open to this partner but I feel I am missing something because I am not finding him or doing something wrong or not being in the right environments? how do you attract a marriage minded man? I need to add I do meditate and that has given me some relief but also a push towards finding deep answers to my dilemma which I haven't been able to do on my own. I also do not want anyone religious that I am completely against. I want someone who is NOT after strict dogmatic beliefs diving him and then me from other groups of people, but someone who believes in universal spirituality and unity of human beings not divided up by labeled religions. I say that so you don't send me to church; I am at peace with my spiritual beliefs which is why I haven't given up, it is however the methods and understanding and clarity/skills I want to understand that attract a marriage minded male and a happy marriage/life long relationships. I know there are no guarantees but I would rather try than feel numb and stuck and down about it all the time by the sidelines watching everyone else's life (although I have at least a half dozen great ladies in the same shoes that maybe some of whom I feel have given up with their attitude). My attitude is there are great men out there looking for the same thing, and that if you do the right thing, it should come easy? so I am doing something wrong, help please!!!
Read answer →How can I help my teenage daughter have a positive body image?
I am an international school teacher. My family moved this year to Vietnam where I have taken a position as a headmaster. My daughters are 13 and 16. Both are healthy and beautiful, but they take after me and I have always been a little heavy through the hips and legs. It’s just the way we are built. My eldest daughter seems OK with her body image but my youngest daughter is just starting to gain a little weight and broaden and the fact that she now compares herself to all these very thin Viet girls she sees all day is not helping her confidence, nor is the fact that she can’t even fit into anything at the mall when she goes shopping. How can I help her with her body image problems, especially given the environment we live in for social comparison? She doesn’t say much about it but I can sense that she is not the same confident girl she was even 6 months ago.
Read answer →Is alternative medicine effective for childhood ADHD symptoms?
My brother passed away 2 years ago. My sister in law has what seems to be a pretty clearly an out of control ADHD son, who is 7. She very natural and homeopathic and she just will not consider getting him diagnosed because she doesn’t believe in conventional medicine and medications and anything that comes from a big corporation (it's all evil). My nephew is obviously struggling at school and none of the other kids in the family really want to play with him because he is so out of control. To my mind he needs some good medications, but since that’s not going to happen, are there any very ‘alternative’ therapies that my very alternative sister in law would possible go for or that could help my nephew fit in a little better with friends and God forbid, possibly learn something in class?
Read answer →How can I know that a man is trustworthy enough to let him get close to me?
Can an expert please share how a single woman that has had her parents go through a divorce and has watched her mother suffer as a single mom and become very negative, as well as have herself issues with men in relationships (though wanting desperately to do the right thing and create a beautiful thing), how does this single woman not give up and how do you know and at what stage do you know how to trust a man and let him get close to you physically and how do you NOT get emotionally involved too soon before know can trust him, so you don't get disappointed over and over and over? It is torture and very depressing to feel you can't get anywhere with any man you are attracted to and you always think they want to use you. Help please
Read answer →Is my wife addicted to the internet?
My wife is a stay at home mom. She is one of those iphone and ipad addicted people who check facebook in the middle of the night for updates. I thought it was kind of annoying but basically harmless before we had our daughter but now that my daughter is 6 months I can see that my wife’s habits are very destructive. She may be in the same room with our daughter but her mind is elsewhere and she is supposed to be talking and singing and doing all those things that stimulate the brain and help kids learn to talk. My wife says I am overreacting but she gets so defensive and angry when I question the time she spends online that I think it is like denial. It is a very touchy subject. I feel like she is protecting her addiction. She won’t stop and I don’t know what to do?
Read answer →Will cosmetic surgery make me happy?
I was quite good looking but I am now 44 and I do not get the attention for my looks that I used to. It is quite vain but I admit that I miss this. I always scoffed at the idea of plastic surgery and I always planned to age gracefully – whatever that means. Now that it’s really happening I may be changing my mind. What I want to know, and maybe this in an unanswerable question, is will getting surgery and fighting to stay youthful looking make me happier? Or will I be happier accepting what is and living as I am now? Sorry to throw up an impossible question (you don’t know me of course) but I am really grappling with what’s important in my life and the message I want to send to my daughters so I am interested in the big picture as well as my own picture. Thank you for whatever thinking points you can offer.
Read answer →How can I assist my addicted son to turn his life around?
My son is a drug addict and he says he no longer believes in God. He argues with me that I am delusional to have faith. I don’t know how to talk to him anymore. He is always high and aggressive and I don’t ever know if he means what he says or he is just trying to hurt me after I won’t give him money for drugs. I am desperate to help him and it hurts me to see him this way. How can I bring him back to the faith he was raised in? I feel like if he could get back to prayer and faith he could have the strength to stop living this thug life he seems so proud of now.
Read answer →How can our relationship survive our daughter's health crisis?
Our 5 year old daughter has neuroblastoma. We have tried conventional treatments and nothing is working. We have researched some more aggressive alternative stem cell treatments. My wife and I cannot agree on what we should do. My wife wants to go overseas to enroll in an experimental protocol. This treatment would be quite hard on my daughter. Our doctor says that at this point there is little that can be done and he is skeptical about the experimental treatment we have been researching. He says at best we would just be prolonging her suffering. This is an awful decision but I do not think we should do this, but if we don’t I do not think my wife will ever forgive me for not trying. I do not know if our marriage can survive this anyway. How can we get through this OK, whatever we decide to do?
Read answer →How can I let go and let God lead me to sobriety?
I am kind of confused . I am an alcoholic and for the first time I am really trying to get sober. I know I need to let go and let god but if I let go I always just end up drinking and if I struggle against it it doesn’t feel like I am letting go and letting God do His work for me. How can I trust in God to lead me and fight against the path He seems to have me walk?
Read answer →Is my mom suffering from depression or complicated grief?
My mom is depressed I think. My dad died a year ago and she is not the person she used to be. She used to be very involved in church groups socially but she is not interested in getting out of the house much these days. I had CBT for anxiety and it did me a lot of good so I am a big proponent of counseling but I am not sure CBT is what she needs because it seems to me she is dealing with spiritual issues that are causing the depression. She doesn’t want to talk about it but I find it really strange that she doesn’t want to go to church anymore since dad died. I don’t know much about Christian counseling but is this the kind of person/situation that you would be able to work with?
Read answer →How can I help my son spend less time on the internet?
My son is a 25 year old software engineer who works for a very well known company from the comfort of his own bedroom – his childhood bedroom actually. He makes a lot of money but prefers to work at home and rarely goes out to socialize with anyone offline. I do not mind having him at home and he contributes more than his fair share to the bills (he can certainly afford to) but I am worried about him. He probably spends 22 hours a day in his room on an average day. He leaves only occasionally to come down and watch TV with us make a sandwich or whatever. He says he is working all the time. I try to get him to socialize with people but he says he is too busy. He has not had many friends since high school. I don’t know if there is something really wrong with him or not but I know that there is more to life than what he’s got. What can I do to help him?
Read answer →Can a life coach help?
Can a life coach help me figure out what I want from life? I am not satisfied with my life. I know that what I have in my life right now is not what I need or want but I do not quite know what it is that I should do differently. I work in finance and make a lot of money that gets swallowed by the expenses of my family and lifestyle. Some days I just want to throw it all away and move to an island somewhere. I guess I feel stuck in this situation and even though I know I should be thankful to have a good job I do not feel lucky in any way. I love my wife and family to death but because of them I am trapped. I feel like I could use some guidance but I am a little confused about who to turn to. I guess I feel like I could use pretty regular support or motivation like from a life coach but I do not know how a life coach can help me if I don’t know what it is that I actually want to do.
Read answer →When is it safe to go back to a violent partner?
If my ex was physically abusive in the past but he also had PTSD from being in the military and because he used to drink a lot to deal with it is it very likely that he would still be violent with me if he is getting help for his PTSD but he is still drinking? He says he is taking some medications and he is not feeling so terrible anymore but I do know that he is still drinking quite a lot every night. He is a great guy but he nearly put me in the hospital before I left him but since he got the PTSD from some really scary and terrible experiences don't think that his violence is really his fault. What I want to now is if his PTSD is under control am I safe to give it another try with him?
Read answer →Lucid dreaming techniques for nightmare mastery
I have PTSD and bad chronic nightmares/insomnia fear of sleeping. I have heard that lucid dreaming can be helpful in overcoming chromic nightmares but I cannot get the hang of it. Is this a technique that someone can teach me? Do you know how I can learn to do this so I can change the course of my dreams when they get nasty?
Read answer →If I let God down, will he still love me?
If you hear God call you and you say no to His love and you feel Him leave and you feel such an unbelievable emptiness and it lasts for months and all you do is cry over your mistake, would God ever give you another chance to accept Him would He ever call you again? Or does He cut you off forever?
Read answer →How to stop drinking and contribute something to this world?
I was really drunk last night and I don't really remember leaving the bar. This is pretty normal. I don't remember driving home but I must have hit something on the way because my car is all dented in the bumper and hood. I have no idea what could have happened and I am so scared that I hit somebody or hurt someone and that the police are going to show up soon. There was red paint scratches on my black car so I don't think it was a pedestrian thank God. I am only 26 and I don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail. I have been drinking every day for too long and I cannot stop and I have tried on countless occasions. I am doing nothing good in the world and for all I know I killed someone last night. I want to change and I can't be in this world anymore. I have not been a member of any church for too long but I do believe that God has a plan for me. Is there somewhere I can go away and just work and try to make amends, like a monastery or Christian community? I do not have much money but I am willing to work hard and stay straight for an opportunity to start over.
Read answer →How can I be free from alcohol addiction if I can't feel God?
I believe in God but i do not really know how to pray in a meaningful way. I am an alcoholic and I am trying to work through the steps of AA. On one level I believe that God can help me overcome alcoholism and that I cannot do it alone but the problem is I don't feel the hand of God in any visceral way. When I pray I do not feel like I am talking to anyone and although I believe that God can help me overcome alcoholism I have never really felt a personal connection with God so I am not sure how this is supposed to work. Will it just come to me if I keep trying????
Read answer →Reconciliation requires both parties to agree
I am a recovering alcoholic who is reborn in Christ. I have an ex wife and I treated her very badly during our marriage. I was physically, sexually and emotionally abusive. I was totally out of control and now I am very ashamed at what I did, and since I can only remember a fraction of those years I am sure she went through more than I can remember. I would like to reconcile with her. I do not expect her to ever forgive me or take me back, but I want to somehow express to her how sorry I am and that I am a changed man. I would like to help her get closure on any issues that she might be dealing with from our time together. We have one child together and she is now 6 and I have not seen her since she was a baby. I would like to clear away the wreck of the past so that we can start fresh together again, at least as people who can work together as parents. I have always offered financial support but I would like to now be able to offer more than just that as a father. Is couples counseling the right kind of counseling to go to to achieve what I am looking for. I want it to be Christian in orientation. She currently won’t speak to me but I think my ex wife would be convincible to give it a try since I pay more than what is required in alimony and child support.
Read answer →How to overcome binge eating problem
I have a problem with binge eating. I think I am trying to fill some emptiness within myself with food, but no matter how much I eat I can never feel whole for very long. I am getting very obese and I am disgusted with myself. I feel like I do not know how to change the course of my life but I feel as though I need a spiritual solution because I believe I have a spiritual problem. I am 29 and I live alone. I have a high paying job but I am not a happy person.
Read answer →How can I stop internet porn addiction before the wedding?
I am engaged and the wedding is set for June. I am a virgin but I believe I have a problem with pornography. I look at porn on the internet every night and I cannot control myself once I start. Oftentimes I will end up looking at pornographic websites until the early morning hours. I feel compelled to do this. I do not want to bring this habit into my marriage and I do not ever want my wife to be to know about it. I am very ashamed of myself. How do I stop myself so that she never needs to know about this part of me?
Read answer →Is there an alcohol program that teaches moderation rather than abstinence?
I have a drinking problem but I do not want to eliminate alcohol from my life. Professionally this would be problematic for me as I am often called on to wine and dine. I do need to learn how to take control of my drinking so that I don’t end up leaving a business dinner 2 glasses of wine in and then going home to finish 2 bottles more. I am a Christian and I am interested to find an alcohol program that teaches moderation habits or willpower from a Christ based perspective and that is not abstinence based. I am willing to work from a program online or in person (Chicago). Do you know of anything that would meet my needs?
Read answer →Addressing guilt feelings in addiction recovery
I am a crystal meth addict trying to stay clean. I have done some really terrible things when high and to get money and to be honest it’s hard to look at myself in the mirror and feel very good about myself these days. I feel a lot of remorse for what I have done but I really believe that God forgives me. The problem is I just can’t seem to forgive myself and it is causing me a lot of pain to feel this way. And the only really good way that I know how to deal with pain is go out and score some meth. It feels wrong to let the past go but I feel like unless I do I’ll never be able to do right (if that makes any sense). If God can forgive me for all that I have done why can’t I forgive myself?
Read answer →Where is God when I'm depressed?
My wife has clinical depression and it’s really hard on her because she has always drawn a lot of strength and inspiration from prayer and now she says she can barely bring herself to really pray in any meaningful way. She understands that it is her disease that is causing her to feel this way but in her heart I think she feels a lot of guilt and despair at this loss of connection and at her inability to open herself up to Christ. I am not sure how to help her. I want to know if Christian counseling might be something that could help her to find her way again.
Read answer →Difficulty with AA concept of a Higher Power
I am not an atheist but I am not really a Christian either. I believe that something created the universe and that there was some sort of design but I have a very hard time believing in a power that watches over me or takes some interest in my life personally – especially when I consider the scale and age of the universe and compare that to the concerns of my own very insignificant in comparison life. My beliefs have always served me well enough in that I never had to really question them, but now I am at a point in my life where I need to stop drinking. I recognize that I am an alcoholic and I have started attending AA meetings. The problem is much of the program as I understand it has me praying to and seeking guidance from this higher power. How can I make AA work for me when I do believe in some sort of higher power, but when I don’t believe that this power has any direct influence on my life as I live it today? Pretending to sort of believe that my ‘prayers’ will have any results feels pretty insincere to me and I can’t see how this could work. I am only lying to myself, right?
Read answer →Is abortion the best option for young parents-to-be?
My girlfriend and I are 17. She is 2 months pregnant. Neither her or I am ready to be a parent. We are both Christians and go to the same church. She says she wants to have an abortion. She says she knows it is wrong but that she cannot stand the idea of having this baby. I want her to have the baby and give it up for adoption. I know that it will be hard for her but it is the right thing to do. She is not sure and she is very upset. What can I say to convince her that abortion is the wrong choice. I am willing to go to her parents if I have to but this will end our relationship I am sure and I love her and do not want this to happen. I am very torn and not sure what I am supposed to do.
Read answer →Is addiction a spiritual or a medical problem?
I have a problem with drinking and with smoking marijuana. I drink and smoke everyday. It has cost me an important relationship with my fiancée and I am at risk of being fired at work. I know that I need to change but I cannot seem to stop using when I try on my own. I have tried many times but I always wind up back at after a couple of day at the most. I feel very ashamed at myself for my weakness and my failures. I want to get some treatment. I am a Christian man and I believe Jesus can heal all wounds but I also know I was given a brain of my own for a reason, so I can think about what is best to do. I want to know if science and medicine based alcohol and drug treatment works better than Christian treatment. I am a bit confused because some people are telling me that addiction is a spiritual problem and others are telling me it is a medical disease. If I have a spiritual problem I go the church and I would not go to a doctor. If I had cancer or some other disease though I would not go the church for treatment, I would go to a hospital.
Read answer →Dealing with trauma after recovery
My fiance is coming off of a physical addiction to pain killers right now. I know that getting hooked on them to begin with is for a reason. He has been through some losses in life, including his biggest, loosing his mother to cancer in under a year. His job stresses him on a regular basis with very bad managing practices. He has seen CEO's of a rival company in twice to tour where he works and is nervous they will sell/brings up questions of job security even more than he has been dealing with. My question is, once he is off the drugs completely and in recovery...how can I best encourage him to deal with his past traumas? I want our marriage as healthy as it can be. We have faith in Jesus Christ and our relationship has been rooted and growing in Him from the beginning but we are still coming out of the woods of his addiction.
Read answer →Assessment for ADHD
if my connors score and my sons teachers scoring sheets are totally different, how will teh psycologist work out the diagnosis?
Read answer →Will Christian faith eventually come?
Faith is very important to my girlfriend and I have been hopelessly in love with her since I got to know her as an intern in my office a little more than a year ago. I am not real proud of this…I am an atheist but I have been pretending to be a Christian and even going to church with her every Sunday ever since we started dating seriously. I lied about my faith or lack of faith at first because I was scared she would write me off otherwise but now that I’ve been to church with her like 50 times (and I even say a phony grace, to my great shame, before every meal we eat together…) I have no idea what to do. I asked her to marry me and she said yes, but now that I think of her meeting my whole family and getting to know everyone I am not sure my great deceit won’t unravel. What do I do? She is the one for me but if I tell her I’ve been lying about this all this then she’ll be devastated…I am living a lie but the lie I am living with her in it is a lot better than the truth I’d be living without her. If I keep faking it will it come in time and will I become the Christian I am pretending to be now?
Read answer →Finding life's purpose following addiction recovery
I feel like I am wasting this life I was given. I was a drinker and drug user for years but I have moved past that and am 11 months sober now. I am grateful to be away from all the low things I used to see and do but now I do not know what purpose my life is supposed to have. I know I was put on this earth for a reason. How can I find out what I am supposed to do now?
Read answer →Christian counselling for an eating disorder
How would a Christian counselor deal with a teenager girl who has an eating disorder, anorexia? She is enrolled in a hospital outpatient program in Miami but I am concerned that she is not making as much headway as she needs to and I am not sure if she has the strength to overcome this disease on her own. Our pastor has spoken to her on several occasions but we were thinking that she might benefit from sitting down with someone with more training on a more regular basis.
Read answer →Anger toward God following sexual assault
I was the victim of a sexual assault 4 years ago and since that time I have had to work through a lot of personal fear and anger issue but the truth is I am still angry I just hide it better so no one really knows. I know it is wrong but in my heart I can’t help but even be angry with God for what I experienced. I used to find forming close personal connections quite easy, romantic and otherwise, but now I feel closed and distrustful all the time and that has really made it harder to get close to another person. I am tired of living alone within these walls of fear and bitterness I’ve built up around me but I am not sure how to break free from something that comes inside of me. I feel like I need to learn to forgive God first because if I can’t do that how can I move on with anything else. But how do I do that? Nothing I have tried has worked.
Read answer →Couple work
I feel that my husband and I are no longer as connected as we once were and I am less satisfied with some aspects of our married life than I would like to be. I have been trying to get my husband to agree to some marriage counseling but he says that we can get through this rough patch on our own with prayer and by making more effort for special ‘date nights’ and by putting more tie into our relationship. I do not think this will be enough since we are very stuck in our negative ways. I do not underestimate the power of prayer but I also know that we must actively seek out the answers sometimes. How can I convince my husband that prayer alone is not enough in this situation?
Read answer →Strengthening Faith through Counseling?
I was raised in a Christian home but we were never a particularly devout family. I am engaged to be married to a great woman who has a very deep Faith and relationship with Christ. Although I am a Believer my relationship with God has never been a very significant part of my everyday life, other than going to church on most Sunday’s. I envy my fiancée for the strength and joy she gets from her much more intimate relationship with God, compared to my very intellectual but less everyday-meaningful one. Because of this and because I think stronger faith would strengthen our marriage to come, I would like to develop a stronger relationship with Christ. Is this something a Christian counselor can help me with? I would turn to our pastor but I have never felt very comfortable with him, though I do respect him for what he does.
Read answer →Scripture passages for alcohol cravings
I am a born again Christian man and I have a real problem with my drinking. Can you recommend any passages of scripture that I might read when I feel the urges to drink whiskey?
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