I was really drunk last night and I don't really remember leaving the bar. This is pretty normal. I don't remember driving home but I must have hit something on the way because my car is all dented in the bumper and hood. I have no idea what could have happened and I am so scared that I hit somebody or hurt someone and that the police are going to show up soon. There was red paint scratches on my black car so I don't think it was a pedestrian thank God. I am only 26 and I don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail. I have been drinking every day for too long and I cannot stop and I have tried on countless occasions. I am doing nothing good in the world and for all I know I killed someone last night. I want to change and I can't be in this world anymore. I have not been a member of any church for too long but I do believe that God has a plan for me. Is there somewhere I can go away and just work and try to make amends, like a monastery or Christian community? I do not have much money but I am willing to work hard and stay straight for an opportunity to start over.
You say leaving
the bar drunk is pretty normal for you – is it also normal for you to get into
your car and drive whilst drunk? If so
it’s hardly surprising that you have finally hit something or someone. You are now faced with the truth about your drinking
– it can harm others. And it can get you
into a lot of trouble.
It’s often when
an addict hits a crisis point or is backed into a corner that he will start to
make some decent decisions about his life.
I’m glad you have done that. Now
it is up to you to follow through with those decisions. You could begin with contacting the police to
explain what you have done. Yes, you
will be admitting to a crime, and you will be handed the consequences. That doesn’t sound too attractive but it
would be the beginning of being honest with yourself and with others, being
accountable and taking responsibility for your actions. Your second task could be to enquire about
rehabilitation centres. Find out if
there is a Christian one near you, and if they can take you. If not a Christian one, a secular one will do
the job just as well. Lastly, go to
church. You might be amazed at the
support you will find there.