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It's OK to feel "different" about physical contact!

answered 04:56 PM EST, Sun April 21, 2013
anonymous anonymous
I feel grossed out by any kind of sexual contact. Kissing is fine but necking or Frenching is just DISGUSTING. Any fluids exchanging really sours the whole deal for me. I am a dude by the way and straight. I have a healthy sex drive and I satisfy myself. I like pictures of women but not porn, which I find disgusting. What is wrong with me that I am like this?

E W Says...

Most people don't like to feel like there is anything "wrong" with their preferences in life, and love, and sex is no different.  Please don't think there's something "wrong" with you just because you think your preferences are "different."  A wide range of likes and dislikes can make up the "normal" range.  

Having said that, I must say I am not an expert in this area - but I do strongly recommend that you go see a therapist, in person.  A therapist who specialized in sex therapy, in particular, will be an especially valuable resource in helping you to see where your "normal" is and put things in perspective for you.  If you find something you want to change, you already have a therapist helping you, and if not, then the therapist can help you understand your thoughts and feelings, and come to terms with them in a healthy manner.

As a general rule of thumb, if what you want and need does not hurt any other person, does not prevent you from feeling good about yourself, does not interfere in your normal happy relationships, does not interfere with a legal and productive lifestyle, and does not prevent you from having healthy relationships (is not illegal, etc.) then it is usually not a clinical problem.  However, if you could benefit from assistance in any of those areas, then I strongly recommend seeking help.

I don't know what age/stage you are in, so keep in mind that our desires and preference very often change, more than once, throughout our lives, and often with or without our intent.  Yes, some people can claim to never try anything new and never want anything different in their whole lifetime, but just as many do see changes as time passes.  

So please, don't walk around feeling something is "wrong" when there's probably nothing "wrong" at all - however, please do seek out a qualified, licensed therapist.  I don't know from your email if there are any other issues or symptoms in your life, but if you go see a therapist, you can begin to gain answers, reassurances, or maybe even some new questions.  Life is short, so getting help means less time spent fretting with no help in sight.  Best wishes to you! 



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Page last updated Apr 21, 2013

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