Marijuana Detox

My boyfriend is detoxing and I can assure you the withdraws are very real....after only 4 days he is coughing up yellow/black phlem with flu like symptoms and very very irratable almost angry at times for no reason. I've never seen him like this and I'm glad I found a few sights to help me understand what he's going through. It's tough and for those who say mj isnt addictive, it is. If it were not than he wouldnt be going through withdraws=(

I am going through an MJ detox myself. It has been one week, not long I know and right now I'm having a throbbing headache in the very same location that always felt good when I use to hit a joint. However, my mind feels much clearer. I think the best idea I've done was to get away from my local area (at my gf's parents house) and being out of the environment makes it easier, because I think ACCESS is one thing you have to control. If it's easy to get -- you are going to get it. Once you realize you don't really need or want it, it's good. I think another good idea if you're having a hard time giving up is try to extend long breaks in between. Have a budget for MJ that is low enough that will limit what you can smoke. Before I was doing quarter oz a week, I've been cutting that down by half every two weeks. This isn't the best way, but it's a good way if cold turkey is hard. Another important factor is stay away from the environment that promotes it, i.e. friends, being alone, etc. STAY BUSY, I agree completely with this. Most people I think usually smoke a joint because they're bored. Don't be bored.

I also deceided to cut back gradually instad of cold turkey.
This is because the first time I really tried to quit, I went cold turkey and became violenly angry.

I started when I was about 16. Before I started I was very ill. I spent at least 10 mos laying on the bathroom floor trying to deal with paranoia and nausea. This was very scary to me because my mom never took me to a Dr. I didn't know what my problem was or how to deal with it. I lost my summer job and was anxious about school starting soon. How was I supposed to graduate when I couldn't lift my head off the foor?

That is when I was introduced to MJ and for me at the time it really was a blessing. It allowed me to return to a functioning human again. I was just a casual user, once in a while. I became a daily user when I became friends with one.

Being a daily user made me feel shameful, but I figured I could quit whenever I wanted. The first time I seriousy considered it was when I was pregnant. But smoking helped me sleep, eat, etc. so I deceided to wait until after the baby was born to quit. I was very honest with my Drs. They told me that the biggest danger was low birth weight, but since I smoked small amounts at a time (just a puff or 2...anymore and I would get sick) and I smoked low grade (high grade made me sick) my baby was born very healthy.

When she was a couple mos old I gave it a try because I wanted to be a good mom and good moms don't smoke pot. I was a little nervous because I didn't want to return to the person who could't get off the bathroom floor. After one week I was violently angry. Anyone who knows me will describe me as a quiet peaceful person. I can't tell you how this frightened me! I deceided I would rather be a pot smoking mom than a violent one.

After that I never gave it much thought. I was a good member of socitey. I graduated college, started my own business, and I WAS a good mom. Currently I have been smoking for 30 years, and was starting to feel very guilty and shameful. I was spending 25 to 50 a week, and I wasn't wealthy! I did most of my smoking alone from the time I woke up till I went to bed...every 4 to 6 hrs like clock work. I would smoke with others but I could't "keep up", any more than a few puffs would make me sick. I felt so much guilt and shame because I wasn't smoking to get high (getting high made me sick), I was smoking to feel normal and so I could function.

Well, a couple of years ago I was having "change of life" symptoms and deceided to have a check up. The Dr. spent a lot of time feeling a lump in my throat and asking me Q'S like "Do you ever feel anxious or have heart palputaions?" My answers were no...I had gone thru this with every Dr before. But I was also honest about smoking pot (as with every Dr. before) and she followed a hunch in her gut and had my Thyroid tested.

The test came back indicating that I have an over active thyroid, so she repeated the bood test to confirm. The 2nd test confirmed, so then I had to swallow a radioactve pill for another test that made it clear that I have a lump on my thyroid gland which was interfering with it's hormone production. This is what caused my unexplained sudden and severe weight gains and losses over the years, as well as sleeplessness, nausea, panic etc. (all the reasons that made me smoke)

I was put on a med and my levels returned to normal so I was quite exceited and told the Dr. that I would like to quit pot and she said she would help me do that later but first we had to address high cholesterol and diabetes and other issues that were a result of my malfunctioning thyroid. I was also a little concearned about the possibility of radiation treatment if my meds didn't work. I didn't want to lose my contacts incase I did have to go thru radiation because I knew it would help me with nausea, etc. and my DR. agreed. (It is interesting to note that non of my Drs or Dentists were ever concearned about my pot habit...even tho I was an all day user for many years. Maybe because it was just a puff or 2?)

So anyways I stopped beating myself up about it and concluded that God had provided me with pot to help me with my undiagnosed thyroid problem, but I still wanted to quit.

(I did confront my mother and ask her why she never took me to the Dr that year I was so sick and she told me she thought I was on drugs! How ironic because it was the lack of medical attention that led me to drugs! In my moms defense, I did see many Drs afterwards (including 2 prenancies) and they were always curious about the lump in my throat but never followed up on it. Probably because my answers to all their Q's were always no...because pot helped with the symptons!)

So anyways I wanted to quit but was afraid to go cold turkey because of what happened the last time. So I had the same idea you had. Normally I would make sure I got more before what I had ran out (like milk or something), but I deceided to let myself run out and then let a whole day go by before getting more. Turns out it was't so bad. I did that for a while and then went to 2 days. I did that for a while and then went for 3 days, but then instead of buying more I deceided to just go for it.

I have had insomnia, night sweats, some panic(but not much), loss of appetite,etc. but I'm still holding on. I am very greatful for this site because I needed help figuring out if what I was feeling was because of withdrawl or thyroid.

I AM ON DAY 5!

This is a great accomplishment because less than 24 hours after deciding to go for it my 15yr old son was rushed to the hospital with alcohol poisining. He was at a party and someone snuck in a bottle of vodka. This was his first experience with alcohol and he way overdid it. He went into convulsions, vomitting, urinating, devicating, the whole nine yards. Thank you Jesus that his friends called an adult and the adult called 911. When I got the phone call I swear I could hear satan..."Thissss isss not the time to quit ssssmoking pot..." and I have to admit that usually works. But I wanted to be strong for God, for myself and for my son.
So I didn't call my contact and that felt good.

ONE DAY AT A TIME. There is no right or wrong way to get there. If you end up getting some, enjoy. Then try again. Keep trying until you succeed. I quit smoking ciggs over 20 years ago and that was much harder for me than this. The cravings were unbearable and I would always go back. Then I would quit again. I can't tell you how many times I had to try. I would say "you've done well..one won't hurt.". But quitting never got any easier. So eventually I deceided it was always that first cigg that led me back to the painful point of having to quit again, and if I could stay away from that first cigg I would be ok. 20 yrs later and I don't even have a desire anymore. I used to have dreams that I was smoking and I would feel very guilty until I woke up!!

My confusion has been that I don't get cravings for pot so I thought if I could quit ciggs when the cravings were so bad, I should be able to quit pot. But I didn't get withdrawls from ciggs, just overpowering cravings. With pot, I don't get cravings, but I do get withdrawls which have been magnified because of my thyroid! With Gods grace and my thyroid meds.....

I would like to Thank God for taking care of me, even when I was an athiest. I do believe he led me to pot years ago because I needed it. I also believe he led me to the Dr. who would follow her hunch. And now I believe that he will give me the strenghth and courage to dump this habit. I will need him more than ever to face the overwhelming emotions of anger and sadness from my childhood that pot helped me to avoid. It was ok for me to avoid them at the time because I had no support, but now I do.

PRAISE GOD FOR HE IS GOOD.
HE TAKES CARE OF ME LIKE HE SAID HE WOULD.
ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS TRY TO BE GOOD.
PRAISE GOD
FOR HE IS SO GOOD.
PRAISE GOD
THE WAY YOU SHOULD.

Just remember, God created you, and he dosn't make mistskes.
Much love and blessings to you all.
Keep fighting the good fight.

I have been a habitual marijuana smoker for the majority of my adult life, and having stopped again as recently as 20 some odd days ago, I have to say that even while I appear to be doing fine without it, I know that I have certainly stepped myself into the area of substance abuse.

Lucky for me, I have people in my life whom I feel are entitled to my clear headed nature, and deserve not just my best intentions but my best efforts as well.

I have enjoyed marijuana in good times, and I have turned to it in bad. I use poor excuses to explain why marijuana is a less detrimental substance for people to abuse, because unlike alcohol, speed, coke, LSD, or whatever other people also get too easily wrapped up with, marijuana users are most likely to just be lazy, and harmful to nobody but themselves. Thats not entirely true, and if it were the case why not allow say household use Opium Poppies?

The fact is, for me at least, that more often than not, I am seeking a sedation, and generally for little other reason than want for taste and a continued state of euphoria.

I'm no cancer patient, and I don't have to go thru the disorientation of most AIDS medications. I just smoke, and would smoke for just about any reason that could come to mind. I'd smoke to be sociable. Smoke with business clients, (which is similarly dangerous w/ alcohol) and I would smoke because I have a hard time finding the kinds of life opportunities which I feel I deserve. I smoke largely because of my over inflated view of my under achiever self.

Lucky for me, I have forced myself to quit for months at a time every couple of years, just as an exercise in knowing I can. Each time I do though, I have cravings, sure. I reminecse ( however u spell it ). I dream of catching a good buzz, and I know after longer spells without it, that the effect is much stronger. Its almost like wishing I could be with a high school sweet heart again, and knowing for the price of a bag that I might get that feeling again. The fact is I'm older, and putting myself thru a sad holding pattern. It might not be sad for me to want to feel that way, except that when I see how others who are entirely important to me will look at me as a self diminished individual.

I would love to smoke say once or twice a year, but every time I quit, and start again.... it never happens that way. When I have a bag, I will keep smoking, battling with myself, or justifying why "its all good" until its gone.

This leads me to detox. Sure MJ is a strong mentally enhancing substance, which I myself am repeatedly guilty of abusing. And, it does cause me to miss out on a lot in life. The point is that when I try to quit, and become less "clouded" all my poor reasoning for why I would smoke all day before and after whatever occassion or incident, My purely selfish reasoning will amplify itself. Until I realize how much time money and energy I waste, just to be stoned, I am operating my whole life impaired by my own poor reasoning, shadowed by inadequacy and loathing.

Its sad, but getting past the physical addiction is nothing compared to trying to right myself in those ways in which I have repeatedly allowed myself to give in, give up, and call it euphoria.

Most pot heads just need a slap on the ass, and a personal reason to rise to sobriety, and to find what an elevated state of mind really is.

I do all this, and then I still go back. Am I an addict? or am I just getting by the best I know how? Nobody can help me but me, and yet when I do.. ? Is relapse always a sign of a hurtful addiction? I'm still on the fence, and glad not to be a drunk.

i have used self-hypnosis on myself and have no cravings for it however i'm in the 12 day and can't think straight at all. so i found this page/site, it is helpful and I thank everyone who has supplied information. I suppose it is normal to have a couple of days where your brain feels drunk? any recommendations? thank you for your time.

Wow, self hypnosis sounds very cool!

I think that the symptoms of detox and withdrawal can affect people very differently, but that cognitive symptoms that might include feeling distracted or unable to focus would be quite normal. If you feel drunk as in you are slurring your words or you can't walk straight, then I think you may be dealing with something above and beyond the effects of marijuana withdrawal.

Congrats on 12 days clean though! Best of luck.

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I, too, have had the same. It's so hard to beat. I really don't know if I can without help this time. And I won't get it. I just won't. I find nothing that can make my bad days at work null and void like mj does. I know smoking keeps me from my choice of jobs and even though all I want lately is a new one, the withdrawals I get when I try to quit are extreme. As a youngster I had lots of traumatic experiences in relation to family. (mental, physical abuse) I have nightmares and depression and all I think about is the past, but a single hit is the only thing to take that for even a minute. I actually smoked pot for the first time with my mom around 13. Sans a few times I actually quit for a short time, I've smoked everyday after work and stay lit until bedtime. I would probably guess that in my younger years I would do a couple ounces a week. Now, I smoke a couple joints a night. 24hrs. after stopping use I literally get thoughts of suicide and crying spells in addition to flu-like symptoms. I'm 25 and a man... WTF. I bought a $50 bottle of detox today instead of a sack and my wife was so happy. I was too. I think I did it because I feel stuck in my job, rather than for the smart reasons. I honestly think if it was legal I would never stop. My thoughts as of this moment, 24hrs. later are how the hell can I do this and that this feeling of being clean sure feels like everyone else is missing out. I got on the computer to find something I could do to curve cravings for pot. All I found was that maybe coming clean anonymously would help. I just wanna be happy. Everything seems so lame and unappealing without it. I've decided to try again though. Maybe it'll work. I am addicted to pot.

I have not smoked for 3 days now, and I gotta say physically it sucks. Falling asleep has probably been my biggest problem considering that prior to stopping I was smoking every night before bed. Mentally, however, it has been amazing. I realize how dull of a person I am when stoned and how much more I have to offer sober. I have to say that I'm not swearing off marijuana for life, but I'm definitely trying to make a major cutback. I go back up to college in a couple weeks where obviously MJ smoking is prevalent. I'm just worried that if I smoke just once I may revert back to my heavy use. I was hoping someone who has gone through a similar experience could help me out with this. Should I never touch the stuff again? HELP

I sure hope the withdrawal symptoms ease up soon, because I really feel like a lost soul.

Each day brings new challenges. The first week was the confused brain and extreme mood swings - from crying to feeling like a zombie. The worst for me are the alternating feelings of hopelessness and intense anger. I'm completely intolerant of all people - friends and strangers - and just want to tell anyone who makes eye contact with me to go f--- him/herself. I'm not normally this way and it scares me. I've always been the 'go to' person for friends and colleagues in crisis. Now I'm in crisis and haven't the courage to ask for help because most people would be completely shocked to learn that I'm a dope smoker. I'm a successful and independent business woman and I have one adult daughter who is happily married and successful in her own right. I work out regularly and take pride in my personal appearance. I don't smoke cigarettes and drink very little alcohol, but I am a closet pothead.

I've quit before and had a very small support group of non-judgmental loved ones to help me. When I relapsed, I was so ashamed, that I didn't tell anyone I was using again. Now I've made the decision to detox, and I'm suffering alone. I can't be around people because I'm afraid of what I might say or do that will offend a friend or loved one.

Can anyone provide some encouraging insight as to how long it will take to feel human again? It's overwhelming right now, and I can't remember how long it took to feel 'normal,' when I last stopped using.

Be positive and don't give up hope, this will all work itself out for you. You are a strong woman I guess, being a professional business woman with a grown up daughter. We are all human and all make mistakes time and time again, as so do your friends and family also make mistakes. My guess is that you too would forgive and support a friend in need, so don't beat yourself up about your moods and feelings, your friends WILL understand if they are friends, your family WILL understand because you are human and are doing the right thing now for ALL the right reasons, thats what counts.I am in recovery for 6 weeks and I can tell you I have been through the mill with mood swings and strange feelings, but just ride it out and keep occupied, don't let yourself be bored and sit down for long periods on your own feeling depressed, its completely useless and self destructive. Call a friend, join marijuana-anonymous-online and chat with fellow potheads who have given up, do things that stimulate your mind and stop you thinking in your head all the time, play golf/tennis (you don't have to talk too much), go to the movies more (but only comedies!), be positive and give yourself a well deserved break this is what will see you through this hard time and have faith that all these messy emotions are just your brain cleaning itself out, learn to play an instrument, or take up drawing or art classes anything that diverts your attention away from these sh&%%y feelings, and above all share your feelings with someone you love its a really great help and an absolutely necessary support, No Man Is An Island!

Many thanks to the lovely person who posted "Hope" on August 12th.

It's been 18 days since I last had a puff, and I feel better with each passing day. I'm sleeping better (although the dreams are still a little weird), and my brain is still fuzzy, but each day gets a little easier.

I hope that this message will provide support to whomever might be where I was just a mere 10 days ago.

I'm not out of the woods because marijuana is and will always be my weakness; however,I'm not so depressed anymore, which means the world to me.

Just 18 days is all it took to begin to see life through a clearer lens. It was worth the misery of the first couple of weeks.

You are very welcome for my note to you on the 12 of August, we are all here for each other and its really a huge benefit of the Internet, nobody is really alone anymore.
As for your dreams, I concur with you that in the beginning they are quite vivid and can be a little disturbing at times, but as I said before, this is your brain finally getting the true rest it needs and deserves without chemical suppression, and for the first time in along time its got so much excess energy it doesn't know what to do while you sleep, so it makes up some really cool Hollywood Blockbusters that even Stanley Kubrick would be proud of!
But again be reassured that the dreams become more and more pleasant as the days go by, although I keep finding huge bags of weed out of nowhere in my dreams; but in my dreams my subconscious has finally accepted that I have given up, because I still refuse to smoke in my dreams which I found really cool, can you believe that!!
Also if its any help, I found that weed depletes your Vit-B store in your brain, and if you replenish this with a good Vit-B complex, it must be a complex of vitamins not an individual B-vitamin (Solgar are the very best you can get) you will see some great improvements in mood and general outlook. Stay cool, stay focused and stay clean, in a few weeks you will be a new woman with a big smile on your face and will never look back again.

I NEED TO QUIT ALSO I HAVE SMOKED FOR 30 YEARS I AM HAVING HEART PROBLEMS WHICH WILL GET YOUR ATTENTION I HAVE SMOKED ALL DAY AND I AM DONE AND NOT PLANNING ON SMOKING AGAIN SOUNDS LIKE AN UPHILL BATTLE SO LETS SUPPORT EACH OTHER

I enjoyed reading everyones input. It really does help to listen to others who are dealing with the same problems.

Gee why did a start smoking. I think for the adventure of it, to laugh, to reach a high level of thinking? I was 15 when I started smoking and said I would not smoke past the age of 30. Well I'm 30 and still smoking pot. Everyday at leaste an 8th a week. At this point I'm purely smoking because I'm an addict! No adventure, no laughing and no higher level of thinking. Just parinoia, cognitive distorded thinking, and loneliness. It has for many years had the opposite effect, a vicious cycle.

I have also struggled with drinking, I am now getting over a 2nd DUI!!. I can honestly say that the drinking isn't an issue anymore, maybe two beers with dinner. At that point I feel like shit and don't want anymore, it has caused me enough problems anyhow.

However, the pot still is an issue. I think the reason why I started was not the reason I continued smoking. I continued smoking because of not wanting to deal with the withdraw symptoms, it relieves stress and takes away boredom. I feel that it is starting to really interfere with my life now, I don't want to admitt it but it is. I'm 30, and want to have a real life. I want to feel good without drugs. I know I can do this. Oddly enough a am big athlete, I'll mtn. bike 20 50 miles, ski, rock climb, etc. It does not make me to lazy, I managed to finish college, I'm an EMT, and tend to be pretty smart. I know that quitting pot is not the key. It is diving into my issues( jealousy, anger, judging others, childhood abuse, and excepting our shity economy) learning to be positive even though things are bad, there is only one way to go when you hit bottom, and that is up. Thanks for reading. Wish me luck!!

First off I had no idea how hard it would be to quit smoking. I was glad to find all the information people post. It made me realize that alot of the things I am feeling are actually symptoms of withdrawl. I am 33 years old and have been smoking for 18 years. My use started gradual and by a few years it was all day, every day. I tend to get really into whatever I do, which brought me to all aspects of marijuana use. I smoked it, sold it, and grew it for many years. All this time I thought of it as harmless and thought I could quit whenever I desired to. I actually considered my use to be self medicating. Now I am on day six of detoxing, and the withdrawl symptoms are stronger than ever. I am experiencing flu like symptoms, extreme headaches, hopelessness, depression, and loss of energy. Looking at my life under a sober mind has put things into perspective. Weed has controlled my life for a long time, and I now see the damage it has done in all aspects of my life. I quit cold turkey, and plan on keeping it this way. Although, it is not easy. I smoked up to a quarter a week of high grade marijuana. Kush being my favorite because of its mind numbing effects common to most indicas. Being connected with the grow scene meant there was never a shortage of my supply. I had to pull myself away from this environment. That was the hard part. I have alot of long time friends who are still using. I am still very early in the detox stage and keep optimistic. This is not going to be easily accomplished, and I expect to feel some of the symptoms for months to come. Its been a long time coming.....

Congratulations on your decision to quit, I too have been smoking for about 15 years and I am only on day 1, it is very hard and I am glad to know I am not alone in this battle. Good luck to you!

So I have been smoking mj for 15 years and I finally decided to quit 2 days ago; i know it's not that long but, I have had the worst headaches in the world and,I can't sleep more than 3 hours at night; Don't believe anyone that says mj is not addictive. I recently quit smoking cigerettes also (6 months ago)and the nicotine withdraw was nothing compare to this. I wish everyone the best when you make the decision to quit.

Good luck!!

I must admit that this is probably one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do in my life. The first day wasn't so hard, because I'm dead set on giving it up. I've smoked for about 11 years, on and off for some, but heavily smoked for the past 5 years. Day 2 brought on a lot of emotions, I would cry, think negative and felt like I was going crazy. Day 3 started the insomnia, I won't sleep no more then 4-5 hours a night, but up and down during those hours. I hardly have an appetite, but I'm forcing myself to eat, because I am a slender guy and can't afford to lose weight. I've lost about 6 pounds in the last 7 days, which isn't good for me. I'm guessing some of it has to do with not drinking as much soda as I usually would consume. I have been drinking more water though, which I'm hoping helps move the toxins out of my body. I've heard that exercise is a good way to tire your body, but since I've lost weight it's not an option for me. I just want to sleep, all I want is some rest.

Hello everyone. I'm on day 9, and feel like am going crazy!! Do yourself a favor and don't read about any mental illness disorders, you will feel like you have them all, the signs of withdraw are very similar to many mental illness the scariest one being crazy. Delusions, mind reading, over-reacting, getting angry are some of the things that I'm dealing with. It is so hard, but I'm doing it. Staying true, staying strong, I figure I have about 30 more days until it is completely out of my system. Good Luck to everyone! This site helps, please keep me posted!!

I'm on day three of not smoking...I've abstained my use before, but I always seem to come back to it. I would love to get to a point where I only use on occasion. It is possible to stop using...the longest I've gone without smoking is 6 months. It does get easier as time goes by, but the temptation never really goes away. The first week or two are the hardest. One of the symptoms I suffer from during detox is heavy dreaming...very vivid dreams...which of course keeps me from really getting a good night's sleep. It is, indeed, comforting to read other people's experiences and realizing that I'm not alone in this struggle. I get VERY irritable and my temper is VERY short when I first stop smoking. Like today, I'm just not in a very good mood. While at work, it doesn't seem so bad; I guess because I'm busy with work stuff, but when I get home (which is when I usually smoke), I'm a grump...BIG TIME. Anyway, good luck to all of you, and keep the posts coming...as I said, it's comforting to read others experiences.

Hello everyone! I hope the fight to stay pot free is gong well for you! I'm on day 28 of not smoking. I'm feeling better every day. No not crazy, just a pot head. Thank God! I was scarying myself good.

You know how some people can't handle smoking pot, they get bad anxiety or hallucinate, or etc..well comming down off of pot was just that for me. A drug holiday if you will, getting those symptoms that people get who don't like smoking pot.

A few different times people have smoke around me, it doesn't bother me belive it or not if anything I see how there personality changes and suddenly everything is all good. Well it's not all good if you self medicating, you mid as well be on anti depression medicine or etc... I feel so much better to think clearly, and people have even comented that I look better.

After quiting I don't feel depressed and am not getting anxiety or having strange thoughts.. It's fun to smoke pot when you actually get stoned, you luagh, and can act silly. But when your smoking every day all day, and drinking coffee, it starts to take on a differnt persona. I do believe smoking pot in moderation is fun and ok, make sure you don't have any laten mental disorders that run in your family for it could trigger it. I don't have any in my family, maybe depresion, but who does't. I have always enjoyed the reality smoking pot put me in and playing music. But the reality is that it is NOT REALITY!! Any if you smoke for a long time everyday all day, after a while it can start affecting your mental dispositon, i.e. it can have negative effects and you may get confused on who you are, are you your drug personality or are you who you are without the drug. Scarry stuff. I don feel that I'm starting to balance out, I feel good like I felt like I was a kid.

The trick is make your life good, with exercise, surround yourself with good hearted people, smart people, and try to aviod falling in to negative crowds. Its ok to not be cool..It is ok to be yourself.. I'm sensitive and still get pissed off when dealing with stupid people, and negative people, I feel like they are just trying to bring me down if they see that I'm happy, so im sensitive, feel inferior at times and I hate to admit it, but a have some self esteem issues. I feel pretty confident so that is hard to admit, But I want to be honest and try to be there for all of you, so know it is ok to feel weak, and not strong or feel like a dork, or whatever, the main thing is its way better than being a druggie loser!! Good Luck and keep me in mind when your hurting..I'm trying to stay positive and healthy and avoid triggers that might make me relapse.

Regards,

Dwight

I've Been a smoking herb for years now. Like most people I started using on the weekends and then Lost all my straight friends who thought I was a druggie.

I become friends with a bunch of avid drug users and declined from there. I found I needed to smoke weed for everything, if there was a good movie on or T.V show I just had to get baked. I needed it to go to sleep and If I couldn't buy it I'd scrape the resin out of my pipe even if there were bits of metal shards in the resin, I'd still smoke it because I just wanted to get high.

I didn't care how bad it was damaging me. I went for two weeks without smoking it, but after the second week my symptoms had declined to the point that I wanted to kill myself or get high.

I was constantly sweating, I felt no emotion or passion for anything which scared the shit out of me. I had horrible nightmares, when I woke up I would be so disturbed from the nightmares I'd become depressed and shut down.

So people who say it takes about a week to feel normal are bullshitting.

The only reason i smoke weed now is because Im really scared at being sober and experiencing those horrible nightmares and total lack of emotion.

In my mind I think I've done damage and will never be the same again. I'd rather be dead than go through those nightmares the anger, the sweating and the numbing of the senses, the sleepless nights.

I'm trying to stop smoking today, It's only been eight hours since my last smoke and already I'm covered in sweat and starting to feel really depressed, I'd do anything to be normal again.