Question: I just caught my brother in law smoking crack in our garage. My sister has already thrown him out of the house once before  for his drugs and because he was bringing it into the house and around their two young kids who are only 14 months and 4 years old.  He begged me not to tell his wife. He told me he was trying to quit and he was just having a hard time, but I am not sure if I should believe him. He is a really great guy that I like a lot and that was very good to my sister before the drugs got bad about a year ago. He swore to me if I didn't say anything he would start going to NA meetings and find a treatment program this week. I don't know if I am being foolish to believe him or if I finally have some leverage to help him? What I want to know, is , is this a stupid idea? If i force him into a treatment program with this threat of my telling his wife hanging over his head is it going to do him any good, or am I just putting my nephews at risk for no reason? 

Jennifer Sartin Says...:

In my opinion, your best bet is to do whatever it takes to get him help for his addiction.  Once he is getting help, he will be encouraged to be honest with his wife. Keeping secrets for using addicts is enabling. Enabling only hurts the addict and everyone else affected.

Question: My sister is a compulsive shopper. This is my term and not her label because she would deny that she has any problem at all. But when you go and look in her apartment you would know that she does, when you see the hundreds of pairs of shoes that are almost never worn and the clothes overflowing everywhere. She has serious financial problems. Credit card debt she can't get on top of and she keeps borrowing money from our parents that she never seems able to pay back, and my parents are on a fixed income and don't have a lot to spare although they will always help her. Everyone in the family agrees with me that she has a problem and she needs some help. Is an intervention an appropriate thing to try in this situation and what type of treatment should we ask her to get?

Jennifer Sartin Says...:

People who compulsively shop often meet criteria for mood disorders, anxiety disorders, substance use disorders, and/or impulse control disorders.  I would suggest a comprehensive psychological assessment to determine the possible underlying issues surrounding the shopping.  After that, the appropriate treatment can be discussed.  As far as an intervention (if necessary), I would research therapists who specialize in impulse control disorders in your area and see if who offers intervention services.