Question: I enjoy the internet and I am out of work at the moment. I spend most of my waking hours online but I do not think I have a problem, it is just something that I like to do. Is there anything intrinsically wrong with spending 16 hours a day online?

Jill Palmer Says...:

To assess whether there is a problem I would want to know the answers to a few questions. Are you not doing other things like building relationships, looking for a job, hobbies, etc in order to be on-line? Are you avoiding something else in your life and hence hiding on-line? Or are you just bored with nothing else to do so being on-line all day is just something to fill your time? Doing anything for 16 hours a day seems out of balance to me so I would assess the reasons why you are on-line for so long and decide whether those reasons are ok with you. You're the one that needs to be ok with how you spend your time. Is spending 16 hours a day on-line a problem for you? For the people around you? If not, then it might not be a problem right now.

Sincerely, Jill Palmer, LPC

Question: Whenever I sit down at my computer and start into my routine of the sites that I always check through first thing I always feel like this wave of pleasure and contentment and focus and I get really annoyed if anyone tries to talk to me when I am online, but especially during this first few minutes. I spend about 7 or 8 hours online per day. My wife thinks I am addicted to the internet and I am not sure if she is right or not. I don’t think that my internet use causes any problems in my life, although my wife does complain sometimes that I am never around to help her with stuff or hang out as much as we used to. Anyway, is the pleasure I feel when I get online a normal thing, or is that a sign that my wife is right and that I am addicted to the internet?

Jill Palmer Says...:

Feeling pleasure when you get on line isn't necessarily a bad thing. If you use the internet as a way to cope with the stresses of the day, feeling pleasure in being able to relax and enjoy yourself could be normal. Only you will know if the pleasure you feel is appropriate for what you are using the internet for or whether you think it might be overly pleasurable.

As for the time you spend on the internet, it does appear to be getting in the way because your spouse has a problem with it. It's all about balance in your life. Spending 7 to 8 hours a day on the computer is 7 to 8 hours a day you aren't being present with your family or experiencing life. The internet is a great way to hide from life so you might want to be honest with yourself on your reasons for spending so much time on the computer. As for whether you are addicted or not, try to stay off of the computer for one day and see what happens. If your mood gets in the way of enjoying the day, you are out of balance and have a dependency of some sort.

I recommend you find the balance in your marriage and on the computer. You may need professional help if finding balance is difficult for you.