Question: I am depressed and have anxiety and I am unemployed and living with friends. I have no money for any kind of therapy or even for medication but I can’t get work because on most days I can’t even get myself to leave the bedroom. How can someone with no money at all for any kind of treatment have a hope of beating mental illness?

Stephanie Adams Says...:

When you're depressed, you feel so trapped - but there are options out there:

• First, community mental health resources available at lower rates for low-income individuals: http://www.nccbh.org/
• Second, self-help and support groups: http://mentalhelp.net/selfhelp/
• Third, discount/free medication resources: http://www.needymeds.org/. Also, talk to your doctor about private pay and sliding-scale discounts - many doctors understand how difficult it is for the uninsured to get quality health care.
• Fourth, public assistance in the form of social security/disability financial help: http://www.ssa.gov/ It does take time to receive aid, but if you qualify it can help you out long-term.
• Fifth, free clinics: http://www.freeclinicfoundation.com/
• Sixth, seek support and encouragement through the National Empowerment Center: www.power2u.org

Don't give up! You can get through this!

Question: How do I tell my parents that I'm depressed..? Every time I've tried to tel them before, they just tell me that I'm lying and that all teenagers go through this. I've been told that I'm not worth helping, by my then-therapists, when I was only eight, and so I try my best to hide it. Sometimes, though, something'll set me off and all I feel like doing is going off alone into a corner and crying. I'll admit that I used to cut myself and that I have thought that the would would bebetter off without me. I've been made fun of for the majority of my school life for being either tall, shy, artsy, or smart. That really hasn't helped this whole situation... I've just about giving up on finding help for myself. What should I do?! I just feel so hopeless and helpless...

Stephanie Adams Says...:

You are worth helping, and your life is worth feeling better. Have you talked to your school counselor about this? He or she could give you an evaluation and show your parents objectively how your feeling. I am sorry that you are experiencing other people not believing you, but I believe you. I trust you to know what you're feeling, and to know what it's not normal. Trust yourself, and don't give up. In some states, when you are 17 you can seek counseling without your parent's permission. I don't know what age you are now, but the closer you get to that age the easier it will be for you. 

This website address has a list of symptoms you can use to explain how real your experience is to your parents.  Try pulling it up and sitting down with your mom and dad.

Also, if you are feeling desperate at anytime you can call the national suicide hotline, 1-800-Suicide, and they can help you get through the stress right now and help you plan for the future. There is help out there. Don't give up. I believe in you!

Question: Hi, I am 16 years old, and not sure what to do. I think I may be depressed or something, but maybe not. I am too scared to tell my parents, in case my problems are normal teenager problems, or I am making nothing into something. I will describe this to you as quickly as possible.. I have periods where I am completely sad for no reason. I have no motivation, and don't enjoy things I used to. I stay up until 2, until I finally can make myself do my homework. I feel hopeless, and often think of suicide. (But I don't actually consider it.) I am extremely irritable towards my parents. I just wish I could lay in bed all day. But I still go through my daily activities, and get good grades in school, and usually socialize. And sometimes I wake up and am completely happy all day. I also have days where I swing back and forth between these two moods. Sometimes the presence of friends makes me happy, sometimes it doesn't. On a bad day, I tried to cut my wrist with scissors (but failed to bleed) because I had heard it would be a release. I've had times like this before. I remember wishing I would die when I was 10. I remember feeling more depressed than I do now when I was 13. But the happy days and moments make me doubt myself. Sometimes I wonder if I am making myself sad. Maybe I enjoy being sad. Maybe I am making this all up in my mind. I am terrified that I am doing this for attention or something. Maybe everyone feels like this, but I am acting this way for attention. This terrifies me. I don't know if my emotions are real or not. Sorry, end of rant... Basically, I want to know if I should tell my parents that I need help. And if I should, what should I tell them??

Stephanie Adams Says...:

I'm glad you wrote. Short Answer? Yes, what you're describing sounds a lot like depression. And yes, the BEST thing for you right now would be to tell your mom and dad that you want to see a doctor and or a therapist to try to get help.

Everybody has up days and down days, especially in their teen years. But the fact that you're desiring a "release" in cutting yourself tells me that your brain recognizes this is a problem and is looking for a way to feel better. Cutting yourself is a way out - but not a good way. It doesn't last. Seeking to talk through your problems with a professional and in some cases take prescription antidepressants CAN make the changes last. The sooner you can start feeling relief, the better. 

Depression is a REAL disorder - a brain imbalance, and you can overcome it. You just need the right tools. There is nothing wrong with you as a person, just with the way your brain and emotions are working right now. I know you have a lot of questions about why you might be feeling the way you do, and it's possible that you are aware of sometimes the benefits of feeling sad - like getting attention and support. But I don't think you would be asking me for help if you really "liked" being sad. It's one thing to recognize that sometimes it feels good to have others give you attention. It's another to say that you like feeling this way. I don't think that you do. Do you?

If you want an idea of something you can say to your parents, try this: "Can I talk to you about something? Lately, I've been feeling really sad sometimes for no reason. I don't want to get out of bed. I have thought about hurting myself, even though I don't think that's what I really want. I've been reading about it and I think I might have depression. Do you think you could help me make an appointment with a counselor or doctor to talk about getting help?"

What you're telling me is no different than any other person that I've talked to who has dealt with feeling depressed. It's a difficult circumstance. But you're not CHOOSING this. You've had this disorder attack you and you're doing your best to deal with it. You're doing a great job by seeking answers. As long as you don't give up you WILL find a solution. I'm sure your parents will want to know what's going on and will jump at the chance to help.

If you or they have any difficulties finding help, send me an email privately and I will be happy to help you find suitable therapeutic support in your area, or see you myself if you're a Texas resident. Don't give up! You deserve to feel better as soon as possible.

Question: My sister is having a hard time right now with depression and it’s very hard for me to watch. As kids we had a golden retriever that she just loved to death. I mean she really loved that dog and she was the one in the family that spent the most time taking care of him. I am wondering if I should buy her a puppy. She is single and she doesn’t really have anyone in her life right now. I am thinking that if she had a dog to love and to take care of it might help her get her thoughts away from herself and onto the needs of the dog. I am not sure if this is a good idea but I would be willing to take the dog off her hands if it turns out she doesn’t want it. Is buying a dog for someone with depression a good idea? Does my reasoning here make any sense?

Stephanie Adams Says...:

Your reasoning makes sense - you see your sister hurting and you want to do something, anything to help make it better. It's very hard to be a family member of someone suffering from depression. You feel helpless.

I think your idea is solid but I would stop short of doing it for her for two reasons: 1) a dog comes with a lot of responsibility and could be a great deal of trouble, making her feel overwhelmed if she's not prepared for it. When someone is feeling depressed, you want to help encourage them to feel in charge of their world, not risk them feeling like they can't handle it. 2) Getting a dog for her that you take back could create the same situation. In your heart you're wanting to be helpful and make it a no-fail situation for her, but she COULD see it as "I caused a burden for my sister by not being able to "handle" the dog."

Still, a dog can be a great help for a person with depression - I would encourage you to bring it up with your sister collaboratively in lieu of doing it for her. Maybe say something like this. "Hey, I was thinking about [name of your family dog] recently. Didn't we have so much fun with him/her? As an early Christmas present, I'd really like to help you get a dog this year. Would you let me do that for you?"

Empower her to work with you to help her depression, and I bet the results will be great. Let me know how it goes!