I'm stuck and want to know how to snap out of it?
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anonymous Asks ...
I feel really hopeless right now. All I do is go to work 6 days a week and I hate my job but at least it gives me something to do because on Sundays, and this is really sad, there is nothing that I even want to do. I have no money for expensive outings or vacations and everything I could do, I have done a thousand times and can’t really get excited about doing again. I have honestly tried doing new things, like I actually went and got my old roller blades out of my parents garage to try that again because I used to like doing it, but now it just feels so stupid and I also feel kind of ridiculous. I can’t remember the last time I was excited about doing something rather than just going through the motions. I just don’t know how to snap out of this.
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Mark Hughes Says ...
Hi,
It can be pretty awful when we get stuck and can't seem to get back to feeling good. The encouraging thing here is that you can see that you're stuck, because that means you can try and do something about it... although as you've pointed out, you've been trying and are still stuck.
I don't have the answer here, how could I, but I think that by asking me you are doing the right thing evenso. Because when we are stuck, we need to bring in something - awareness - to help us, and reaching out and telling someone else is an excellent way to do this. By asking me, explaining to me, you may or may not get some useful suggestions or ideas from me, but just as important, you bring more of your own intuitive energy to the issue.
The difficulty with this is that it doesn't generate an answer quickly, so needs to be given time, and not too much thought. Because thinking (analysing and looking for solutions) blocks the imaginative and intuitive side which is needed when we get stuck.
Seeing a counsellor who understands this (someone who works intuitively rather than cognitively) may help with this, or talking to a friend who doesn't just respond with solutions, but listens creatively could help too.
But even if these are not possible, you can cultivate these aspects in yourself. The web has a lot of resources, also books and so on. But you need to be very selective because most of what is out there is biased towards logical, analytical and cognitive/behavioural ways of approaching a problem, and my guess is that is what is stuck here. The logical mind is great for solving problems, but if it gets stuck, you need to brings something new in, and this is exactly what your intuitive and creative aspects can do.
So I suggest you allow yourself to be open and keep exploring - like you did with the roller blades. That sounds like it was an intuition at least in part - for example, returning to a younger side of yourself. What was it like at the time you *did* enjoy roller blading? What were you like? How are you different now?
Maybe there are some clues in there - things to try - not just to do again, but to bring into the you that is now in some new way. I'm guessing here, but you can do that too, but try to do it without looking for *the* answer. Allow yourself to stay open rather than go off and persue each idea that you "think" might be the answer. Trust not knowing more than the chance you found the solution.
Good luck, and if you want to ask a bit more or let me know if this sounds useful or not, by all means get in touch via my website (http://therapy-online.co.uk).
Mark
