Question: I think I have dyscalculia. I never knew it was a real thing until now but I always failed at math every time and I am always late for stuff even if I don’t mean to be and my money management is not in control at all. It’s like anything that has to do with money or time or future stuff just gets all muddled in my head and I can’t even get my head around it. I am also not able to read a map or follow directions and I am always getting lost even when I think I know the way somewhere. I always knew there was something wrong with me but I just thought I was sort of stupid in some ways although I am very smart in other ways. I have never been able to keep a job since I am always screwing it up But it is nice to think of my having some real disorder. So what now? How can I know for real if I have this disease and what can I do to get better at all this stuff?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

It is entirely possible that you live with a learning disability - the best way to determine that is to see a psychologist and get testing done. Regardless of what you do or don't live with it sounds like you lack organizational skills and I'm wondering how you are with self discipline?

Many of us in Recovery struggle with managing responsibilities. Being accountable and structuring your day, your routines, your schedule - these are things you don't need a professional for - a friend or family member can help you gain these skills.

Determining whether or not you have a disability is important because there are strategies that can help you to cope and work with it. Either way, working harder to overcome is what's needed. It takes a lot of humility to ask for help and it may be embarrassing - but it's totally worth it.

Question: My husband does this total passive aggressive thing, it's not really his fault cause if you would ever meet his mother you could see that e learned from a master. I love him and he is a good guy with this fairly annoying and sometimes destabilizing flaw. I am trying to get him to stop by labeling the behavior whenever it occurs but this is only increasing the tension between us Is there anything I can do to help him learn healthier conflict resolution?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

My challenge to your husband would be that being passive aggressive shows a lack of integrity. Typically the person who engages in this behavior is being hurtful in a manner that allows them to avoid being accountable for what they say and do. My suggestion to you would be to ask what he means by what he says. Check in with him, "It sounds like you're saying ______, is that what you mean to say?" Folks who are passive aggressive often fear conflict and instead get digs in. I'd encourage you to explain how his behavior impacts you emotionally. He may fear conflict - which makes resolving conflict very problematic. Don't wait for him to engage in the behavior - have a conversation about how you can make changes in the ways in which you communicate. Good luck!