Question: Dear Anna, I'm writing this letter on behalf of my client who is in process of opening up a profit Sober Living Home in NJ or PA. The client is intending to seek legal help on matters relating to: 1. Opening up of a Sober Living Home 2. Real Estate Law and local laws to confirm while setting up a Sober Living Homes 3. Finding possibility to route inmates who are sentenced to live in Sober Living homes by courts (that may include registering with State/ courts) 4. Brand promotion on internet/ social media/ print media to get more cases from other living homes. This is a tentative list and that may include changes as we go forward. If that is your area of expertise and if that interests you, it will be great if you give your consent to be our client's legal help for all/ partial points discussed above. I'm keeping this letter brief to save your time but the content must have made enough declaration to clarify things about our requirements. Please do forward me any questions, if you have. Going forward, if you give your consent, we'll forward your contact information to our client to take the things to next level. Yours sincerely, Kapil Mishra km_jpr@yahoo.com

Anna Deeds Says...:

Thank you for your question! I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor, not a lawyer so I cannot give legal advice. I've never opened a Sober Living House but I have researched it and could possibly give some advice. I also have a friend who has opened one in my town. The area that you mentioned that I do have some expertise on is building a presence on social media. My contact information is available on my profile page so you can contact me and I will give you what information I have. I hope your client is able to open the house as many more are needed for addicts in recovery. Please feel free to contact me and I'll help as I am able. 

Question: I am very worried about my 34 year old daughter. She is extremely depressed, but every time I offer help or suggest counseling, she ignores the subject. She lives two hours from me, is separated with two pre-teen children. She tells me she is very unhappy with her life, hates where she lives and cries every night. She says she is miserable and is tired of crying and being unhappy. I have suggested couseling, many times, and suggested medication. I've even told her to pack everything up and come live nearer to me so I could help. Yet, she does nothing, week after week. She'll have a breakdown and tell me these things, and then carry on going to work, etc. until the next time. I don't know how to help her. She has even told me about just leaving the area, alone, going somewhere and starting over. I know that is not the answer, it's just running away and I fear that in the future she will regret leaving her children. I think she is just overwhelmed. Is there anything I could do or should be saying to help her?

Anna Deeds Says...:

Thank you for your question. First, I think it is important to point out that if your daughter is a danger to herself or others, you could have her involuntarily committed to a psychiatric ward. I know this seems harsh but it is for her own protection. If she is not suicidal but the depression continues, you could try talking to her family doctor. If she doesn't have a family doctor, I would continue to encourage her to get help. Let her know that you will support her, are there to listen to her problems and can help her so she is not so overwhelmed. You can also encourage other family members to talk to her about getting psychiatric treatment. You could even have a family intervention where family members tell her how her depression concerns them, how it effects her quality of life and how it effects your whole family.

Perhaps she doesn't realize or believe that depression is a treatable disorder. If that is the case, you could try presenting her with information about depression that shows that it is treatable. Try these websites for information on depression: NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), PsychCentral and MayoClinic. Point out to her that many people suffer from depression symptoms and get better.

Since so many people use social media today, this may be another way to reach out to her. There are many Facebook pages and groups that post valuable information on depression. You could send her pages or posts that you think might help her or even just inspirational or motivational posts to show her there is hope. You could also try buying her a self-help book about depression. Here is a link for information on books about depression. If she read more about depression and tried some techniques that are known to work, she may see some improvement and be more willing to get treatment.

I hope this helps answer your question and your daughter gets the treatment she needs.

Question: Having free time is a major relapse trigger for me. I am 7.5 months sober and one way I have made it so far is by staying busy all the time. I have a scheduler and it is full. I feel like this is not sustainable but I am not sure how to power down or if I am ready. How do I start to face unstructured time without putting myself at risk?

Anna Deeds Says...:

Thank you for your question. Structuring your time is a great way to keep your mind off relapse in early recovery. However, you are right that you cannot 'keep busy' the rest of your life. You could see if you are ready for unstructured time by scheduling small blocks of time, maybe an hour or half hour in the beginning and observe how you feel. If you start to feel bored or triggered, use your support. You won't know if it will trigger you until you try it. The key is to have people in your life who you can call immediately if you do feel like using. I hope this answers your question.