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Parenting... Affirm your Efforts

  • Asks ...

    I worry about stuff all the time. I’ve always been sort of a worrier but it seems to be getting worse now that I have kids. I just worry all the time about what could happen to them and about keeping them safe and about if I am doing a good enough job as a parent.

    Whenever they are out of my sight I am so worried imagining all the things that could be going wrong that I can hardly concentrate on what I am doing. The thing is, I think all the worrying I am doing about being a good mom and keeping my kids safe is actually making me stressed out and miserable and less effective as a parent – but I just don’t know how to stop worrying. What can I do so that I stop worrying so much more than is healthy?

  • Tiffany Huggins Says ...
    Tiffany Huggins

    I can only imagine some of the thoughts and fears that a parent may have when their children are not in their presence. However, as you stated, those fears can prohibit you from being able to function successfully in other areas of life. It sounds as though your main fear is your effectiveness as a parent. I encourage you to daily focus on the positive aspects of your ability to care for your children. Whether it be, the household you are providing, the food you are preparing, the time you are spending with them afterschool, etc. Also it is important to keep in mind that if your child falls and scrapes his/her knee, it is not a relfection on your ability to parent. However, how you respond to your child in a time of crisis or when in danger probably will. There are some things you will not be able to control when your child is out of your presence, such as an accident or a fight. The key is to doing what you can as a parent to minimize the risk of your child being hurt by teaching your children safety guidelines as well as being aware of the different activities and places your child visits. A suggestion to help with your feelings of worry and anxiety is to remind yourself when you see your children that they came home and nothing happened to them while they were away from you. I also sugges that you look into creating affirmations for you to repeat whenever you start to worry and those feeilngs of anxiety start to incrrease. A few examples include: " I am a great mother who loves and proctects my children."  " I have no need to worry about things beyond my control." " My children are safe and protected by God in every situation." Of course you can design affirmations to fit your spiritual beliefs, but it is important for them to be positive in nature and reflect the thoughts or feelings that you are trying to overcome in that moment. I would aslo suggest talking to a professional in detail about your history of worry and anxiety and how it is manifesting itself in various areas of your life.

     

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