Question: I know I have a Xanax addiction and alcohol problems. I would seek professional help, but I live on an island in Asia and no one here speaks English. Another problem is that in this culture therapy is hard to get because it is looked down upon. I take at least 4 mg of Xanax a day and drink too much-What do you think is the safest way to stop both. Are saunas dangerous? I know I can't go cold turkey, but tapering off and using a sauna be ok? What about a cleanse? Thanks a lot-I am 8,000 miles from home and need help. No one here understands how hard it is.

Stephanie Adams Says...:

I'm glad you decided to write and seek help. I wish I could see you in person - I can understand how difficult your situation is. I want to recommend a resource to help - MDLiveCare.com. I can and will offer help as to the behavioral/social aspects of addiction and self-care, but I can't help you with the physical questions you brought up. I am not qualified to tell you a safe way to taper off Xanax and alcohol use, or how to use saunas. I know there is a way but without medical training I can't tell you about potential side effects. MDLiveCare.com offers consultations online with medical professionals even if you're not local...check them out and let me know what you think for the physical aspects of the question you just asked!

As for the mental health aspects of the question you asked, I don't know whether you're a native resident of the island in Asia you refer to or perhaps an expatriate of the U.S. or another country, but I want to encourage you to seek help via the web for addiction support groups and mental health care. I provide therapy online to Texas residents, and I can usually still see them even if they're temporarily located overseas. If you're seeing a non-U.S. therapist, you may not even have to see one in your (former) state of residence. There are a lot of great resources out there, including TherapyLiveCare.com, an affiliate of MDlivecare.com. There are chat groups, resource websites like selfgrowth.com and of course choosehelp.com! I can also recommend therapy websites iTherapyRx.com and Experts-Now.com. Don't give up. There is someone online right now, I'm sure of it, that is qualified and happy to help you. At the very least, if you want to email me privately I can more specifically direct you to someone who can provide you with therapy based on your specific location. You can get through it! Don't give up!

Question: I have a close friend who is addicted to Xanax and I am very worried for her. My question is should I stress to her the need for her to get help with getting off of this drug. She said she has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder but her last doctor only prescribed 5mg and had her on anti-depressants Effexor(sp) approx. 5 yrs ago...she said that the anti-depressants only made her gain weight so she stopped taking them but continued taking the Xanax. Her Dr said he wanted to ween her off the Xanax ...when the Xanax seemed to help her feel "normal" . When the Dr told her that he was wanting to ween her off the Xanax; she then started to buy them off the street out of fear of not having them. I do not want to be shut off because of my worries and telling her she needs help for this. Just last week the person she gets the Xanax from did not have any for her and she went almost 3 days w/o and it scared the heck out of me. I know you can have serious complications as a result thus is the reason I am searching for answers. Thank You , Worried Sick

Stephanie Adams Says...:

Dear Worried Sick,

The harsh reality is that you cannot control your friend's addiction - and it does seem to be an addiction - to Xanax or any other drug. You obviously care about her a lot, and if that was enough I know she would already be doing better. But your care for her sadly isn't enough. It has to come from within herself. It sounds like you see clearly the problems from her addiction to Xanax, but she does not.

That said, I think it's always worth expressing to your friend your concern for her well-being. She just may listen to you if she's never thought of this as a real problem before. The way to do it is to first sympathize with how she's feeling - she won't listen to you or anyone if she thinks you or they don't "get" her situation. The second thing is to express your love for her, and what you're worried about happening to her if she continues down that path. Point out the full extent of the problem as you see it, and offer possible solutions (without taking away the power of choice from her). Offer to support her in getting help - by going back to her doctor and asking for assistance, going to therapy, or seeking another kind of help. 

You have the BEST chance of success in this by focusing on the fact that you care about her and you are worried about her well-being. As hard as it might be, pressuring her to choose a better path right now may shut her down, so I encourage you to offer solutions without making her feel cornered.

To answer your question straight out, I do think it's worthwhile to tell your friend your fears for her, and to try to help. But remember it's her choice to get better, not yours. All you can do is try to help make it easier on her to change. And take care of yourself, too. This is a rough thing for a friend to see. I've been there, and it's hard. But she's lucky to have someone in her life that cares about her as much as you do.