Question: I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just don’t feel comfortable in my own skin. It’s not like I am anxious around people or lonely when I am alone or anything specific like that I just feel sort of uncomfortable and edgy all the time for no reason at all. Sometimes I feel dizzy too, for no reason. Other than that physically I feel fine so I am not sick. This started happening about 2 months ago and I thought it would go away and get better on its own but it is not. What’s wrong with me?

Dr. Shirley Schaye Says...:

I am very sorry to hear about how you are feeling. First, I want to say that if you feel dizzy that you should go to your internist to rule out any physical problem. Then, if everything is alright proceed to seeking out a therapist to discuss what iis going on. Without knowing your history or anything about you there is no way to know why you are feeling the way to are.

So ... ... First --- a check-up with your internist

Second --- go for an evaluation to a therapist to help you dig deeper to find out what is going on and get the right kind of therapy to help you to resolve your uncomfortable feelings.

If you need help finding a therapist, please let me know and I'll be glad to help you find someone.

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Question: Sometimes when I am walking home from the bus at night I get very scared and I think that people walking behind me are going to attack me. It feels totally real like my life is in danger and it takes all my self control to not freak out and run away screaming. Sometimes I did run away and I didn’t care how I looked. Now I won’t take evening shifts even though I really need the money because I am so scared of the walk home. The crazy thing is I have never been attacked at all and I live in a very safe part of town. The danger is all in my head but the TERROR I feel is real. I want to understand why I am scared of something that is not dangerous?

Dr. Shirley Schaye Says...:

I am sorry to hear how you are feeling. Since you live in a safe
part of town we can assume that this fear is not a reality, as you,
yourself, have pointed out.  I don't know anything about you or your
family history to enable me to determine why this is happening. I can
say this, though. Any well trained therapist who saw you in-person would
be able to help you, not only get to the root of why you are feeling the
way you are about your safety, but if you stayed in therapy the
therapist would be able to help you work this through. I would be very
glad to help you find a therapist with the right kind of training to
help you with this if you give me your city and zip code.

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Question: I am getting weird pains in my abdomen. The doctors can't find any explanation for them and since they are non localized and I am without other symptoms that would explain them (my liver and kidney function tests cam back fine) they suggested that it could be anxiety manifesting as abdominal pains. I don't feel anxious. Is it possible to have an anxiety problem that you are not aware of?

Dr. Shirley Schaye Says...:

I am sorry to hear about what is happening. Since you have ruled out
organicity by having kidney and liver tests you might want to do more
extensive tests. A physician would know what other tests to recommend.
If after having more tests and the doctors can still not find anything
wrong then and only then should you go for a consultation to a
therapist. It is crucial to first rule out organicity.  It is possible
to have physical symptoms and not be in touch with the anxiety. We call
that Psychosomatic Symptoms. But first go for a second opinion to again
rule out any physical symptomatology. Once you have a clean bill of
health a therapist can help you dig deeper to find out what is going on
and help you work through what is causing the anxiety if indeed that is
what is wrong.

I wish you well and hope that you can find a resolution to this problem.

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Question: Are there any over the counter medications that will work for anxiety? My wife is obviously dealing with a more than normal amount of anxiety in her daily life. I think she should go and talk to a psychiatrist about this but she refuses. She is Laotian and there is a lot of stigma to any kind of mental health stuff in her mind. It’s like she is trying to just tough it out and that whenever I try to get her to talk about it I am calling her a lunatic. Since she refuses to go and see a doctor I was wondering if there was any kind of over the counter medication I could give her that would help her to calm down. I am hoping that if she tries something mild and finds that it helps her feel better she will be more receptive to going to see a doctor to get a legitimate prescription for something that would really work.

Dr. Shirley Schaye Says...:

Kava is fine in small doses. You probably want Valerian root, though. Tincture of valerian root, which will be sold at pretty much any health food store, has a mild tranquilizing effect. Some people who have taken Kava, report that it has a mixed reputation. People have been taking it in the South Pacific for  many, many years, but some of the ways it's packaged for sale in the West have not been good. Kava, unlike GABA or Valerian, gives you a feeling kind of like getting tipsy. Kava may indeed do some good, but if you need more than a small dose you'll find it's a pretty potent sedative, not-unlike-alcohol effects.

Question: I have social phobia and I have no friends. Whenever someone at work looks at me in a weird way or whatever I always think they’re staring me down and whenever I see a group of people at the next desk over having a quiet chat I just immediately assume they are talking about me in a bad way. It’s kind of confusing because I know that sometimes I am just being paranoid but at the time it feels really real and I get all anxious and upset and angry. And I am pretty sure that sometimes it is true that they are talking badly about me. Especially because I am not very popular around the office because I tend to respond to people very harshly after I think they have been talking about me behind my back. It’s like I have created a negative circle for myself where I think people are talking badly about me even when they were not and so I respond harshly and then the next time I think they were talking badly about me they really were. Some of the people at my work are just huge A-holes but I can see that some of the problem is mine. I am really tired of being alone all the time and I am really trying to do better. How can I break free from this negative cycle I am in, especially since everyone here already thinks I am this angry loser?

Dr. Shirley Schaye Says...:

I am so very sorry to hear about the problems that you are experiencing. Let's separate these issues. I understand what you are saying about the people at work and that you believe that often they are talking about you and so it isn't always that you are being paranoid. Well that doesn't matter! Given that you feel the way you do you need to get help by entering therapy to work out your issues because even if they are being a**holes, you need to work on yourself so that if you enter a different place --- other social places or even other work you don't want to recreate the same pattern. Going to therapy will help you work through your social phobia and help you work on why you have no friends. You don't need to suffer with this all by yourself. The right kind of help is out there for you. If you let me know your city, state and zip code I'll be happy to find the right kind of therapist for you. So if you want to break free from this cycle get yourself into therapy. It will make an enormous difference.