Question: I am scared that I am going crazy. Here is why. Hangovers used to be tolerable. Now I wake up in mental agony. The physical side is no worse than before. However now I wake up with a really horrible feeling an anxiety that either something terrible is going to happen or I did something terrible the night before even when I know it was just a normal night out. I will go over and over again what I did the night before trying to understand what is causing my feelings. My heart pumps fast and I worry that I am about to have a mental break down. On the bus I feel everyone staring at me and I feel like everyone knows that I am about to lose it. Yesterday I had to get off the bus early because I could not take it anymore and walk the last 6 blocks. I don’t have a drinking problem but I like to go out with friends 2 or 3 times a week. I can take it or leave it though. What I am really worried about is my mental health. Does this sound like I have a mental illness?

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...:

Your question and concern are understandable, but before you go down the road of worrying about having a mental illness, you need to see if you have the same anxieties, paranoia, and fears if you do not drink at all. You state that you do not have a drinking problem but that you drink 2-3 times per week. How many times per week do you awaken with a hangover? There are a number of factors that indicate drinking is a problem . Check out the site highlighted and see where you fall in the descriptions...

IF you are willing to stop drinking altogether for a period of 30 days you can see if you continue to have the symptoms of anxiety and paranoia. You don't indicate your age or for how long you have been drinking a few times each week and how often you have these hangovers... All of these are factors in determining what is really going on. 

I would certainly recommend counseling regardless of the cause of your anxiety and other feelings because whatever the cause, they are certainly disconcerting and worthy of exploring. There are many options for you for choosing a counselor, and I'd seek out someone who specializes in anxiety disorders.Drinking can certainly mask underlying problems for awhile, but then problems are ultimately compounded. Please, do yourself a favor and take some serious time off from drinking to eliminate a risk factor, then we can better assess what your real issues are. 

You can still go out with your friends, but stick with club soda and see how you feel. Feel free to contact me if you need additional guidance or support in seeking the help you need and deserve. 

Question: I am plagued by a lot of worries about getting diseases, mostly infectious diseases where I might legitimately be exposed to a virus but the likelihood is low. How can you decide that a small probability of incurable illness or death is too small to take any action against?. The thing that will happen is I will be in the park and somebodies dog will come over and sniff me and lick me and then I will be OK in the moment but then afterwards I will start thinking about the possibility of rabies and I will research it and then I will go and get rabies shots even though my doctor says I probably do not need them. He cannot give me a 100% guarantee. This happened to me a few months ago. Or, whenever I cut myself outside I get very scared about tetanus and other diseases, especially when my booster gets close to expiring. Hepatitis C is another thing I will worry about a lot when I get my hair cut or go to the dentist. Once I know there is a small chance I have been exposed and infected I can’t get the thought out of my mind and this causes me a lot of stress and worry.

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...:

I am sorry that you spend so much of your time in a state of distress. As you indicate, you are aware that your worry is generally about health issues that have a low probability of occurring. When people suffer from these kind of recurring anxious thoughts to the point that they interfere with their overall lives, it's time to seek outside help and guidance. It sounds like your fears are limiting your abilities to fully participate in life and this in turn leads to an increase in 'fear-based' thoughts and beliefs. Your goal is to insure that you are safe and free from harm, but this is not a realistic way to live a full, rich and rewarding life. While germs exist in our world, our bodies are designed to be balanced and healthy, and the thoughts we bring into our systems impact our overall health and well-being. So, it's time to change your thoughts, and you can change your life...

There are a number of things that you can do to alleviate your stress and anxiety. Very often individuals who have the fears that you describe suffer from depression. Depression can take on a variety of symptoms and the fears and anxieties that you struggle with can be such indicators. So, I'd recommend finding a good therapist in your area with whom you can discuss these issues and thereby gain some clarity around how these fears took hold. Secondly, I recommend that you explore neurofeedback which will help alleviate the stress reactions you experience internally when you are confronted with a perceived threat. Thirdly, I'd recommend looking into Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)  EFT is something that you can use in the moment when a fear/anxious thought enters your mind to help calm you down and gain clarity in the moment so that you then have the option to respond to your stressor(s) differently. Many people have found this to be a very useful adjunct to any therapy they do. Since what you describe is very anxiety provoking and overwhelming, I would also recommend some relaxation/stress reduction programs such as Yoga, Tai chi, Qi Gong,  and there's even Laughing Yoga which you can do from the comfort of your own home. Laughing Yoga is a great way to relieve stress, anxiety and feelings of depression, so that you can then follow up with other treatment modalities that can bring you greater ease and fulfillment in your life. Please let me know if you need additional support or information. I wish you all the best, Loren

While there are a few medications that people have found to be helpful in short-circuiting their anxious thoughts, I do not prescribe medications, so I am not the expert to address this option.

Question: I have a complicated problem. I have a history of anxiety and panic, sleep apnea and daytime hypersomnia. I have a CPAP but my compliance is not very good because I just can’t sleep comfortably with that machine. My doctor wants to put me on provogil but I have a history of anxiety disorders and so I am pretty worried about this. I expressed my concern but she asked me if I was currently feeling excessively anxious and when I told her I was in remission she said the provogil was worth a try. I am currently unmedicated after a lot of CBT and exposure therapies. I avoid caffeine because it gets me feeling jittery in a way that I really don’t like. She says if I don’t like I can stop. I am worried. Should I risk stimulant treatment for my hypersomnia? What I am scared of is that it will get me back to having uncontrolled panic attacks again and then even if I stop the stimulants it will be too late again.

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...:

So, it sounds like you have been very diligent in exploring many interventions for your life issues. However, I don't see where you may have explored acupuncture, yoga, (various kinds) hypnotherapy, Emotional Freedom therapy (EFT) and neurofeedback and mindfulness interventions  All these interventions can address the myriad of issues you are struggling with and put the re-introduction of medications on a back burner.  You might also consider chiropractic care,homeopathy, cranio-sacral therapy as well as nutrition counseling. Foods we eat can impact our moods, hormones (which can impact anxiety and panic) as well as holistic medicine interventions.  I realize that this list sounds long and you may have some negative reactions to exploring alternative and complementary medicine, but I think that given everything you have already been through, these options seem worth checking out.

I understand your concern about medications and reactions while on the meds and then having to come off the meds. I would definitely look into at least some of the options I mention above... I do hope that you explore some of these additional resources and services. Please contact me if you have any additional questions... Wishing you serenity... Loren

Question: I have bad GAD. I normally have a very hard time at night because whenever I stop moving is when my thoughts explode and intrude all over my brain. I am thinking about buying some night time self hypnosis cds. You’re supposed to let these play over night and after a month you’re supposed to feel better. It has something to do with penetrating the subconscious when we stop awareness thought just before we fall to sleep. It’s like a crack in the door at that moment and if you let in these messages at that time, for enough nights in a row, then you actually change the way you think. And they are also supposed to help you sleep better too. Do you agree that these subconscious hypnosis tapes are a good idea? Or is it a waste of time and money?

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...:

It sounds like you've done some research, and some of these sleep aids can and do help, however, given your brief description of your problems, I would recommend incorporating some additional therapeutic interventions to your line-up.  You say that your anxiety gets worse at night, so yes, having some sleep meditations can be helpful to block some of the anxiety producing thoughts.  Have you been in therapy or are you now in therapy to help you to understand the root cause(s) of your anxiety? There are a number of very helpful interventions for dealing effectively with GAD.  1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)  Allows you to talk through the things that trigger your anxiety, understand what your reactions are and modify how you handle the anxious feelings to give you more control over your triggers.  2. Hypnotherapy By using hypnotherapeutic interventions you can get to the root causes of your anxiety and eliminate them from your life.  3. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) 4. Neurofeedback which can mitigate many anxiety reactions. 5. Tai chi, yoga, Chi-Gong (Quigong)... all these modalities help to mitigate anxiety and stress and can be beneficial in helping you to feel better in your life.  6. Self-hypnosis... listening to meditations can be very helpful in both getting to sleep, staying asleep and going back to sleep should you awaken. 

Many things can be improved by changing your thoughts, and there are a number of ways to do this, so don't just start and stop with one modality... Allow yourself to be open to the many possibilities that are available. I wish you all the best, and please let me know if you have any additional questions that I help to clarify for you. 

Question: I've been on medication for anxiety and depression since I lost my baby almost 6 years ago. I've seen my psychologist (who seemed to be more vocal about themselves than the concern with helping me). I've been to 2 different psychiatrist durning these years. My depression comes and goes, but the anxiety seems like a daily thing. I walked away from a great job, I do not go anywhere by mysef (in fear of anxiety attacks). Will I always have to continue the medication? Will I ever be myself again?

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...:

I am very sorry for your loss. I am also very sorry that you have not felt helped by the professionals you have seen. Yes, you can feel normal again, and you may not need medication forever, either.  It does depend on the kind of therapy you get going forward.  There are a number of interventions that are very helpful in dealing with your anxiety, which seems to be your greatest obstacle in re-entering your life.  You don't mention your husband, or if you have a support system where you live (family, friends, church, synagogue, etc) Have you been to a support group for parents whose babies have died?  Most hospitals offer resources for this type of group, and even though your loss was 6 years ago, you could still benefit from the support of a group.  Look into Compassionate Friends as a possible resource.

When a baby dies many feelings within us as mothers get triggered.  Our inherent trust of life is challenged, causing anxiety, depression, anger, etc. Doing some heart-centered hypnotherapy can prove to be very helpful and beneficial to help you heal from within.  Since it's now been 6 years certain reactions within you (ie: anxiety) have become a habit... this habitual reaction can also be changed with a couple of different modalities: 1. neurofeedback, mindfulness, and changing your beliefs about yourself, life and how you handle life.  Many people find Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) very helpful in overcoming anxiety and anxiety reactions. 

It's very important for you to look at "your desired outcome" in all this.  Many people are afraid that if they return to a "normal" life it means that they no longer care about the child they lost, or that they no longer miss their child. This belief, while very common, is also very self-destructive and patently untrue.  You are able to honor your loss while still living a full, enjoyable life and even experience happiness and fulfillment.  You do not have to feel locked in your current state or lifestyle. If you are open to self-help books as well, there are many helpful books you can read that you might find beneficial. If you and your husband have not done counseling together, you might also want to have some marriage counseling sessions so that you can both feel supported and guided to living a more fulfilled life. 

I hope that these recommendations are helpful.  Please contact me if you need additional assistance or support. I wish you all the best, Loren

Question: Is hypnosis something that can help me with social anxiety? As soon as I get in a social situation outside of work I get terrified and I just feel so uncomfortable.

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...:

The short answer is yes, hypnosis can help you deal with social anxiety.  First, however, it's important to pay attention to what it is about social situations outside of work that causes you anxiety. Have you always had this social phobia or is it something new? Was there a triggering event, or has this anxiety simply built up over time? Do you have friends with whom you socialize, or do you just go to work and then home? Do you ever suffer from any other kind of anxiety, or is it limited only to social situations?  I realize that I am asking you many questions, but these are questions for you to consider as you decide the type of therapy that would be best for you.

Hypnosis can help you to get to the root or source of the social anxiety that you experience and create some new beliefs and behaviors that will eliminate your terror and discomfort.  Hypnosis can also help you to heal whatever it is that has triggered this anxiety.  Additionally, you might look into neurofeedback which can physiologically help to offset the anxiety that you feel.  You can also do some mindfulness work which is very effective in dealing with and overcoming anxiety. Many people also benefit from EFT (Emotional Freedom therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

I hope that you find the treatment modality that will work best for you. Therapy is very beneficial in dealing with issues that come up in life.  I don't know if you have done any therapy in the past, but in choosing a therapist, please make sure that you choose someone with whom you feel comfortable, respected and understood.  Therapists have different perspectives and styles and you need and deserve to find a therapist who has a specialty in dealing with social anxiety. I wish you the best as you move forward with renewed comfort, confidence and empowerment.

Question: There is nothing physically wrong with me. I am 39 and I asked for a EKG on my last physical even though my doctor said it wasn't necessary and it came back totally fine. But I am worried all the time that there is something wrong with my heart. I feel like it sometimes skips a beat and sometimes it seems to slow down almost to a stop. Other times it is pounding so hard that I can see veins throbbing my neck. It has got to the point now that I am checking my pulse literally a hundred times a day and when ever it feels off my stomach does this lurch and I feel almost like I am going to throw up. My doctor didn't have any help for me. I can see that I am acting crazy but I don't know what to do.

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...:

Take a deep breath!  It's excellent that you had the EKG done so that you can know that physically you are in good shape.  Now you get to take care of you on different levels.  It sounds to me like there are issues in your life that are causing you stress that you haven't yet identified or dealt with and your body is letting you know it's time.  Here are some suggestions to help you get through the moments when you're heart is either racing or you feel it slowing down:  STOP! (whatever you are doing) BREATHE! (long slow deep breaths... in through your nose to the count of 4, hold your breath to the count of 4 and exhale gently through your mouth... to the count of 4) FOCUS! (Is something going on that bothers you, upsets you or angers you, etc... ? Notice what may have triggered your reaction. Once you are aware of what has triggered your reaction it will be significantly easier to come up with effective strategies to deal with it. 

I strongly recommend counseling with someone who is experienced in mindfulness, hypnotherapy, stress management, or mind/body therapy.  You might also want to explore how neurofeedback can be helpful to you. There are a number of complementary services that can also prove beneficial to your situation.  Look into Yoga, QiGong, Massage therapy, Emotional Freedom Therapy (EFT) or Cranio-Sacral Therapy. 

It is imperative that you explore what it is your body is communicating to you with these symptoms so that you can feel stronger and more empowered.  I offer workshops and a variety of programs that may prove helpful as well.  Please just know that your body/heart is asking you to pay attention, and you have some recommendations here that can prove to be very helpful.  Know that you are not crazy, you simply need to learn new ways to address the issues that are coming up for you in your life right now. 

Question: What is the best kind of therapy for depression and anxiety? I am very depressed and I also get panic attacks so I am almost house bound with anxiety. I am a mess and I do not want to live this want any more!

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...:

I'm sorry to hear how much you are struggling with your feelings.  There are a variety of possibilities for therapy for you.  I am not sure where you live, so what the best resources for you and where they are located will be part of the research you'll need to do to see what fits best and how easily accessible the therapy is for you.

You say that you are practically homebound as a result of your anxiety.  I am hoping that you will at least go out to get to a therapist since I do believe that face to face therapy will be the best approach for you.  Once you determine that there is no medical basis for the anxiety (thyroid, adrenal issues, heart, etc.) then getting to talk with a therapist to understand the root cause(s) of your depression, panic and anxiety is the first step.  All symptoms serve a purpose and understanding their purpose helps you to not feel so angry and frustrated... Learning what has triggered this reaction in you so that you can learn to handle the situation, beliefs, circumstances differently is a big step in changing how your body and mind react.

You can also benefit from hypnotherapy to get to the source of your anxiety and depression

Neurofeedback is very effective in changing how your system responds to events in your life.

Emotional Freedom Therapy (EFT) has been shown to be effective as well in changing one's perceptions about circumstances in life.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can also be effective in helping you to change your behaviors/reactions to the situations that cause you the most anxiety.

Participating in a yoga, tai-chi, meditation and even a laughing yoga class can prove to be very helpful as well as additional support for you as you go through the therapy you need to clear the habits and reactions that are keeping you stuck. 

I do hope that this gives you a place to start.  On my website are some fee meditations that you can access and download to get you started, and help you enter into the process of change... You can access them at www.wellfromwithin.com   Find the ones that work best for you.  If you find that reading is helpful to you, my book can be very instrumental in helping you to cope with some of the issues you are facing in your life.  You can see if it's what you need to augment the therapy that you choose: Being Well Within: From Distressed to De-Stressed

I hope that this is helpful on your journey to live empowered.  You deserve the best.  Wishing you well, Loren

Question: I have had 3 panic attacks since March. I am terrified I am going to have another one and I feel a lot of dread whenever I think about the fact that another one is probably going to come someday soon. What do I need to do to get better so I do not have to live with this constant worry anymore? Can you recommend what kind of therapy I need?

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...:

I understand how scary panic attacks are, but know that they can be stopped... In the meantime, before you get to a therapist and work this through, please practice the following strategy for getting through the panic...

When you start to feel your anxiety rise, take a long slow deep breath.  Inhale for the count of 4... hold your breath for the count of 4 and slowly release your breath through your mouth to the count of 4... wait for the count of 4 and start again... The act of breathing and counting will redirect your thoughts that are causing your panic and short circuit the panic...

It's important to realize that your thoughts (whatever they might be) trigger the panic... not the other way around. There are a number of possible choices for you for therapeutic interventions that can be helpful... Much depends on the reason you suddenly started having panic attacks in March and not before... Please make sure you get checked by an MD to make sure that there are no physiological changes in your body that need to be addressed (adrenal, hormonal, thyroid, etc...)

Once you've been cleared medically, then I'd recommend that you start with a therapist who can help you clarify  what is going on in your life that is stressing you and overwhelming you, thus leading to the panic attacks... a panic attack from my perspective is your body having a tantrum, just like a child might who is starved for attention and care...

You might try regular talk therapy, hypnotherapy, EFT (emotional freedom therapy) and depending on the nature of the panic attacks, neurofeedback can also prove to be very beneficial and helpful...

On my website are a number of free audio meditations that can help you learn to relax, breathe and quiet you mind and body so that you can deal with the stresses in your life more effectively... You can get the meditations at www.wellfromwithin.com.

Please let me know if you need additional information or support. Wishing you all the best, Loren

Question: I have come to understand that my perfectionism is related to a lot of the anxiety I feel on a daily basis. I am tired of feeling worried and anxious and like nothing is ever good enough. I have always been a perfectionist. Is it possible for me to change this part of me?

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...:

In a short answer, Yes, you can change.  Perfectionism is a symptom of insecurity and uncertainty, fear and low self-esteem.  Therapy will help.  Working on and understanding the root of your need to be perfect will help you to change that behavior.  Learning to understand and accept that 'who you are is enough' is critical... there is a difference between who you are and what you do or how you do it. 

Getting to the source of your need to achieve perfection is key to changing this behavior and belief that nothing you do is good enough...

There are a variety of therapeutic interventions that can prove to be helpful:  Talk therapy, with some hypnotherapy would be beneficial... Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can also prove to be helpful as you modify your behaviors away from the stress of perfectionism.  You might also be interested in neurofeedback which is shown to be very helpful in reducing anxiety reactions.  

If self-help is the way you want to go, my book, Being Well Within: From Distressed to De-Stressed can be very helpful as there are workbook exercises at the end of each chapter to guide you to a healthier space internally.  

All of the above are designed to help you move from a stressful place in your life (even if it's been 'forever') to a more centered and positive space

I understand how frustrating and upsetting your behaviors can be, and I want you to know that there is help available so that you can feel free of the stress of perfectionism and thus more empowered and fulfilled in your life.  I hope that this gives you a new perspective so that you can move into your life with new direction and insights... All the best, Loren (www.fromdistressedtodestressed.com)