Question: I am a recovering alcoholic with 8 years sober. I am heartbroken because my dog (a beautiful greyhound) died and this has been very upsetting to me actually it has knocked me into very severe insomnia. My dog died 2 weeks ago after getting hit by a truck when she was chasing a rabbit. My doctor says I should take a short cycle of Ambien to get back into a normal sleeping cycle. Is a 5 days of Ambien very dangerous for me since I have a history of substance abuse? I feel like I am on the edge of taking a drink.

Jill Edwards Says...:

When I looked the Ambien up it was quite clear that Ambien should not be taken by someone with a history of alcohol or drug misuse. You can use some herbal medicines perhaps like Valerian and Hops and Chamomile. Sometimes you can get Herbal remedies which have a number of herbs in them. You can go to sleep at regular times.

But my feeling is that you are very upset and this is what is hurting. It would be useful to find a friend you can talk about your grief with. You may sleep better after a good cry. Spending time valuing what this dog has given you in life and being up front about the loss you have had, may very well help to break the cycle.

You will definitely not feel better by having a drink.

Alcohol does not provide proper sleep and it is not a solution to loss and grief.

Do what you can to provide a memorial for your pet. A book of his pictures, some writing about him, perhaps a poem.

This dog needs honoring, and you will not be doing that if you take to drinking.

Try to make sure that you spend a fair amount of time with people and not on your own which will make you feel worse and put you at risk.

Be strong for yourself, honour the dog and honour your own 8 years of sobriety. Ask your sober friends for support.

Best wishes to you

Question: My brother is a really severe alcoholic. He is in very poor health. He is living with my family because he has nowhere else to go. He refuses all attempts to change him and honestly after 20 years of trying to get him to stop I have given up hope that he ever will. He looks very thin and weak now. He has been throwing up a lot and says he has no appetite. I can see residue of blood in the toilet bowl when he is not careful to clean up after himself. He is 47. He will not discuss his medical problems with me. He is more than 6 feet tall but very thin and weak looking except for what I always thought of as a small beer belly but which now just looks like a bloated stomach. He drinks at least a bottle of vodka a day or probably more. He also seems depressed and hopeless. I think he is dying and I want to be prepared. What are the signs that would indicate that the end is getting near. I don’t mean to sound callous but I do not know how to ask these questions except matter of fact like.

Jill Edwards Says...:

Dear anonymous, I am really sorry to hear of your bother's poor situation. Clearly I agree with you that he is very ill and you have carefully described all the signs that I would look for. I do agree that if things carry on the way they are, then an early death is the most likely conclusion.

But, I would like you to make him aware that even at this stage, he could receive lifesaving medical treatment, if that is what he wanted. I should also like to tell you that he may well last for a lot longer than you expect.

The immediate risks are from bleeding in the stomach because the stomach lining is affected and clearly it would be useful if he could take some omaprezole to alleviate this.

Unfortunately the end state is quite painful, as the organs are affected by the thinning of the blood and are unable to function properly. I think he could be told that. I should think that if you notice that he has gone very yellow, because the liver is not functioning very well, then he would be getting nearer the end than he is now.

I would thoroughly advise you to make contact with a support group for you, so that you get some support at this difficult time. I would suggest Al-Anon and also make sure that you have a good circle of friends, and can get some breaks from caring. Perhaps someone else can support you by coming in and sitting with him. This is the best way you can prepare and it may even help him to think of getting some help for himself.

My heart goes out to you and your brother.

Question: Will theanine help me quit drinking and can I take it wile I am drinking about 10 to 20 drinks a day right now? I know that this herb is supposed to make people feel more relaxed and stress and frustration are big triggers for me. I am not on any other medications and I do not want to go on anything addictive.

Jill Edwards Says...:

Hi, I was interested in the effects of theanine and I looked it up. Sure there are some good effects. The site I looked at was http://altmedicine.about.com/od/greentea/a/Theanine.htm and they mentioned that it helped stress, immune system, brain health, depression and weight loss. So it may well be helpful when you have stopped drinkingBut it is unlikely to help you while you are using large amounts of alcohol. Alcohol is a much more powerful anti anxiety drug than the theanine. In fact it can help you to pass out to a place where there is no anxiety at all. The interesting thing about alcohol is that it apparently reduces anxiety. It does this by wiping out the source of the anxiety, the forebrain, that it the thoughts we have that make us anxious. But the use of alcohol, especially in high quantities, leads to increased anxiety and panic attacks, this is because the withdrawal symptoms take effect and a person is in withdrawal most of the time, whether they are drinking or not.So you are in a serious situation. Your drinking is at a point where it will affect your health and could lead in the end to effects on your liver and in fact, if the situation does not change to an early and unpleasant death.And you are beginning to think that you need to do something.It is difficult, but what will help is if you focus on reducing your use of alcohol. Find some friends who can support you in this, or go to some AA meetings and find some support there. Then take on a slow programme of reduction. Every week make a little change. Decide that for that week you will not drink more than 15 cans a day, then drop it the next week down to 13 cans a day. When you get to 10 cans, drop just one can a week. Slowly does it. You will have time to make the changes in living and get used to less. If you stop suddenly without medical support, you are likely to experience fitting or maybe even death.Keep a record, so you can see how well you are doing. AA is a good place to get support. When your drink is down to 4 drinks a day, you could try a little counselling about the things that are worrying you.The supplements you could do with now are Vitamin B and zinc.Enjoy the theanine when you have stopped drinking. In the mean time drink green tea. It tastes good when you get used to it. Best wishesJill Edwards

Question: I have a drinking problem and I am probably depressed. If I take antidepressants is this going to make it easier or harder for me to control my drinking?

Jill Edwards Says...:

As you are probably aware, alcohol is itself an effective depressant, so an antidepressant will only undo the work that alcohol is doing and I do not recommend it. The best way to make it easier to stop drinking is to get some help either from a local agency or from a self help organisation like AA. In the mean time, you should spend some quiet time assessing the role of alcohol in your life and thinking about what your life could be like if you did not have the problems that alcohol brings with it. You should also not stop immediately and go cold turkey. You should speak to your doctor and use any medication he prescribes for withdrawal. Speak honestly to those around you and they will also help you to see the damage that has happened or may happen to you. If you find that even when you are sober, you are still experiencing depression that will be the time to try anti-depressants. But I have seen some very depressed people recover completely when they sobered up. Good Luck.

Question: What percentage of people actually make it through all of the 12 steps?

Jill Edwards Says...:

I am sorry I don't know the answer to that. I do know that it is a lot less than one would hope. But, there is a well known adage which says "It works if you work it" and I have a son who is 13 years sober and can attest to that. Many people have created a wonderful recovery within AA. They have been able to put things right in their relationships and feel that they are putting something back into life by helping the newcomers they meet and becoming a sponsor.

Whether it works for you will mostly depend on what you put in and what you bring in from your past. I wish you well.

Question: Have heard a lot that people with alcohol problems are also hypoglycemic and that low blood sugar is what causes a lot of alcohol cravings. I definitely have an alcohol problem but I am not sure how my blood sugar is. How can I know if my low blood sugar is the cause of my alcohol cravings? I try to eat at regular times and my diet is normal and pretty healthy.

Jill Edwards Says...:

In a straightforwards reply, I could suggest that you take the simple test for diabetes and that would tell you if you had a serious sugar problem. But understanding how the sugar metabolism works would give you better guidance:

Insulin regulates the amount of sugar available in the blood. If we take in a high dose of sugar, the insulin will shut down the sugar level in the blood, which is why we might feel not good a while after taking sugar, in fact we might get hungry all over again. Alcohol, and especially lagers and beers have large quantities of sugar, which produces this cycle of drop in sugar level in the blood which is relieved by more alcohol and more sugar. This situation is further exacerbated, when alcoholics stop eating and only drink.

However, my understanding is that you are not particularly suffering from this cycle as you are eating regular meals so you need to understand that regular drinking does create a pattern which is difficult to stop as the body becomes used to the level of drinkiing and all the habits around it. If you have been drinking habitually to excess, then you should get medical advice as to whether you can safely stop drinking or may need some medication to help you over.

As far as the eating is concerned, it is important to as you say eat regularly. Get a good proportion of protein foods and vegetables and keep sweet foods to a minimum. Eat before drinking and get some Vitamin B especially Vitamin B12 supplements. Sugar is important, eating properly is important, but what you really have before you is the choice between a life taken down by drinking and taking up life as a sober person. 

I wish you every support in the coming New Year and the positive changes you deserve.

Question: My brother doesn’t drink much on most days but about 2 or 3 days a week he has 7 or 8 beers and gets pretty drunk. I know this because he lives with me. He is 39 and he has been doing this for many years. He doesn’t think he has a problem but I am worried that this can’t be good for his health at his age…he is not a kid anymore. I have asked him to slow down but he says there is no reason to. I know he is drinking too much but it doesn’t seem like he needs rehab or AA or any of that stuff so I am not sure what I should be suggesting he do. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

Jill Edwards Says...:

You are perfectly correct to say that your brother's health will be affected by drinking way over the suggested limits and it would benefit him to have a chat to his doctor about the likely effects on his liver, pancreas, memory, heart system and so on. Alcohol affects all parts of the body. I would certainly suggest that he should take high levels of Vitamin B in order to reduce the brain damage. It is also true that when someone is drunk and do not have sensible control over their behaviour that they can take actions which have far reaching damage on their future, via accidents, fights etc. At that level of drinking it would also be useful to cut down over a period of a couple of weeks, not to stop suddenly.

Given all this, I suspect that the real problem is that you do not want to live with someone who is "getting pretty drunk" 2 or three days a week. It may be necessary for you to think this through. If you do not want this behaviour then you do have the right to give him the choice of modifying his behaviour or finding some other place to live. It is not easy to set out these alternatives, and I suggest that you contact Al-Anon so you have some other people to discuss your experience with and some help and advice in handling it. Think it through with some support before you take any action you are not ready to take.

Best of luck!

Question: I know that hypnosis can help people quit smoking. Can it help people who drink too much liquor also? I think that it might work for me because I do not think about drinking too much until I am triggered by certain things, like seeing friends in a pub and then I always drink way too much.

Jill Edwards Says...:

You ask whether hypnosis will stop your drinking and I think the answer lies in knowing more about the hypnotherapist and yourself. There probably are hypno therapists who can help you, but they would be curative therapists who would take into account all your circumstances. And if you were working with someone you would need to be in a position where you really wanted to stop drinking.

It is good news to know that you are not thinking about drinking all the time and that your brain is freed up to do other things. If you tend to get drinking with friends in a pub, it looks like, there are a number of things going on. One might be because you are friendly with people who are heavy drinkers, and you may need to get involved in some other friendships where drinking in the pub is not all that they do. On the other hand you may be relatively shy about meeting people in the pub and you may be getting drunk to help you deal socially with the situation.

On the other hand if you always drink way too much, it looks as though you may have a personal problem with alcohol. If this is the case, then you may do well to stop going to the pub and to stop drinking before you get involved in trouble, being mugged, getting involved with difficult partners or whatever else drinking too much might bring. It might be anything.

In summary, if you know a good hypnotherapist, they might be worth a try, but it does not cost anything to try new behaviour and you could do with keeping away from circumstances which will definitely get you into more trouble than you had bargained

Question: I am 6 weeks sober and I do not feel as good as I thought I would. I was expecting to have a lot of energy and enthusiasm for life again like I used to but now I find it hard to get excited about doing anything. I am forcing myself to get out and exercise every day and I go to work every day but there other than that I am not interested in doing anything at all. Is this normal for so long a period of sobriety? Do you think I have "post acute withdrawal syndrome" or is the way I am feeling from something else?

Jill Edwards Says...:

I have heard of "post acute withdrawal syndrome", but more in connection with prescribed medication and I do not have the feeling that this is what you are dealing with. Alcohol as I am sure you know is a depressant and you may have been using it for quite a life, but not only have you been chemically depressing yourself, but also you will not have been putting your energies into your normal life, so you may well find yourself facing a desert around, just because you have not been nourishing your life with your attention and activity.

It may be worse than that, your drinking activities may have led you to make errors of judgement, or to have made some people around you angry with you, and it is possible that you feel a little down on yourself as you wake up and find out the consequences of your drinking. You may also feel that having sobered up, there are a large group of friends it is no longer safe for you to be around and that as a consequence you don’t have a large group of people you can depend on.

One thing you should be doing is to really up your intake of Vitamin B, especially Vitamin B12. That will help to build up the nervous system again. Have a physical check-up especially your liver and pancreas to make sure these have not been damaged. I believe you are doing the main thing which is to carry on getting out to work and doing the exercise, but recovery is a long and complicated game and I do suggest that you join a group working with recovery in mind. If the depressed feeling continues for another 6 weeks, then you may need to contact your doctor to establish whether there was an underlying depression, which now needs addressing, but I do not think this is the case. I think with healthy eating, healthy associations and exercise, that life will pick up a little. But do get some support from people who know what it is like to be beginning sobriety.

Question: I am 17 and I have been drinking at parties since I was 13. Now I feel like I need it on the weekends and I am always drunk on Fri and Sat but I never drink during the school week. It scares me a little that I feel like I need to get drunk every week but I almost never drink except on the weekends and I never drink alone so at least I am not an alcoholic. How do I get so I can still get loaded when there is a good party but that I do not feel like I need a buzz on a Friday when we are just sitting around watching movies or some shit.

Jill Edwards Says...:

I think you are pretty intelligent, when you get a little scared. The feeling that you need to get drunk, is a warning that there is something interfering with the life you would like for yourself. Alcohol can damage your life quite seriously, without making you dependent first. While you are drunk, you could get into trouble.

Alcohol stops you from being able to think about your actions and be cautious when you need to be.Regular drinking also stops you from developing relationships and taking part in enjoyable activities, it interferes with your studies, remember that alcohol actually damages your brain a little every time you drink. In time it produces noticable memory loss. People with a serious problem take Vitamin B to reduce the damage.It seems to me that you have developed a safe pattern of drinking when you are interacting with other people socially, it helps to get over the nervousness when you with people you would like to have a good impression of you.

I would suggest that you take up some other acitivities. Try mixing up your drinks so that there are some, water or soft drinks in the evening. Drink only one night in the weekend and try to do other things on the other evening. When you are in a pub, try to play pool and talk to other people.You have a choice now and it is a very important choice. The pattern of drinking you have now can develop in to binge drinking, which to means drinking solidly for a number of days at a time then stopping for a while then doing it again. It is a serious form of alcoholism, which is why I am suggesting that you break up this pattern now and start doing things with your life, before alcohol takes over and does real damage to the enjoyable life you can have.