Question: I am married to a man (Oct 2,2012) who i knew enjoys his liquor. sometimes he drinks so much he looks like he could do damage to myself and my 13 yr old son.like he is a different person. He has threatened me and said he "doesnt want to be here" Of course he says he doesnt remember the next day. (Black outs?) Saturday he busted through our sliding glass door. (he couldnt believe he did this but he has stitches and the bill to have the glass replaced-over 300 dollars- but i will of course be paying for this) I have been looking through sights for places he can go but they all want 75 to 91 dollars a day for intreatment. i only make sixty dollars a day. He has been unemployeed since 2007. is there a place in colorado spring Co he can go to as an out patient? Virtually free if not completely? He hasnt been to a doctor to say he is depressed but i know what i see and he is.

Lita Perna Says...:

You need to get away now…immediately… from this man to protect yourself and your son.

You’re correct. He could do damage to you and your son.

If you stay, he probably will.

This is a warning.

It will get worse.

He is dangerous.

Let him get his own help for himself. He is not your job.

Raising your son in a healthy and safe environment is your job.

You need to put yourself and your son first.

You're on a dangerous path.

And so is your son.

Question: I have a secret cocaine habit that is getting out of control. I don't know how things got so crazy so fast. I did a few lines at a party after like 20 years of not thinking about the stuff like a year ago and now I can't go a few hours without a bump. The problem is I am a single dad of 2 teenage girls. I know I need to go to rehab but if I do I am going to lose custody - but if I don't go I don't now what is going to happen. I feel so squeezed and the only thing way I know how to deal with this problem doesn't seem to be helping any more. I tried NA and it was a joke. I went out to my car after the meeting and got high right away. I think my girls know something is off with me but I don't think they know what the problem is. How do I get better when I just can't get away for more than a couple of days?

Lita Perna Says...:

Don’t you think it will be likely that you will lose custody if you don’t get help?

This can only get worse. You have to do something to get sober…like really soon before you risk everything.

I think you know that.

Do you also know that your girls probably know more than you think they know? Could they be confused and frightened by your behavior? Have you ever sat down with them and talked---really talked about what they think is ‘off with you’?

Have you considered getting someone---perhaps a trusted friend or family member to watch the girls? Have you considered seeing an outpatient substance abuse counselor? Have you checked into attending a non- NA/AA Non- Twelve Step Recovery-Type of meeting like Smart Recovery?

There are options.

You are only as trapped as you believe you are.

Question: Is it a good idea to go to rehab with my girlfriend or is it a better idea for both us to go to separate places. We are both addicted to cocaine my parents have said they will pay for both of us to get some treatment. We are both ready for a new start in life and ready to quit this life.

Lita Perna Says...:

If your parents said they would pay for treatment, why are you here asking this question instead of being in treatment right now? You're not stalling, are you?

I hope you know how fortunate you are that you're getting someone to pay for your treatment.

I don't know what you mean when you say 'going to rehab'. It can mean different kinds of treatment, usually outpatient.

You should be your main focus, not your girlfriend, your relationship or her recovery.

She may not be the best person for you to be around right now.

Or ever.

I suggest you each go it alone.

Until you can each stand strong alone, you won't be good for each other.

Question: I have been abusing Adderall and Vyvanze for like 11 months and I am pretty addicted now (I am also ADD legit but I took way more than I was prescribed). I always use some but I go back and forth from binges to trying to keep it under control and when I am on a binge it can get pretty crazy and I can almost lose touch with reality and I get real shaky and my friends tell me I get pretty weird to be around. I want to try tapering off. What I want to know is if a doctor will give me a prescription for Xanax or another benzo to help me deal with the cravings to binge when they get bad. I am sure I could get it anyway… but I think if I had some of that it would help me a lot to stay on some sort of tapering program.

Lita Perna Says...:

I admire you for your honesty for telling your story here, and your wisdom at seeking the help of a physician and for not trying to treat this yourself.

I understand you have concerns about tapering off.

You didn’t mention if you have had issues with other drugs like alcohol, marijuana or narcotic drugs; often, abuse of one drug means there has been a history of abuse of other drugs. And often, abuse of one drug leads to abuse of another drug.

I suggest you see a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction. A psychiatrist will also have experience treating ADD. The doctor would be the best person to answer your question.

The doctor may suggest inpatient care in a comprehensive treatment program first, if your addiction is deemed serious enough.

Be prepared to continue to tell the truth and to do whatever it takes to get your life back.

Will a doctor give you a script for a benzo to help you deal with cravings to binge?

Benzos are highly addictive.

Are you at risk for a dual addiction?

I can't answer your question. Your doctor can.

And I have a question for you: If the doctor you see refuses, what are you going to do?

You can always 'doctor shop' but you'd be buying a ticket to hell.

Question: I am in a bad situation. I have got a job offer to move to a much better paying job. It is the job I have been working toward for 7 years and everyone knows I have to take it. The problem is I have developed a bit of a vicodin addiction over the last 6 months and this new job does drug screening and drug testing and I am not going to pass the test. I need to get clean enough to pass a drug test in 16 days and I can’t handle the quit. I have tried but it is too hard. If I go on Suboxone will they drug test for that?

Lita Perna Says...:

Did you get the script for Vicodin from a physician? If yes, you may be able to get a note from the doctor.

I am not an expert on pharmacology so I looked around and found this from a reputable physician whom I also looked up to verify credentials. Her name is Jana Burson, MD, and I think her words will be encouraging to you. Her link is below.

Apparently, a specific test must be done to detect Suboxone (Buprenorphine). Most places don’t test for this. Check this out: http://janaburson.wordpress.com/2011/06/23/drug-tests-and-suboxone-buprenorphine/

I wish there were some way you could let me know that you got the job.

P.S.: You don't have "a bit of a Vicodin addiction." You have a Vicodin addiction. I know you're going to do something about it. You're smart. You're upwardly mobile. You have a future. Get help!

Question: I am addicted to Ambien. I started taking it a year and a half ago and now I am up to 20mgs a day (more than I am prescribed I have to buy extra from my weed dealer). I curse the fact that my doctor ever gave me this evil med. It worked for a while but I still don’t sleep well now but if I don’t take it I have night terrors and hallucinations and shakes and depression and headaches. It is HELL. I do not think I can ever get off this drug on my own. Is there something I could do like go to rehab where they could medicate me to get through the worst of these withdrawals? I can’t do it on my own but I am tired of being a slave to this evil drug!!!

Lita Perna Says...:

Fortunately, you can get off, but you must tell your doctor (or another doctor) the truth.

Yes there are medications that will help but you must see a doctor.

There are forums on the web that may encourage you and give you strength, but you need to see a doctor.

I suggest you look for a physician who specializes in addiction medicine. The quicker you find one and the quicker you call and the quicker you make an appointment the quicker you’ll end this nightmare.

Did you get how many times I suggested you see a doctor? Good.

Because you don’t have to do it alone.

Question: My dad needs to go on oxygen after smoking for 40 years. He says that he can’t stop and since you can’t obviously smoke while on oxygen he has more or less decided he’s not going to comply with his doctor’s recommendations. This is insane, that he is choosing cigarettes over breathing. I am not ready to see him die. He is only 64. He says he’s tried everything and he just can’t quit. What’s the best thing for a person who has been smoking for so long to try, when he really needs to quit. He needs to quit right now so it’s got to work fast.

Lita Perna Says...:

You say that your dad has, more or less decided he’s not going to comply with his doctor’s recommendations and he is choosing cigarettes over breathing.

As much as you want him to quit, it is his choice. But it is the choice made by someone who is addicted. He says he's tried everything. What does he say he has tried? Has he had even a little bit of success with any of his attempts? Even a little success is still success. If he has, focus on that.

Support him and gently urge him to at least consider trying again. Criticising, nagging and using scare tatics doesn't usually work.

Needing oxygen and being hospitalized for shortness of breath is what got my 86 year old mother to finally quit after 60 years.

Gasping for breath and having no choice about using oxygen to simply breathe may be the turning point for your dad.

I know you love him. It's isn't easy to be so powerless, but It is up to him.

Question: Is it weird to be an addict without any particular reason for it? I had a pleasant childhood, was never abused in any way, came from a loving family home and still have excellent relations with my family members and had every advantage in life – and still I’m an addict. It seems that all the other junkies I know have these horror stories from early life that I just don’t have and the one time I talked to a ‘professional’ about my ‘substance abuse’ she kept digging around in my childhood, trying to find some reason for it all I think. So is it weird to just like drugs a lot and do them way more than you should, just because you love that feeling and not because you’re trying to escape from anyone or anywhere in particular?

Lita Perna Says...:

No it is not weird to like drugs a lot. That’s why people use them. It is also not weird to do drugs ‘way more than you should.’ It is a sign of dependence. (Doing drugs way more than you ‘should’ could also kill you, but that’s another subject.) My question to you: What is way more than you should? How much ‘should’ you be using?

Getting addicted is easy. You don’t need a reason. Your body will give you a reason when it needs the drugs to function.

I am glad you said you still have excellent relations with your family members. By adding the word ‘still’ it shows your awareness that with your continued drug use your excellent relations will be compromised, strained and possibly destroyed.

I’m curious why you’d write to Choose Help if you feel comfortable with your using. You also say you’ve talked with a professional. Could you really be a bit uneasy about your use?

I hope so.

You may not have horror stories from early life but if you keep on using, you’ll have plenty to tell in your future.

Question: My brother has been using crack for about 5 or 6 years. He is barely recognizable as the same personality that he used to be. It seems like the crack has destroyed his brain. If he stops using will he go back to being the person he used to be or is the crack damage forever?

Lita Perna Says...:

1. No one is the same person they were 5 or 6 years ago.

2. There's a chance that if he stops using he will be a wiser and stronger and more grateful person than he ever was. His stopping may be the greatest challenge he has ever faced in his life. If he succeeds and remains sober he will be someone to admire and his strength will an inspiration to many people...including you.

Question: I am a 46 year old male who has been taking Xanax 1 mg tabs 4x's per day for about 1 and 1/2 years. I have had anxiety and panic attacks since I was a child. Though Xanax has helped them almost completely go away I feel the need for more of them especially when it comes to helping me sleep. I also have some insomnia issues. I can definitely can tell when I do not have enough Xanax in my system by the uneasiness feeling I get mostly in my feet. My feet also will twitch at times and I get the sweats. On top of all this back in October of 2008 I feel of a ladder on a driveway where I have two compound fractures of the L1 and L3 vertebrae. So I have been on two types of morphine for 3 years and 5 months. One I take 4x's per day it is a fast acting type. The other I take 3x's per day and it is a slow release form. I feel like I should come off of these meds because of the way I feel if I start to get nervous waiting for the next refill to come or if I am having a bad day taking more than prescribed. So my tolerance level is fairly high for all these meds. I am scared to tell my doctors this for fear of they will completely take me off of the meds and have some serious withdrawals. I am just scared all the way around. Please any advice would be helpful. Bouy63

Lita Perna Says...:

You seem to know you are in a dangerous and possibly deadly situation. Your fear is the most healthy thing about your situation. In your case, fear is good. You say you feel you should come off the morphine. You say you take more of Benzodiazepines and Morphine than prescribed. You say you're getting the sweats. Who can know if this is Xanax or morphine withdrawl? You say your tolerance level is high for both drugs. It is. It will increase. It may kill you.

Let your fear motivate you. Let your fear keep you alive. Let your fear get you the help you desperately need. You can't do this alone. You don't have to.

Act now. Today. This minute.

You need to get yourself to a professional ASAP who specializes in anxiety disorders (look up therapists on Google or get a referral) who can also link you up with a physician who treats addiction.

Being brave is not, not feeling fear, but acting in spite of it. Get help fast. Do it now.

Do this FAST! Don't wait.