Question: I am at a loss . No one really wants to help me and everyone said it's my fault because I let my kid get a license, which gave him freedom to leave small town. Now he's in the throes of loving to smoke weed. I can't reason with him, and he tells me he smokes it, and now that I know what it smells like, He has not hit the other drugs, as far as I can tell. I can tell. He's so close to 18 and I just am not sure what to do to not lose him forever. He listens to underground rap and well, he wants to look like them and well, I am not a millionaire

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Thank you for connecting with us. I totally understand the feeling of being concerned about your son as he is on the cusp of becoming an adult. I certainly would not fault you for allowing him to get a license as this is an important life skill. I would say the best you can do is express your concerns to your son and I urge you to do so without being overly critical of his those he looks up to. Relating to our children as adults is a huge transition. Share concerns without judgment and be patient. As a father who has been a young man and raised a young man I can tell you that at 18 we know everything and as Mark Twain noted, "By the time I was 21, my father (or mother) was the smartest person I knew. It's amazing how much he learned in three years!"

Question: Have a son, 17, who thinks smoking weed is fine. I didn't notice it at first, so it seemed like I condoned it. I am now seeing that he won't eat my food,(so skinny) talk to me, be home. He still has good grades, but all his friends are leaving him. He is beginning to lie to look good. I have tried talking. I haven't really taken any thing for I guess I don't want him to runaway or go into deeper drugs?? He's not skipping school. Just being late and becoming truant late... (2 to 7 minutes)

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there and thank you for writing to me! I would encourage you to talk openly and honestly with your son about marijuana. For many adolecents, marijuana use can be a sign that something is amiss - but perhaps not in the way you might think. Many folks use marijuana to medicate anxiety, Attention Deficit Disorder, and depression. I would encourage you to talk with him about the benefits he experiences from use and discuss different ioptions for getting his needs met.

A lot of what you're describing is what most would call normative teenage behavior. I do not excuse or condone your son breaking your rules for the family. I do want to share with you that what you've described does not set off red flags for me as an addictions counselor nor as a father of two healthy adults.

I love that you're concerned - it shows how much you care. Please share that with your son and see what's possible. Please write to me if I can answer questions or be helpful.

Question: I plan on doing a very gradual Suboxone taper. I tried a fast one before and it was HELL so I am going to do it smarter this time. I keep reading about people using Imodium and that it takes away a lot of the withdrawals because it is an opiate but here is where I am confused. For example, if I was taking 8 and I went down to 7 and then to reduce the withdrawal symptoms I used loperimide for 2 or 3 days once I stopped using loperimide wouldn’t I feel just like I had when I went down originally from 8 to 7. What I mean by this is isn’t using loperimide just keeping my opiate receptors from returning to normal while I use it and thus defeating the purpose of the taper in the first place? My plan is to do small drops every week to 10 days and to use loperimide for the first 2 or 3 days after each drop. What do you think about this?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there and thanks for reaching out. I applaud your efforts at tapering and your goal of being free of the substance. To be perfectly candid with you, going down 1mg every seven to ten days is totally manageable. Adding loperimide seems unnecessary to me. I get your thinking here and I agree that keeping your opiate receptors from returning to normal is counter productive. We always want a little something to take the edge off and we always seem to come up with a back up plan. Keep it simple - 1mg a week is manageable. I get that it's scary and rough but you can do this! Good luck to you!

Question: Can you get addicted to steroids? How can you get addicted to a drug that does not make you feel high?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there and thanks for your question. Unfortunately, yes - we can say that people become addicted to steroids because they continue to use despite negative consequences. The high of steroids is not the euphoria that it is with other drugs - it is more about achieving the desired outcome. I encourage you to reach out to your primary care physician and discuss your concerns. I would predict that your recovery process would be relatively pain free in terms of withdrawals, but it's always best to err on the side of caution and ensure that we do things in the safest way possible. Good luck to you!

Question: I am a heroin user. I dose every 12 hours or I start getting sick. In the last 3 weeks I noticed that by about 10 hours I start getting a lot of hives and then after I dose these hives disappear. Is this normal or am I allergic to not being high (haha). I realize this is a help site but with school and work I just can’t deal with withdrawal now.

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hey there, thanks for your question. I'm intrigued by your use of the word, "dosing." I have no interest in judging you. I point to this word because it feels like a gross rationalization. You're self medicating? I get that. Heroin for you is medicine - cheap opiates take the edge off anxiety and pain. That you can function (I assume pretty well) in school and work is rare with using at your level and frequency.

Are you allergic to being not high? Hardly. Your body is starting withdrawals at the ten hour mark and your addiction is demanding to be fed. I'm wondering if you've been through withdrawal before - guessing you have. The first 72 hours are hell and it's progressively better from there. Take a week off and do a medically supervised detox. You'll do better work, get better grades, and avoid going further into hives and hell. Wishing you the very best.

Question: How do you look at dealing with the Addiction of Alcohol compared to other drugs? I know some say A drug is a drug. Although I agree to some extent, there are different components that one drug carries from another..

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there and thanks for your question. Yes, as they say, "addiction is addiction, is addiction" and yet there are differences and some of them need to be acknowledged and addressed. In my experience 95% of what we have to deal with is ourselves and in order to do that we have to be clean and sober. The other 5% can be dealt with bit by bit. Food addiction is unique in that it's the one addiction that I HAVE to continue using in a healthy way. Alcohol is unique in that no matter how hard I try, I can't stay away from it - (it's in every store I go into). I think focusing on what divides us and what the distinctions are drives us away from each other. My choice is to focus on what unites us, connect to others (even after all my healthy years I'm still no good alone other than brief period of solitude) and choose what I'm moving toward and not just what I want to get away from.

I'm not sure what your journey looks like but I hope that it includes amazing people and the recognition that you're one too (most of the best people I know are in recovery). Good luck and blessed be!

Question: I can’t stop marijuana I am dependent in that I need it many times every day or I start to feel quite anxious and ill. I have tried stopping many times but I can’t make it for more than 2 or 3 days before it gets to be too much. It’s weird. Even though I knew that I could not stop I never considered it that I was addicted and dependent on marijuana because I did not really think of the herb as that kind of substance. Last night I went to my first NA meeting. I was really nervous before going in and then honestly the whole time I was there I felt like a poseur who was just smoking herb next to these guys with hardcore heroin habits. I am never going to feel comfortable in that scene but I do not know what to do to stop?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there - thanks for your question. Everything you're saying suggests to me that you've been using marijuana to self medicate anxiety. My guess is that you struggled with feelings of nervousness or worry before you started smoking and now those same feelings are returning but with greater intensity. The key to your recovery would be to find strategies to cope with emotions other than using marijuana.

We never really just eliminate something from our lives - we replace it. I strongly recommend talking with your doctor about a non addictive medication for anxiety - something like Lexipro or Celexa. I urge you not to make comparisons between yourself and others in NA. If something makes our life unmanageable than comparing it to stronger substances is just going to make us feel bad. I would urge you to get the NA workbook and complete it - it will challenge you and help you to consider how you can get what you need and feel okay without herb.

I also urge you to share your goals and hardships with friends and family. The change you're seeking is too hard to do alone! I wish you the best of luck and please write again if I can be helpful.

Question: Is it a big deal if a person is tripping and hallucinating when they stop taking coke? My brother is talking to our dead mom as if she were here in the room with us and he can see her. He is getting off coke now first but I think he was just on a monumental binge since he has to check into jail for 4 months in 2 days and that is why he is getting off coke now.

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there and thanks for your question. It's great that your brother is off coke but I think you have every reason to be concerned. Having run into some pretty significant and objective problems, he stops using one drug, does another, and is coping poorly. Treatment on an outpatient basis would be the starting point I'd recommend and I'd strongly urge him to consider NA and attending a few meetings with an open mind. Please take very good care of yourself as you live with these warranted concerns. It's heartbreaking to experience the powerlessness that goes along with this type of powerlessness. Please get support for yourself from family and friends. Whatever you're feeling about this is understandable. Good luck and blessed be.

Question: How many nitrous balloons will cause brain damage? If I did 100 would that be enough to effect my thinking?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there. Thank you for your question - especially as it addresses a misconception:

It's actually very simple:One does damage and every one that follows does as well.

The popularity of the drug ebbs and flows and frankly it's hard fr me t imagine anyone finding it all that entertaining in the first place. Do yourself a huge favor here - lots of damage for very little enjoyment.

Challenge to you: just exactly how bored are you in your life these days?

There are way better drugs - my personal fave is adrenaline - it takes more courage - but the rewards are way better

Good luck - Jim

Question: I am not a cocaine addict but I am a regular user and binge user of about half an eight ball per week. I have snorted most weekends for about 4 years. I do not have an addictive personality and I have a very high pressure job so I need this once a week to blow off steam. I work hard and I need to play hard. The proof that I don’t have a problem is that I have the money to afford as much as I want and this is all I ever buy. My self control always amazes some of my, let’s say, NEEDIER friends who can’t stop once they start until they’ve blown their bank accounts. Problem is…my septum is getting really thin and I had a cold this week and when I was blowing my nose and one time a huge chunk of clotted blood came out. Scary. It forced me to look at things closely. I will not let myself become an addict. I have done some research and I plan to sniff saline water after each snort and I think this will prevent further damage, since I don’t use that often, as long as I alternate nostrils every weekend. Even in the worst case situation I can afford the plastic surgery. Question is, a part of me knows this is fucked up. Is it possible to choose to do something that you know is starting to have higher and higher consequences and still call it that you are making a free will choice?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hey - thanks for your truly excellent question. I'm gonna take some of your words and elaborate on them:

"...a part of me knows this is fucked up."

Yup - that's your gut feeling. You're smart and therefore all the more able to rationalize and justify. There is part of you that knows that if you were truly okay with what you're doing, you wouldn't need to have reasons why it's okay and you wouldn't be asking me or anyone else. If you wanted something other than the truth, you'd seek out people who tell you what you want to hear.

"Is it possible to choose to do something that you know is starting to have higher and higher consequences and still call it that you are making a free will choice?"

Addiction is like cancer - it spreads pervasively, silently, and without notice until we're already well beyond being in trouble. The disease of addiction gradually claims not only a person's free will but also their self. Addiction is unique in that it is the one disease that lies to us and tells us we don't have it.

Look, I'm not saying you're an addict - I am saying there are countless ways to "blow off steam." You need to play hard? Okay - how about playing with something that isn't proven to do damage to your heart? How about looking down the road a little ways? I'm guessing you're young(ish). Ever see a guy my age (late forties/early fifties) do cocaine? What did it look like? A guy whose playing hard? Hell no. It looks pathetic - not because he does or doesn't have a problem but rather because he's "that guy" in the club. He's a guy who didn't grow up.

Look - take that part of you that tells you this is fucked up and let it have a voice. Invest an hour of your life and put pen to paper and let me know (please) what you find out about yourself.

Good luck, friend.