Question: Read your article about Alcoholic thinking and shared it with my Dad who is an alcoholic and would like to fine the right help. He is 76 and has tried just going to AA but really had trouble finding a sponsor he could respect and trust. I am thinking a good local therapist might be very helpful to him. Is there any one that you know of in Orange County, CA?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there and thank you for your question. It can be tough to find a good therapist and unfortunately, I'm about 3,000 miles away from Orange County. It's my experience that the best local clinicians - especially those knowledgeable about addiction are well known by the members of Alcoholics Anonymous and (for yourself) Al Anon. I would urge you to see who they recommend as those folks tend to have strong appreciation for those of us who "get it." Please take excellent care of yourself while you seek to help your dad and if I can be otherwise helpful please email me counseling@roadrunner.com

Best,

Jim

Question: My son is a D&A addict with MH issues. He needs a longer term rehab facility that can also assist him with his MH issues. He recently lost his job and has no insurance. A few days after losing his job he was hospitalized in a BHU where he was started on meds for his MH issues. When he left there he went to a residential program paid for by the county for ten days. From there he was taken to a homeless shelter in the middle of a heavily drug affected area in a nearby, small city. He used again in just a few days. He desperately needs and wants help but we don't know how to get him help and my husband and I cannot afford to send him to a treatment facility. We live in PA. All help will be appreciated!

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Thank you for reaching out with an important question. My heart goes out to your son and to your family. Treatment of every form is very expensive and for the uninsured it's often unattainable. The best resource I have seen for the uninsured are faith based rehabilitation programs. The Salvation Army in particular has been helpful to a lot of folks I've served. The Christianity of programs like these is objectionable to a lot of folks in early recovery and I urge them to use the "buffet approach" (take what you like and leave the rest). Try this link from SAMHSA for further options: https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ Very best to you and yours, JIm

Question: In Massachusetts, what is the usual amount of time prescribed for mandatory heroin addiction treatment? Is there an average or a usual amount? The law says up to 90 days. Do most addicts get the full 90 days?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there and thank you for your question. The short answer is that while there is a lot of variance from state to state, there is also variance (in my experience) from judge to judge. I would expect the number of past convictions would be factored, as well as any existing probation and parole requirements to be factored in. I encourage folks to consider getting as much treatment as possible. If you are to appeal to the court for less treatment, it should be based on economic hardship and/or needs of family members, in which case I would encourage you to seek day treatment or outpatient services. Your best bet may be to get an assessment completed by an addictions professional and present those findings to the ADA in charge of your case. Good luck and please make your recovery a priority!

Question: What exactly is a man in his mid 70s who is drinking too much supposed to do. My uncle retired only a couple of years ago but since he did he’s come adrift and all he does every day now is sit in the local hole in the wall bar and drink quarts of beer from mid morning onward. I’ve talked to him about it and he says he knows he’s got a bit of a problem but he doesn’t know what to do about it. He’s a really good man but he’s a bit cranky and set in his ways he’s just not going to do well in any situation with younger people like AA. He’s not well off but he needs some help and I am not sure he should be living on his own really. What can a senior citizen on a pension do when he needs serious help with his drinking?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there and thank you for your excellent question. We've seen a lot of folks struggle with retirement and for many, they drink because they're just not sure what else to do or because they're trying to fill an emptiness in their lives. I'm a big believer that people need a reason to get out of bed in the morning. In the absence of structure - if it doesn't really matter what day of the week it happens to be, the pitfalls of depression become more common and harder to get out of.

I'd ask your uncle what he misses and what he love/loved doing. Volunteerism, mentoring, and other ways to invest in the lives of others can be extremely rewarding if he is open to it. Enjoying his life more seems key to his recovery.

Of course I also want to encourage him to speak to his doctor and discuss his drinking, the risks and how he can mitigate them. Then I want to talk about AA because in addition to the countless benefits of the program, the median age of most meetings is NOT young people - unless he is in a very rural area, I'd expect that if he were willing to attend a variety of meetings, he'd have no problem at all meeting folks in their 50s and 60s and perhaps even folks in their 70s.

Being "cranky" is often simply depression without vulnerability. The twilight years (terrible euphemism) are hard. Getting into something that's more fun than drinking feels like something he may be amenable to - if you're willing to involve him, help him find something he can feel good about doing or to have a greater purpose, then I like his chances. Good luck and blessed be!

Question: I am getting ready to start a poppy tea detox and I am considering so things and I have accumulated an arsenal of Kratom and loperimide and tenzepam. I I wonder if I am just repeating old patterns that got me addicted in the first place I am always looking for an answer to my problems or my feelings or my state of being in a chemical and another part of me just wants to not feel the shit. Have spent so much time on forums talking with people about how to do this and it seems like a lot of these guys are just switching around their chemicals and like a merry go round. Is there any value to feeling the full pain and giving your brain a full on detox or is that just masochism?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there and thanks for your excellent question. It feels like your intuition is trying to tell you something. That small voice that tells you you're kidding yourself? Yeah - that's your gut saying, "We've been down this road before." Is there value to pain? Well, it's certainly not masochism - it's real. I hear Three Days Grace singing, "I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all."

So, yeah. It's time to get off the merry go round. It's time to break free of chemicals and stop living patterns that only go in circles. You deserve better. This requires rigorous honesty with yourself and yeah, it hurts. See your doctor and make sure you're safe. Surround yourself with some good people and get clean and clear.

Good luck to you and blessed be.

Question: dear jim is rehab an option for someone such as I, who has no income and no health insurance?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there and thanks for writing. This is a question I get a lot and I wish I had more options to share. The very best resource I know for those seeking to overcome addiction without insurance is the Salvation Army. Now - there are a myriad of needs and resources that are a part of recovery - we can seek low cost and no cost medical care in local clinics for example. I am assuming that what you need is rehab and that you may or may not be medically compromised even after your initial period of sobriety. I urge folks to check with local hospitals and churches. Of course, the greatest resource to those in recovery remains the good people of AA and NA and if I were overwhelmed and/or unsure where to start - that's where I'd begin.

Good luck to you and blessed be - lots of meetings and lots of Grace may well be enough to get you to the new life you've been wanting :)

Question: Hi I'm 28 and a very bad junkie and very homeless but I have a dog will a treatment center help me or decline me because of her?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi there - thanks for writing. I get it - your whole world is mess but the dog loves you anyway and the idea of having to give it up just kills you, right? Sad as this is - it's one more thing your addiction will use against you to prevent you from getting the help you need. The guilt and responsibility and loyalty all just feels like you can't possible put it down - but you must.

As much as you love the dog, you're not going to be around to care for it at the rate you're going. Take care of you - leave this one in good hands - with a shelter - with any person willing to care for it. Down the road, rescue another when you can.

First save you. You deserve this. Blessed be, Jim

Question: I have a choice to find a sober living home that my 8 year old daughter can stay with me or to leave her with her grandparents for a few more months until I get back on my feet. She wants to be with me and I miss her so much but my parents think it is too hard on her and me to move her around before I am really ready for her. I can barely think straight still cause I am only 3 weeks clean off meth so I really do not know what to do. I was a mom on meth trying to juggle all the balls in the air until they came crashing down all at once. She is my angel and I have to spend the rest of my life making up to her for everything she had to go through already so I don’t want to make a mistake right away.

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Thank you for your question - your love for your daughter comes through loud and clear and your desire to do what's best for her i awesome. I also hear a LOT of guilt in your words - while I don't fault you for that I do say that when we make decisions and parent based on guilt or fear...t just doesn't work out well.

I want to encourage you to take things slowly and view them as temporary moves and decisions. Your daughter's needs and stability come first. Now - I'm going to share with you something I say to a lot of moms and it usually either makes thm angry or they blow it off - but please hear me - YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU

I know - it's hard to hear that but it's vital. You taking a few months to improve the foundation of your recovery will benefit you and your daughter for a lifetime. It's worth it. She's worth it. You're worth it.

Prayers being sent your way. Go kick ass in your program

Best,

Jim

Question: My husband got out of the USMC 90 days ago. Got hooked on meth withing 2 weeks. He's tried 3 times to get off and and keeps relapsing. He can be clean for about 5 days then binges for 5 days. He obviously needs a residential program. Do you know if he has a VA Benefit that would cover this treatment since we have no health care insurance at the time?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Thank you for your question. The VA and its health care system are not known for quality services and their coverage tends to be limited in my experience. I do believe it's possible and I encourage you to check out this resource http://www.benefits.gov/benefits/benefit-details/307. That's a starting pint. The next option would be to access your local VA clinic and ask what the process is. If that fails, the Salvation Army offers free/low cost rehab and I encourage you to check out that option if needed. Your husband's willingness is still key. If he is willing to engage in treatment then by all means pursue every opportunity.

It sounds like he is very early on in his using - if rehab is not an option I urge you not to lose hope - a combination of outpatient treatment and Narcotics Anonymous may be just what he needs. Urge him to connect to other veterans who are struggling.

Good luck and blessed be.

Question: I would like to do an ultrarapid opiate detox but I can’t afford it. Is there a cheaper type of detox where you can get really heavily sedated during withdrawal but not actually knocked unconscious?

Jim LaPierre Says...:

Hi, thanks for your question. The short answer is no. Ultra rapid and painless...come at a high price and involve the use of drugs to help you get off of drugs. I totally get the appeal but I have the Ramones playing in my head right now, "I wanna be sedated."

The approach you're looking at isn't any faster than any other form of detox - it's just relatively painless - kinda like doing opiates, huh?

Get off any way you can, as quickly as you can - but do it under medical supervision and get yourself a better life.

Good luck and blessed be