DID or Factitious?
However, as they unfolded a few more traumatic events that I did not even remember happening (except brief short memories I always thought I was "gross" for making up, "daddy would never do that"sort of thing). My therapist at treatment and I made a timeline of events that certain parts remembered, based on my father's abuse, and we believe it happened from, perhaps as young as 2 until the last that I almost remember it, but I was watching, not there, on my 18th birthday. and i've had body memories for years; i just never knew what they were. I have so many blanks in my life, especially in my childhood, so being told that things happened freaks me out. Even when I talk to my mother and she asks if ai remember this or that and I don't. I've known my system for a while; maybe about 5 years that the original two parts came, and then onward from there - especially as they started coming out, expressing real personalities and overtaking me infront of staff and peers after a few months, I've noticed that many only come out when I feel generally safe.
I was diagnosed with DD-NOS, and the diagnosis, even that, embarrasses me. I feel like a crazy person when parts come out and buy things I don't remember buying, rearranging things, etc etc. It's too much! However, the founder of IFS, Dick Schwartz, is a good friend of my therapist's, and he was going to give the unbiased diagnosis of whether or not I truly have DID. I hope you believe me when I say that I don't even want a dissociative disorder, I don't want dissociation, PTSD, let alone DID..
But he was scheduled to come on a Friday and I left due to insurance on a Wednesday.
My team decided that I either most likely had mild-DID or a factitious disorder because "some of my stories of my life were too factual, or too broken up and not connecting" but the reason they don't connect is that I honestly don't remember. I want to go back to this tx facility when I go back into residential tx for trauma, but should I face them again because maybe they're right and I don't even know it, or should I go somewhere else for alternate opinion? I know you don't know me, but I looked up factitious disorder and I don't believe that such a disorder fits me. I don't want the trauma I have and I'd gladly say I made it up if I had. I wish i'd made it up.. but I didn't, you know? What should I do? and does it really sound like I maybe have a Factitious Disorder? Is it common for therapists to debate between both?
Ed Schmookler Says...
Let's start by me saying I am not in a position to diagnose you. I would have to see you, interview you, and perhaps even get to know you over a period of time So anything I say must be understood within that context.
Let's next talk about Fictitious Disorder. I don't know who is saying this. To answer your last question first, no it is not common for therapists to debate between both, as far as I know. In fact, I had to look up the criteria for Fictitious Disorder, since I've never heard anyone use the concept before. The criteria listed are:
"DSM-IV-TR specifies three criteria for factitious disorder:
- The patient is intentionally producing or pretending to have physical or psychological symptoms or signs of illness.
- The patient's motivation is to assume the role of a sick person.
- There are no external motives (as in malingering) that explain the behavior"
Page last updated Aug 22, 2011