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How to get porn under control?

answered 04:42 PM EST, Thu June 13, 2013
anonymous anonymous
How can I get a porn addiction under control? I work at home and I surf the internet for hours each day when I should be working. This has a huge financial impact for my family. It probably cuts my earnings down by half but I still can’t control it. No one knows about my problem. I am married and it is too humiliating to tell anyone. How can I overcome this when I am faced with constant temptation all day every day?

Dr. Jennifer Martin Says...

Dr. Jennifer Martin J. Martin
Certified Sex Addiction Therapist-c., Certified Professional Counselor
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Dear Anonymous,

Here’s what you need to do to get your porn addiction under control:

Step 1: Recognize that you have a problem and you need help.

You are well on your way, as you have asked for help and are recognizing what your addiction is costing you (relationships, finances, etc.).  However, you are living in secrecy. To gain sobriety you need to reach out to others who can support you in your recovery from porn addiction.  Find a 12-step meeting in your area and attend a meeting every day for the first 90 days.

·      Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)  http://saa-recovery.org

·      Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)  www.sa.org

·      Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)  www.slaafws.org

Step 2: Install accountability software on your computer

Internet Accountability software tracks websites you visit on your computers, smart phones, and tablets, and sends them in an easy-to-read report to someone you trust (for example: your counselor or fellow 12-step member). Tools such as http://www.covenanteyes.com offer both filtering and accountability for about $10 per month. Using accountability tools are critical when beginning recovery.

Step 3: Work with a trained sex addiction therapist

Sobriety will only be sustained if you address the core issues that are causing your addiction to porn.  Experts refer to porn addiction as an attachment disorder, which means that people who become addicted to porn have difficulties becoming emotionally close to others and most especially to a romantic partner. Finding a counselor trained in sex addiction treatment is essential to your recovery. You can find a trained professional here: www.sexhelp.com. If you are concerned about visiting an office, some of these professionals offer Skype counseling.

Step 4: Read and do the exercises in Facing the Shadow workbook

Dr. Patrick Carnes authored the first book on sex addiction treatment and now heads the preeminent organization that trains therapists to treat sex addiction. His workbook, Facing the Shadow, is an important resource for anyone beginning recovery from porn addiction.  You can work on this material solo or get support by registering for an online Facing the Shadow class: http://relate2.net/break-porn-addiction/

It takes courage to reach out and ask for help. I commend you for writing this question. You are on your way to recovery. If you want to break your addiction to porn you absolutely can.  Follow these four steps and you will be well on your way.

 

 

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Page last updated Jun 13, 2013

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