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Help with Addicted Mom

answered 11:54 AM EST, Sun November 04, 2012
anonymous anonymous
My mom is addicted to a bunch of different kinds of opiates like percocets and others. She has pain but she is so high all the time now that it is not like it was before. I try to tell her she needs to get help but she gets really defensive. We don’t really have any other family except for my grandparents who don’t get along with my mom and my younger brother who is 12. I want my mom back and I know she needs to get help. She is not making good decisions right now. How can I make her get help without getting her into trouble (I know she is going to more than one doctor to get pills). If I go to my grandparents they will get her in trouble.

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...

I am so sorry that you feel like you have to handle this alone.  I don't know how old you are, but clearly, you are taking on more that you deserve.  That said, this is not about keeping you mom out of trouble, it's about keeping yo and your younger brother safe and sound.  You say that your grandparents don't get along with you mom, but I can only hope that you get along with them and that they love you more than they dislike or are angry with your mom.  You are absolutely right that you mother needs help and unfortunately the only way to do that may seem like you're getting her in trouble.  this is a time for family and friends to come together and put differences aside.  I would strongly recommend an intervention..  This is a somewhat involved process but it is doable if you and your grandparents work together.  The goal is to get your mother the care and treatment she needs and deserves so that she can be your mom again.   Here's one website to get you started: http://thecyn.com/drug-rehab-intervention/plan-successful-intervention/  Since I don't know where you live, this may not be the place that your mother would go, but it is certainly a good resource. 

Additionally, you could speak with a counselor in your school for some additional support and guidance.  Remember, it may feel like you're getting your mother into trouble, but you are really getting her into "help" before real trouble occurs.  Again, you could ask your grandparents to please put aside their dislike for your mother and come to the aid of you and your brother by helping you to find the appropriate help for your mother.  If you are a minor (under 18) you will need an adult to help you with this, and to have their support for when your mother goes into rehab, or if she continues to refuse, then you, your brother and grandparents may have to agree to have you and your brother live with them until your mother is willing to look at how her current behavior is negatively impacting you and your brother's lives. 

Please know that you deserve to be taken care of, and not have to be the one to do the caring.  If you know the name of your mother's doctor (any one of them) you and your grandparents can schedule an appointment with him/her, and while they cannot tell you anything about her diagnosis or care due to HIPPA Laws, you can share with the doctor what your concerns are and ask the doctor for help in talking with your mother.  I know that all this sounds overwhelming, but keep your sights focused on your desired outcome which is to find help for your mother and to keep you and your brother safe.  You are brave to write this letter and ask for help... don't let your fear stop you from getting the help your family needs.  Please contact me if I can be of further help (Loren@BeingWellWithin.com)  

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Page last updated Nov 04, 2012

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