Home \ Expert Q & A \ Eating Disorders \ Eating Disorders: William Anderson \ It's my Husband's 4th Deployment. The Kids are Driving me Nuts. I'm Eating like Crazy and Gained 20 lbs. He's due Back! Help!
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It's my Husband's 4th Deployment. The Kids are Driving me Nuts. I'm Eating like Crazy and Gained 20 lbs. He's due Back! Help!

answered 12:06 PM EST, Sat December 31, 2011
My husband just left last month for his fourth overseas deployment. We have three kids and I find it very difficult when he is gone. I do not get depressed like a lot of military spouses but I do feel anxiety more often and of course I worry about him and mostly I just feel overwhelmed whenever he goes at the job of taking care of these kids and the house and the bills and his parents and everyone and everything all alone. And to really complain about it just feels so selfish. During his last 8 month deployment I gained about 15 pounds. My husband was shocked when he came home because I have always been pretty fit but I just started feeling overwhelmed all the time and I just ate a lot as a way to cope I guess. Now he has been gone for a month and it’s been the holidays and I have already gained another 5 pounds. I really don’t want to get huge and unhealthy but I can’t seem to control myself when I get stressed out, which is like every day. How can I stop comfort eating when I really need that comfort?

William Anderson Says...

Get into counseling now to get help with the stress and all the things that conspire to overwhelm you. This is really important. Having a weight and eating problem might be the thing that has caused you to seek help, but getting this counseling I'm talking about is much more important to your life than your weight. Don't hesitate. Do it now. Chances are things will get much worse if you don't.

Unless you work with one of the therapists I've trained in The Anderson Method, I'd advise you stay away from anyone who offers you a weight loss fix with the idea that weight loss will fix everything. The first thing you need to do is address these other issues that trigger the stress eating. It's not that this will stop all the overeating or fix the weight problem, but these issues must be addressed properly before you can properly apply good weight management technique. Rest assured that you will be able to improve all these problems, including the extra pounds, if you get going on it now.

I'd advise you to first get into counseling for the stress and situations related to your husband's deployment, the kids and the rest of the family. Then, once you've begun that work, get a copy of my book, The Anderson Method, or start working with a therapist I've trained as a provider.

Don't hesitate to write back to tell me how it's going.

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Page last updated Dec 31, 2011

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