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Feeling lost

answered 02:21 PM EST, Wed November 02, 2011
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I am sort of at a loss with what to do with myself now. I have worked the last 15 years in marketing and event promotions and have achieved a lot, professionally and I have always enjoyed the work and I have done well financially from it. I have always been very career focused and a very driven to succeed person so work and my professional goals have largely defined how I have lived my life, and I was always very OK with this.

I got a big promotion about a year ago to a position I had been striving towards, but the thing is, after the excitement and challenge of the first few months wore off I found myself feeling sort of blah about the whole thing. This sounds cliché but I sort of realized that there is no pot of gold at the end of this professional rainbow and that I am working very hard to keep rising into positions that do not necessarily offer me any increased happiness.

I am single and educated and financially secure and in my early 40’s. I can do anything but I can’t seriously imagine any life other than the one I’ve got, even though it’s no longer fulfilling to me. I guess I am just very lost – a mid life crisis I guess – and I don’t want to look back on my death bed and realize that I wasted my life in an office building making money for other people for things that don’t really matter. But on the other hand, what if this is just a phase I am going through and maybe I’d be stupid to throw it all away so I can move to the country and farm (one of my crazy ideas) and in another 6 months I’d just be an out of work ex marketing exec who temporarily lost her marbles. Sorry for rambling, but how can I know if quitting my job and following a totally new path in life is the right thing to do?

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...

Sounds like it's time for a change.  You indicate you're feeling empty/blah with your current position.  You say that you have a crazy idea of moving to the country and start farming... well, it may be a start for you.  Not to move, mind you, but to take some of your spare time... weekends, holidays, time off, etc to explore what it is you really love.  We reach certain ages and stages in our lives and need to really look at how we got to where we are... what motivated you, what was/is your passion?  Sometimes we start  a career because it's something we're good at, or fell into, or we were told it would be a good career, etc... Now, today, you become aware that it's not what you want anymore (if you ever really did...) So, rather than acting recklessly, start exploring... make a list of things you love... activities, hobbies, aspects of your current job, etc... Focus in on what you feel really passionate about... anything at all... maybe it is farming... Take a week or a weekend and spend time at a farm... what about it do you really love, or maybe you'll discover that it's not farming, but animals...or trees, or flowers, etc...  You mention that you are single... but not if you are in a relationship or not, or if you want to be... This is another aspect of your life that you might also want to explore and see if changes are needed here as well...

This might be a good time to go into therapy and explore your feelings and where you are in your life right now (professional and personal).  If therapy doesn't appeal to you, you might investigate a good, qualified life or business coach... Any of these options will offer you opportunities to expand your horizons, your awareness and new possibilities for your life.

I wish you all the best, and know that you can respond back should this answer open up even more questions for you.   

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Page last updated Nov 02, 2011

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