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Are you too self-conscious?

answered 04:22 PM EST, Sat November 09, 2013
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anonymous anonymous
How can you care less what other people think about you. I am constantly having conversations in my head that imaginary defending myself from what other people didn’t actually criticize about me but I just think they were thinking that. I am driving myself crazy and I just wish I did not care so much what everyone is thinking about me all the time. I feel like everywhere I go people are judging me and it makes me feel so self conscious I want to run away.

E W Says...

To a certain degree, caring about what other people think is what makes a society tick.  Social norms, relationships, even parenting, rely on the ability to factor in another point of view besides our own.  However, when thinking about what other people think is bothersome, creates undue anxiety, or becomes an obsession, intervention can help balance things out.

First please talk to a qualified counselor.  A licensed professional counselor can help assess if you are simply too self-conscious, if your thoughts may be part of a disorder needing more intervention, or if there are other issues to consider.  There is no way to know via this brief interchange how much this is affecting your life, but speaking with someone in person can help.  And whether this is part of a larger disorder or just something mildly bothersome that you want to change, a professional counselor can help with recommendations.

Please know that people can change how they think and how they feel - if I didn't believe that I wouldn't be in this profession, and if I hadn't seen it or experienced it, I wouldn't encourage you to seek help.  There are self-help books, groups, counseling, and more resources that can assist you in reaching your goals.

If you are not sure where to start, I always recommend your primary doctor for a referral, or your employer's Employee Assistance Program  - to see if you can qualify for some free, confidential services.  You can also contact your local crisis resource, local churches, or your health insurance for referrals.  

It is a great first step that you recognize what it is that is bothering you and that you want to change it.  Seek out some good assistance and I wish you the best on your way to a happy, healthier path!  

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Page last updated Nov 09, 2013

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