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Getting Past a Terrible Breakup

answered 08:47 PM EST, Wed July 27, 2011
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My finance and I had been together for 10 years and were a few months away from scheduled marriage when she announced that she had met someone else and was leaving me. It was a total bombshell. I didn’t see it coming and it just ruined me.

That was about 9 months ago, and every day I still feel the same pain I felt on that first day. I can’t get over it. I just stay home and think about her all the time. I’ve still got her pictures up all over the apartment, and I now it’s not healthy but I can’t bring myself to take them down.

I no longer go out socially with friends because I don’t enjoy it and they don’t understand what I’m going through. At first they did, but now, they all think I should be getting over it – but I am not all and now I just get so angry when they ask about it and about how they don’t get it.

I work a dead end job because my music is my passion, but since she left, I can’t even play. I have tried so many times to get her to come back and I am always wondering what I did wrong to drive her away.

I know I need to let go, but I just can’t because if I don’t have pain with her then I have nothing with her, and that just seems worse.

What can I do to get out of this hole I’m in? If this is life for me, then it isn’t worth living.

David Johnson Says...

I'm sorry for your loss. What a shock to be blindsided by the person you thought was the love of your life! You are grieving, but clearly, your grief has taken a self destructive turn. You need to see a counselor as soon as possible. Your mood will certainly worsen without help. Don't wait for your symptoms to worsen. Your life is narrowing already and your energy is fading. Act now!

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Page last updated Jul 27, 2011

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