I need gastric bypass surgery. I am very obese and I want gastric bypass surgery. My sleep apnea is bad. My heart is a ticking time bomb. I have panic attacks and I am terrified of hospitals. I am 26 years old and I am also an alkie. I am 13 months sober. I weigh 395 pounds. I work at home and I get scared in public places. I am scared I going to have a heart attack one day soon unless I do the surgery. I think I damaged my heart with cocaine. My blood pressure is really bad. I need to do this but I can’t do it. I haven’t even talked to a doctor yet. If I am really tranquilized with Ativan or will I be OK and not get a panic attack. I am sober so I never take pills.
One step at a time. Make an appointment to see a doctor about the bypass surgery. At the same time, make an appointment to see a psychiatrist about the panic disorder. It doesn't make any sense to think or worry about anything else until you do these things. Make these appointments and do the best you can until the appointments, going to meetings and staying sober. After you have the appointments, if the path is still not clear, write back. You have a number of difficult issues, but all can be addressed and resolved if you just focus on the first step (in your case two) and forget about the rest until you complete those.