Text Size
Smaller
Bigger

Anger Control

answered 07:34 AM EST, Wed November 02, 2011
-- filed under: |
I have a problem controlling my temper. I am a very nice and pleasant guy but when someone pushes me too far I literally see red and lose my ability to control my anger. I was suspended at school a couple of times for getting in bad fights and I was kicked out of a community soccer league and charged with assault for an on field fight with a player who had been playing very dirty. After he spiked me in the leg for like the fourth time I broke his jaw and knocked him unconscious. In that case, I think he had it coming. Actually I never pick fights at all but when someone crosses me or treats me or my friends badly I just can’t let it go and if it gets to the point where I am really pushed hard then I just lose it.

At a party this weekend some guy who had heard I was a tough guy wanted to make some trouble for me and started calling me names. I tried to ignore him but after a while I asked him to stop and when he wouldn’t I lost control but this time I grabbed a steak knife that was on the counter and stabbed him in the leg and then he and friends took off.

I am worried now because I already have one assault charge and I don’t know if I am going to get charged again for stabbing him, even though he started it. I am also worried because I so totally lost control and I never meant to stab anyone and it just happened in the heat of the moment. I’ve got to learn how to control myself. I kind of like my tough guy reputation but I do not want to go to jail and I can see that if I don’t learn to control myself that is where I am going to end up.

Dr. John Gorvin Says...

You are correct that this is important to address immediately.

 

Focus on controlling this – what are specific things you can do to stop the escalation of your anger?

 

  • Walk away (when you say you tried to ignore it, that is when you walk away – create distance between you and the instigator).
  • Count to 10 (or 100) before you say or do anything
  • Take deep breaths

What will help you remember the consequences of your actions before you act?

 

I suggest you go to counseling immediately to learn why you act this way, and to learn ways to cope and control it.  You also should have a psychiatric consultation to see if there are medications that can help you be calmer and in control

 

I also recommend a full psychological evaluation to rule out that you any mood based disorder or anxiety disorder, and this will help focus and direct your treatment

 

 

Email It Send this page Print It Print friendly page Subscribe Subscribe to this topic category

Page last updated Nov 02, 2011

Join Thousands of Readers

who receive our weekly recovery newsletter.

Anger Management: Featured Experts
All Experts
Topics Covered by this Expert
Anger Anger Management

This website is certified by Health On the Net Foundation. Click to verify. This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.